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Saw ex at gym...did not acknowledge


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Posted

I just saw my ex from a distance at the gym. It's fair to assume he saw me too. I've been going so frequently as a coping mechanism that I had almost forgotten there was even the possibility of him being there. I couldn't help but peer left and right a bit...at one point he was talking to someone just like, 15 feet behind me. But, I DID NOT go up to him.

 

I figured-

1. I'm on day 22 out of at least 30 no contact (I'll reassess situation after 30 days). I DONT want to have to restart the count

 

2. I haven't heard from him at all since the breakup. If he had any desire to get back with me, or communicate with me, he had the opportunity to come up to me at the gym and didn't.

 

I WISH this relationship had been given more of a chance though...only 3 months long and broke up when neither of us expected to, just out of a moment of anxiety I think.

 

But I think I did the right thing by not going up to him at gym???? I want us to try again :( But I think me going up to him would have potentially worked against that, if anything?

 

Just looking for some affirmation here that I treated this situation the right way by not going up to him. Sad :(

Posted

You can't regret anything. Don't be concerned as to how he read anything you did. Just be proud of yourself regardless, you are living your life despite not being in that relationship. If he is a guy who really wants to try it, he'll tell you. If he doesn't... Doesn't sound like that is a guy you want to be with. You'll be fine. Continue no contact and live your life

Posted

You did the right thing :)

Kept it cool, just keep on doing what you're doing.

 

Did you know that he went to that gym?

Maybe you should consider changing gyms to avoid something like this.

Posted

Every time I glance over the title of this thread I initially see "sex at the gym..." and have to do a double take. Anybody else doing the same? :laugh:

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Posted

He introduced me to the gym. It's a special kind of gym and the only one in the area. It's a great place to relieve stress and meet people. But hard to see him there and feel like he has no desire to come up to me. After 30 days, what do I do or say to give us one last shot to try things?

Posted
But hard to see him there and feel like he has no desire to come up to me. After 30 days, what do I do or say to give us one last shot to try things?

 

You are correct. He has no desire to come up to you, to rekindle, to get back together, to do anything relating to any of those things.

 

You say nothing. You do nothing. You continue to work out, stay in shape, and ignore him like the plague. Think of him as just another stinky, sweaty gym patron and pay him no mind.

 

If he ever does come up to you, which he probably won't, you say this to him, verbatim:

 

"I'm here to work out. Not to frolic."

 

Then go back to your military presses. It's your body. Work it out.

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