momx4 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My boyrfriend & I have been together for 2 1/2 months. We only see each other every Saturday night. Is this normal? I've always been in relationships with people & saw them a lot more than that. So, I'm just curious as to how often everyone else sees their partner.
mammasita Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Depends on your circumstances. Every relationship is different. My BF and I both have full time jobs and are single parents so we spend weekends together. It works for us. Have you asked to spend more time together? 1
Mascara Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 At that stage we were together 3 nights a week - one midweek, two at weekends.
Damaged217 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I agree with Mammasita. Depends on your schedules. I'm still in the honeymoon phase with my boyfriend of 4 months so we see each other most days of the week. But our schedules allow for that. Does your boyfriend work a lot? Why do you only see each other once a week?
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 A lot. Almost every day and we have polar opposite schedules. But it's actually varied over the years. In the beginning we were long distance, so it was was like every two weeks for a couple of days. Since I moved and as we got closer, we see each other way more. And now since I'll be moving in, I'll see him everyday! But remember: quality over quantity.
Author momx4 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 We both work full time but I'm home by 430 & he's home by 600. We live 30 min apart & both have kids living eith us, but they are old enough to stay home alone. Should I ask to spend more time with him? I really don't want to seem clingy, you know? We have a great time when we are together & it's usually an over night on Saturdays, but we leave first thing Sunday morning. I'd like to spend more time together. How can I bring that up without seeming needy or clingy?
antineutrino Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 We've been together for nearly 3 months and see each other ~4 times a week even though our schedules are busy (it helps that we live close together). Sometimes that just means spending a couple hours together at night before falling asleep.
Damaged217 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 We both work full time but I'm home by 430 & he's home by 600. We live 30 min apart & both have kids living eith us, but they are old enough to stay home alone. Should I ask to spend more time with him? I really don't want to seem clingy, you know? We have a great time when we are together & it's usually an over night on Saturdays, but we leave first thing Sunday morning. I'd like to spend more time together. How can I bring that up without seeming needy or clingy? My boyfriend lives 40 minutes away and will look for any excuse to come visit me. He doesn't mind driving. Neither of us have kids, however. Does your boyfriend's kids have a lot of extracurricular activities that require a lot of his time (driving them to and fro, etc,...)? Do you ask him to hang out more? If so, what does he tell you? I would just tell him the next time you see him that you enjoy spending time with him and would love it if you could see each other a little more and see what he says. You're only spending one day a week together; I don't think he should find it "clingy" for you to want to spend more than one day out of the week together. If he cares about you, he'll find the time.
pyramid Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Current r is 2.5 months, but have known each other a year+ and our kids are friends. One set date night per week, varies other than that. Usually 3x per week total, even if it's just running errands together or taking the kids to a movie. Previous r, 4 months long, one weeknight per week and every other Sat. That wasn't enough for me, and in combination with minimal contact in between, was the reason I ended it. If you want/need more, start the conversation! If he sees it as clingy then it's not a good fit. You can't suppress your needs forever. Having needs doesn't make you needy!
pickflicker Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 A lot. Almost every day and we have polar opposite schedules. But it's actually varied over the years. In the beginning we were long distance, so it was was like every two weeks for a couple of days. Since I moved and as we got closer, we see each other way more. And now since I'll be moving in, I'll see him everyday! But remember: quality over quantity. You're moving back in with him? Jesus... 2
hellischrome Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Been together 1 year - a bit on and off actually, we both work full time (and he does long hours sometimes), I do sport tranining 2/3 times per week, we still manage to see each other at least 4/5 times, even if sometimes it means I get to his place at 11pm and we just fall asleep together. Usually we spend the whole weekend together too.
nomadic_butterfly Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 A lot. Almost every day and we have polar opposite schedules. But it's actually varied over the years. In the beginning we were long distance, so it was was like every two weeks for a couple of days. Since I moved and as we got closer, we see each other way more. And now since I'll be moving in, I'll see him everyday! But remember: quality over quantity. Wait a minute, someone blatantly tells you after consuming 3 yrs of your life he sees no future with you, unwilling to invest in you or the relationship and you're about to move in with him :eek: 2
nomadic_butterfly Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Been single for ages but usually when I am dating someone I am really into I'll spends the weekends together and sneak in some time during the week if possible. Really depends on what time/our schedules/responsibilities allow!
pickflicker Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Wait a minute, someone blatantly tells you after consuming 3 yrs of your life he sees no future with you, unwilling to invest in you or the relationship and you're about to move in with him :eek: After moving out once, because he was horrible to her...
