madgirl1991 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 A guy messaged me on both okcupid one month ago. We chatted a bit then I forgot about him. A week later, he messaged me on Tinder, and I flirted back, not knowing it was the same guy. We had some fun conversations about general life via text for the next two days, and so one morning when I was sent home from work for being sick (but felt fine) I didn’t hestitate to ask him to hang out. He’s in final year uni, had the day off and agreed. He biked 30 minutes into the city near my work. We went for a walk, discovered a mutual love for kfc so had grabbed some, then he asked what I’m doing later and suggested I come over for a movie. I agreed as I was feeling crazy! Caught a bus to his house (he rode his motorbike home). Four guys (only one had a gf) lived together with him in what was clearly a party house. It was messy, decorated very tastefully with the bachelor pad setup complete with a billiard table, hot tub and bar. His en suite bin had used condoms from the night before. We watched a movie for 2 hours. It was a bit awkward, as we couldn’t talk much. He held my hand at one poiont, but i moved away after awhile. He asked to see my dance moves (as i like dancing) and we waltzed together. We both liked that I had another function to be at by 6:30, he offered to drop me home at 5:30 (I was surprised..a bit earlier than I had stated I needed to leave…). Later that night I received a text that he had fun with me. I agreed, saying he had good taste in movies and he said well if you ever want to watch another one you can come over. Sorry i dont think that will work. I said I think we have different expectations, I saw the condoms in your bin. He said, those girls im seeing aren’t the kind I want a relationship with. Im not actively look for a gf, but the right one could change my mind. In the past, I didn’t take it slow to make sure we were compatible before diving in, so now im not sacrificing my freedom unless the girl is awesome and worth it. I said that’s fine, I like the idea of friends first then figuring out what we want. I don’t want to spend time alone in his house because that leads to a fwb situation. He agreed that it’s a good idea, he is happy to spend time where I like, said he knew I was making a proper effort to meet someone based on my profile and that I wouldn’t be easy like most chicks, and that it made him like me more. We kept texting all weekend. We both had a lot planned but i hinted at him coming out late sat night to see me at the club, he didn't. Then sunday morning we were texting i asked if i could come over and hang. He said he was at a friends house and wouldnt be home for ages. We kept texting, friendly as ever. Wednesday night he asked if I would like to do something the next night, as his work was cancelled so he spare time. I asked what he had in mind, he said a café followed by drinks, or dinner followed by drinks. I joked it was all alcohol related and he was just trying to take advantage of me! Then I suggested a cha cha class at a club in the city, he said sure, we can dinner before too if you like. So we went out last night (Thurs). An hour before he texted me potential outfits he would wear and I did the same, so we ended up dressing to coordinate! Very cute! We caught public transport together, when we got there he bought us drinks and we had so much fun dancing. He sucked but was obviously trying hard At one point I felt like sitting down, told him to go ahead and dance and he just left me..though we found each other ten minutes later. Also he seemed to be fascinated at how these ugly guys near us had “such good looking girlfriends”...However, he gave me lots of compliments on my appearance and dancing, happily carried my handbag the entire night, even though it made him look silly. He also paid for basically everything. His friends gave us a ride home as they were passing the area. They didn’t act surprised to see me nor interested in getting to know me. When we got to his place, he immediately asked if I’d like to go home now. We went in for a second to get something, and I was disappointed he didn’t even try to take me into his room..lol. he dropped me home, we said goodbye (no hug or kiss). An hour later he texted thanks for the night, he had fun and sorry he was a terrible dancer. I agreed and said im sure he was hiding his moves so the other dudes didn’t feel bad. He said that’s it! The other guys were already feeling bad as it is cuz I had the prettiest dance partner in the room (me). Today (Friday) I asked him if he could help me with something (too do with his area of expertise) over dinner (its legit, i really do need his help). He joked was this my way of asking him out. He said he is free Sunday night. I said I’ll come over at 6pm, and he said, ok im seeing a friend for coffee late that afternoon, that should be fine I’ll let you know if not. Questions: 1. Is this guy playing me? I feel like he has all the signs of it, with him being super flirty/attractive, living with partyboys and admitting to enjoying dating and having fun, always being busy during primetimes, and not asking me on a real date. But him texting me all the time, acting like a guy who wants to be my bf when we are together and not trying to get me into bed confuses me. 2. How do I proceed? I don’t want to rush, he is right that you need to take time to determine compatibility before a relationship. But if he’s not even in the mindset of seeing me as a potential gf, then I don’t want to waste my time. Its only been two dates, but everything combined is making me more attached than I’d like to be and its frustrating he’s not trying harder to spend time with me.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 It seems like you are playing him, telling him one thing and wanting another. Are you serious with this post? At that age many guys live with their friends in uni. How do you not know this? You told him you wanted to be friends first. Your exact words were from your own post.... "I said that’s fine, I like the idea of friends first then figuring out what we want. I don’t want to spend time alone in his house because that leads to a fwb situation." He isn't trying to get you into bed because you basically told him you saw condoms in his bin and you aren't into that. You said to him, in your post again.... "Sorry i dont think that will work. I said I think we have different expectations, I saw the condoms in your bin." Why in the world would you say that to him if you want to have sex? You are setting him up for failure if you say one thing and expect another. Honestly you sound like you don't know what you want and are a total flake. He sounds fine, laying it all on the table for you and being honest per your post once again... "He said, those girls im seeing aren’t the kind I want a relationship with. Im not actively look for a gf, but the right one could change my mind. In the past, I didn’t take it slow to make sure we were compatible before diving in, so now im not sacrificing my freedom unless the girl is awesome and worth it. I said that’s fine" He said he wants to get to know you first before becoming bf/gf and you said fine and now you want to make sure that this is going to Seriousville. You proceed by listening to what he says and remembering what you have told him and understanding that if someone tells a guy something he is actually going to listen to them. How about enjoying your time with him to see where it may lead and if he isn't making plans with you or calling you, you move on. You seem to want to rush into a serious relationship without even knowing the guy. Get to know him. Slow down, Grumps 5
Author madgirl1991 Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 I get what you are saying about the sex stuff. I guess I am not sure what i want. I want him to try and get me into bed, so i can resist? That's kind of a fun game! Okay but the other things i mentioned that point to him being a player. if he was interested in me, and we are friends first, wouldnt he be giving me time, to get to know each other, through friendly activites? eg: a movie, dinner, beach, park etc..he doesnt seem to make me a priority at all. I want him to want me to be his gf now, so i can push back and be like, no..take it slow..friends first. because if the guy isnt into you after the first few dates, to persue you...why would he persue you later? 1
Grumpybutfun Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Another fun game you could play is be a decent human being and not play with people. Yeah, that one sounds fun. SMH, Grumps 9
quidproquo89 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 He seems like a confident guy who has no problem getting women. He may, I say may be looking at multiple women. But this isn't your problem, you are a catch, right? I don't know you, but I'm telling your confidence and inner peace that you are a catch. So, like all catches, you don't need to worry about whether or not someone is interested. If they are they will make it apparent. If I were you, I'd stay available, enjoy your chats, meet ups with him, but try not to get too emotionally involved. I think its quite good he is taking things slow with you. You explained earlier in your post that you didn't want to be one of those girls he sleeps with on a whim and doesn't see again. (You said you saw condoms in the bin). So you don't want to be that girl. I would say continue enjoying each others company, you obviously like each other and get on well. So enjoy it and relax. Hopefully in time it will develop, but by making him work for your affection/get into bed with you. He will have no choice to respect you. I think you are doing an excellent job so far. Telling him not you not the sort of girl to sleep around and like a gent to be a gent. Or words to that affect. You can always lightly ask him how he feels about you. Just don't lay it on too thick or come across as desperate. Keep it light and fun. Most of all enjoy yourself. Hope my rambling helps lol
Gaeta Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 This man has been nothing but a gentleman with you. He is following exactly what you asked for. I agree with Grumpy here that if there is a player here it's you. You say one thing but wish another. Also about not being his priority....being a priority is the privilege of a girlfriend. You 2 are being friends and getting to know each other, you have the priority of a friend and it's how it should be till you are moved to the position of girlfriend. 1
quidproquo89 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I get what you are saying about the sex stuff. I guess I am not sure what i want. I want him to try and get me into bed, so i can resist? That's kind of a fun game! Okay but the other things i mentioned that point to him being a player. if he was interested in me, and we are friends first, wouldnt he be giving me time, to get to know each other, through friendly activites? eg: a movie, dinner, beach, park etc..he doesnt seem to make me a priority at all. I want him to want me to be his gf now, so i can push back and be like, no..take it slow..friends first. because if the guy isnt into you after the first few dates, to persue you...why would he persue you later? I'm sorry but this is what is wrong with dating today. Instead of a boy and girl met and get to know each other and then date and start a relationship, you get this. You want him to want you so you can mess with his head. Am I reading this right? You want to bring someone who has done you know wrong down? That's really screwed up, anyone else agree with me? 3
quidproquo89 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Another fun game you could play is be a decent human being and not play with people. Yeah, that one sounds fun. SMH, Grumps really well said mate, reading the first post and then the follow up from 'madgirl' its despicable behaviour tut tut 1
Gaeta Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 That's really screwed up, anyone else agree with me? Agree 100%. There's one player here and it's not him. OP treat your dates the way you'd went to be treated. Would you like a man to play you with this push and pull game? It's not even push and pull it's pull and reject. 2
Emilia Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 His en suite bin had used condoms from the night before. ........ He said, those girls im seeing aren’t the kind I want a relationship with. Im not actively look for a gf, but the right one could change my mind. In the past, I didn’t take it slow to make sure we were compatible before diving in, so now im not sacrificing my freedom unless the girl is awesome and worth it. .................... His friends gave us a ride home as they were passing the area. They didn’t act surprised to see me nor interested in getting to know me. .................... Questions: 1. Is this guy playing me? I feel like he has all the signs of it, with him being super flirty/attractive, living with partyboys and admitting to enjoying dating and having fun, always being busy during primetimes, and not asking me on a real date. But him texting me all the time, acting like a guy who wants to be my bf when we are together and not trying to get me into bed confuses me. Yes he is playing you. He doesn't sound like someone particularly interested and just going through the motions with yet another girl. 4
David87 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Yes he is playing you. He doesn't sound like someone particularly interested and just going through the motions with yet another girl. He's a player alright, I've recognised all the signs. Good advice Emilia. 1
Emilia Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I get what you are saying about the sex stuff. I guess I am not sure what i want. I want him to try and get me into bed, so i can resist? That's kind of a fun game! Building sexual chemistry. Yes it is fun Okay but the other things i mentioned that point to him being a player. if he was interested in me, and we are friends first, wouldnt he be giving me time, to get to know each other, through friendly activites? eg: a movie, dinner, beach, park etc..he doesnt seem to make me a priority at all. I want him to want me to be his gf now, so i can push back and be like, no..take it slow..friends first. because if the guy isnt into you after the first few dates, to persue you...why would he persue you later? Smart girl and you are absolutely right.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Building sexual chemistry. Yes it is fun Smart girl and you are absolutely right. Why exactly do you think game playing is smart? This sounds like something no man in his right man would accept or think is appropriate. However, you normally make sense to me so I want to hear your reasoning. G 3
Emilia Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Why exactly do you think game playing is smart? This sounds like something no man in his right man would accept or think is appropriate. However, you normally make sense to me so I want to hear your reasoning. G why thank you, likewise. I think the OP's behaviour is a reflection of the man's attitude towards her. She has good intuition, I wouldn't say she is playing, I'd say she is being very cautious because she doesn't trust him. I see this kind of behaviour from men all the time: Cavaets in the beginning 'I told you I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, I didn't lie to you'. Even though he is dangling the carrot 'if you are the right girl....'Taking her out but really not trying to emotionally engage her (which is a good thing by the way, at least he isn't the worst kind). He isn't trying to get her to like him.His friends being used to seeing all this so they don't care about her since they know she won't be around. Building sexual chemistry with someone is good, teasing is good and lots of men like it in the beginning because they like to conquer a woman. The OP is attracted to the guy but she - smartly - doesn't trust him. So she is binding her time. It's a typical dynamic I think when someone knows that something is up.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 (edited) why thank you, likewise. I think the OP's behaviour is a reflection of the man's attitude towards her. She has good intuition, I wouldn't say she is playing, I'd say she is being very cautious because she doesn't trust him. I see this kind of behaviour from men all the time: Cavaets in the beginning 'I told you I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, I didn't lie to you'. Even though he is dangling the carrot 'if you are the right girl....'Taking her out but really not trying to emotionally engage her (which is a good thing by the way, at least he isn't the worst kind). He isn't trying to get her to like him.His friends being used to seeing all this so they don't care about her since they know she won't be around. Building sexual chemistry with someone is good, teasing is good and lots of men like it in the beginning because they like to conquer a woman. The OP is attracted to the guy but she - smartly - doesn't trust him. So she is binding her time. It's a typical dynamic I think when someone knows that something is up. I think this is one of those issues where maybe men and women see something very differently going on here. She sounds like the player to me. His behavior for a college student is very normal, living with buddies, not wanting to hang out with her all time even if he really likes her, and telling someone they want to take it slow because they don't want a serious relationship until they get to know each other. If he was a player he would have told her that he wanted the same things she did, be very persuasive and hang out with her a lot to build her trust, called her and texted her a lot in order to make her think he was developing stronger feelings for her, put her in situations where she would be invited to his room so he could put the moves on her, developed personal situations like sick grandma to gain sympathy so she would give him pity sex, etc. You can't be a player if you aren't even trying to get sex. He isn't trying, he is respecting her wishes. She said she wants to be friends first so he is honoring that by not acting like a possessive bf and being with her all the time. I lived with a bunch of players and this guy isn't one. Players want in your pants and they will make you think they like you in order to get there. This kid isn't even trying. She wants to play with his head to build sexual interest and tension...he is a college guy, you don't want to build it any further or it will blow them both to the moon. Teasing sexually is never good, ever unless you already have trust built and a community around the young person to deflect some of his expectations. This is a seriously dangerous game to play because there are some guys who will be pushed and resisted too many times and they will unhinge. We should make sure young people see the world as it is, not how we would like it to be. Also, when she says she wants him to like her so she can push him away....why? Ego? Hurting him? She sounds flaky and like she has some serious self esteem issues if playing with guys is a game for her. Respectfully, Grumps Edited March 21, 2014 by Grumpybutfun 4
quidproquo89 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I think this is one of those issues where maybe men and women see something very differently going on here. She sounds like the player to me. His behavior for a college student is very normal, living with buddies, not wanting to hang out with her all time even if he really likes her, and telling someone they want to take it slow because they don't want a serious relationship until they get to know each other. If he was a player he would have told her that he wanted the same things she did, be very persuasive and hang out with her a lot to build her trust, called her and texted her a lot in order to make her think he was developing stronger feelings for her, put her in situations where she would be invited to his room so he could put the moves on her, developed personal situations like sick grandma to gain sympathy so she would give him pity sex, etc. You can't be a player if you aren't even trying to get sex. He isn't trying, he is respecting her wishes. She said she wants to be friends first so he is honoring that by not acting like a possessive bf and being with her all the time. I lived with a bunch of players and this guy isn't one. Players want in your pants and they will make you think they like you in order to get there. This kid isn't even trying. She wants to play with his head to build sexual interest and tension...he is a college guy, you don't want to build it any further or it will blow them both to the moon. Teasing sexually is never good, ever unless you already have trust built and a community around the young person to deflect some of his expectations. This is a seriously dangerous game to play because there are some guys who will be pushed and resisted too many times and they will unhinge. We should make sure young people see the world as it is, not how we would like it to be. Also, when she says she wants him to like her so she can push him away....why? Ego? Hurting him? She sounds flaky and like she has some serious self esteem issues if playing with guys is a game for her. Respectfully, Grumps she has come out and said on this forum that she wants him to like her, so she can mess with his head. She has told us that, really awful behaviour, especially after regarding the post title - 'is he messing with me'. Pfft, just awful. Its disgusting that men and women act like this
isisisweeping Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Eewww I can't say whether he is playing you or not but the smart thing would be to have nothing to do with him. Party house? Used condoms out when you get there after he invited you? Double standards for girls worth sleeping with or relationship? Guy sounds immature and disgusting 2
Emilia Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I think this is one of those issues where maybe men and women see something very differently going on here. She sounds like the player to me. His behavior for a college student is very normal, living with buddies, not wanting to hang out with her all time even if he really likes her, and telling someone they want to take it slow because they don't want a serious relationship until they get to know each other. If he was a player he would have told her that he wanted the same things she did, be very persuasive and hang out with her a lot to build her trust, called her and texted her a lot in order to make her think he was developing stronger feelings for her, put her in situations where she would be invited to his room so he could put the moves on her, developed personal situations like sick grandma to gain sympathy so she would give him pity sex, etc. You can't be a player if you aren't even trying to get sex. He isn't trying, he is respecting her wishes. She said she wants to be friends first so he is honoring that by not acting like a possessive bf and being with her all the time. I lived with a bunch of players and this guy isn't one. Players want in your pants and they will make you think they like you in order to get there. This kid isn't even trying. You are a nice man grumps and you have been married for a very long time, happily married too. I know you were in the navy and you went through your batchelor experiences but believe me, you are underestimating what men can be like. 'Players' (I hate that word by the way) aren't always your classic Casanova types that try to draw a woman in emotionally. In fact I've just had a chat with one a month or so ago about that. He is exactly the guy described in this thread. He isn't a liar, he is in fact very honest and doesn't engage the woman emotionally but they fall for it every time anyway because young women want to believe when a man says 'you might be the woman for me, I'll have to see'. I'd never thought I'd say this but Ninjainpajamas would know exactly what I mean. She wants to play with his head to build sexual interest and tension...he is a college guy, you don't want to build it any further or it will blow them both to the moon. Teasing sexually is never good, ever unless you already have trust built and a community around the young person to deflect some of his expectations. This is a seriously dangerous game to play because there are some guys who will be pushed and resisted too many times and they will unhinge. We should make sure young people see the world as it is, not how we would like it to be. Also, when she says she wants him to like her so she can push him away....why? Ego? Hurting him? She sounds flaky and like she has some serious self esteem issues if playing with guys is a game for her. Respectfully, Grumps Come on, teasing sexually is great, everyone loves that initial tension. It's not like she is sleeping with him naked in his bed not putting out. This guy is hardly a victim, they had about 2 dates or perhaps just one that I would count at such with the dancing. I think you see him as much more invested than he is. I'd say this guy is pretty cold. I don't think his emotions are in any kind of danger, he knows exactly what he is doing and she is smart enough to recognise it. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 You are a nice man grumps and you have been married for a very long time, happily married too. I know you were in the navy and you went through your batchelor experiences but believe me, you are underestimating what men can be like. 'Players' (I hate that word by the way) aren't always your classic Casanova types that try to draw a woman in emotionally. In fact I've just had a chat with one a month or so ago about that. He is exactly the guy described in this thread. He isn't a liar, he is in fact very honest and doesn't engage the woman emotionally but they fall for it every time anyway because young women want to believe when a man says 'you might be the woman for me, I'll have to see'. I'd never thought I'd say this but Ninjainpajamas would know exactly what I mean. Come on, teasing sexually is great, everyone loves that initial tension. It's not like she is sleeping with him naked in his bed not putting out. This guy is hardly a victim, they had about 2 dates or perhaps just one that I would count at such with the dancing. I think you see him as much more invested than he is. I'd say this guy is pretty cold. I don't think his emotions are in any kind of danger, he knows exactly what he is doing and she is smart enough to recognise it. I don't know where you got I think this kid is a victim. He will be if he has to deal with the OPs gameplaying. Being chill isn't cold, it is the language of young boys these days. Trust me, I have one. Saying there might be something in the future isn't gameplaying unless you use it to entice a girl into the sack and then renege after sex. This kid doesn't even seem to be trying very hard. What exactly do you think he said that for if he isn't spending time with her and he isn't trying to get into her pants? What is he playing her for? Guys will say anything to get into a girls pants. He will do anything, but this kid is just chillin. Not sure how you view this as gameplaying by him. Maybe he isn't interested in her, but from her post those games aren't going to help her any. Clear and concise is always better than telling someone one thing and then expecting another. You are setting her up for failure in relationships her entire life. Men, are there any guys here that think her game playing is fun? Let me rephrase that...any here who have had gfs and aren't desperate? I am not sure how old you think I am but I just got out of the Navy a year or so ago so I was around as a Director and Mentor to teens and early twenty something guys and girls and I know exactly how they are. Players want something. He obviously hasn't tried for what guys want which is sex. She however is going to tell him she wants no sex and then get butthurt when he doesn't try it and then tease him if he ever does. She is also just wanting him to like her so she can reject him. I think you are projecting your friends issues into this guy who did nothing more than go out with a girl twice and was an idiot and showed off his room where he had condoms in his bins. They may have been three months old knowing how often guys clean their rooms at that age. Not saying he is a saint but I find her behavior much worse. Also, teasing is a dangerous game and if you knew into the minds of some men you would see this. Teasing to me means exactly what you described...the promise without the reward. What she is doing is just defeating her. Telling someone you don't want sex and then getting mad at them for not initiating sex seems like futility to me. My twenty one year old son finds girls like this a flake wad. I was just letting her know that women have to be decent too. Not sure how you atta girl her for being a player but castigate him for it but I guess that is the ongoing saga of LS. Best, G 1
stillafool Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I get what you are saying about the sex stuff. I guess I am not sure what i want. I want him to try and get me into bed, so i can resist? That's kind of a fun game! Okay but the other things i mentioned that point to him being a player. if he was interested in me, and we are friends first, wouldnt he be giving me time, to get to know each other, through friendly activites? eg: a movie, dinner, beach, park etc..he doesnt seem to make me a priority at all. I want him to want me to be his gf now, so i can push back and be like, no..take it slow..friends first. because if the guy isnt into you after the first few dates, to persue you...why would he persue you later? You are not ready for a relationship because it seems all you want to do is play games. If you want a relationship grow up and be an authentic person. If I were this guy I would pass on you. 1
Emilia Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Not sure how you atta girl her for being a player but castigate him for it but I guess that is the ongoing saga of LS. Best, G I don't understand what you mean by the above but your post makes me think you are misinterpreting what I'm saying. I think she is right for being cautious and that games on her level never killed anyone. As for the rest, guess we have to agree to disagree completely.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I don't understand what you mean by the above but your post makes me think you are misinterpreting what I'm saying. I think she is right for being cautious and that games on her level never killed anyone. As for the rest, guess we have to agree to disagree completely. Thanks for the discussion. Very enlightening stuff, Emilia. Being cautious is always prudent when dealing with anyone you don't know. Games on her level might just break someone's heart, keep decent guys from taking her seriously and thinking she is flaky or confuse the heck out of them, but you are right, it won't kill them. Always nice to chat with someone who knows how to do it right by keeping the anger out of it. If you weren't atta girling her for gameplaying, I apologize for misunderstanding. Best, Grumps
HappyLove Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 What I think: 1) First of all you're lucky he's not the killer! You went to a perfect strangers house in a very short timeframe of knowing him! 2) Because you were so EASY to get to his house this guy knows it's just a matter of time before you give up the goods. 3) He TOLD YOU he's not looking for a girlfriend you even saw his USED CONDOMS. If you think this guy isn't gonna wait it out...at this rate it'll probably take 2 more weeks or less... he'll get what he wants and go poof. On to the next chick. 4) No amount of game playing is going to make this guy want you to be his girl. You're just setting yourself up. 1
Gaeta Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 You met a young guy on a hooking-site who's living the single life. What kind of life style did you expect? You're like an announced visitor knocking at the door on a Friday night when your house is a mess and they expect your place should be clean and tidy. Same thing! He's a single man living it and you are turned off by his used condoms in the bin. What did you expect? he's a single man. Then, this man tells you he's not in a hurry for a commitment, he wants to get to know someone before calling it a relationship. He does just that, treats you like a friend, but you're not happy again, you want to be treated like GF material but he told you he's not in a frame of mind for that yet. THEN, you call him a player because after only 2 dates you are completely infatuated with him, you say yourself you are *attached* (really? after 2 dates?) and he's not feeling it like you sooo your conclusion *he's a player*.
isisisweeping Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 What I think: 1) First of all you're lucky he's not the killer! You went to a perfect strangers house in a very short timeframe of knowing him!. With as gross as this guy is, and as much as I think she should have nothing to do with him, someone is hardly lucky if someone is not a killer. Most people are not killers. Statistically, you'd have to go to a lot of people's houses before you ran into a killer, and probably more before someone who was a threat to you. That's hardly luck.
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