Eclypse Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 With my ex, after 3 years we saw each other once a week, twice tops if I was lucky. I dumped her as I couldn't take it anymore. Current girl we pretty much started living together 2 weeks after we began dating. I love it! It's the best.
Author momx4 Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 My boyfriend lives 40 minutes away and will look for any excuse to come visit me. He doesn't mind driving. Neither of us have kids, however. Does your boyfriend's kids have a lot of extracurricular activities that require a lot of his time (driving them to and fro, etc,...)? Do you ask him to hang out more? If so, what does he tell you? I would just tell him the next time you see him that you enjoy spending time with him and would love it if you could see each other a little more and see what he says. You're only spending one day a week together; I don't think he should find it "clingy" for you to want to spend more than one day out of the week together. If he cares about you, he'll find the time. One of his daughter was in a sport, so he had to pick her up at either 7 or 8 p.m. every day. We haven't met each others kids yet, either, which makes it a little more difficult since we can't just hang out at each others houses. My kids go with their dad on weekends, but his doesn't see their mom. So, he comes over every Saturday night & we either go out & do something or rent movies. And he leaves early the next morning. I asked him one night about a week or so ago if we could go grab a bite to eat & he said it wasn't a good night for him. He said we would Friday, though. I was willing to drive to his town. I know he works hard physically at work, so he just wants to relax afterward. I will ask him to see each other more. I'm not looking for every day. Just maybe once during the week & once on the weekend. Then, when we do meet each others kids maybe it will progress from there.
WrinkledForehead Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I won't count the R I'm in currently as it had an atypical beginning. With the person I dated prior to this, we were seeing each other 2-3x a week at two months in.
Sunfire73 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 We're both working 9-5, i have my teen kids, and his is with his ex in another state. We've been together for almost 8 months, we spend around 2-3 nights a week. On weekends I spend the night at his house, either Fri or Sat.
clia Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 One of his daughter was in a sport, so he had to pick her up at either 7 or 8 p.m. every day. We haven't met each others kids yet, either, which makes it a little more difficult since we can't just hang out at each others houses. My kids go with their dad on weekends, but his doesn't see their mom. So, he comes over every Saturday night & we either go out & do something or rent movies. And he leaves early the next morning. I asked him one night about a week or so ago if we could go grab a bite to eat & he said it wasn't a good night for him. He said we would Friday, though. I was willing to drive to his town. I know he works hard physically at work, so he just wants to relax afterward. I will ask him to see each other more. I'm not looking for every day. Just maybe once during the week & once on the weekend. Then, when we do meet each others kids maybe it will progress from there. I think it is totally reasonable to ask for one weeknight and one weekend day at this point. Perhaps his daughter could get a ride home from practice with someone else one night during the week? I'm surprised he hasn't set up a carpool with a group of parents. 1
Atticus9292012 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 It all depends. I'm a divorced single mom and require a lot of space to be happy in a relationship 2-3 days a week max. I wouldn't want more unless we lived together.
Author momx4 Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Ok, so how do I go about asking him? Do I just come out & say I really wanna spend more time with him? I'm so worried about scaring him away, but why should it? Right?
Atticus9292012 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I would use reverse psychology on him and just talk about how much you enjoy his company and suggest things on days and times to do more frequently together. People usually respond better to that than "we need to talk" type conversations. I did that in my marriage and it worked a lot better, but if you prefer a sit down than do that.
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Ok, so how do I go about asking him? Do I just come out & say I really wanna spend more time with him? I'm so worried about scaring him away, but why should it? Right? I don't find it normal that at almost 3 months dating he only sees you late at night Saturday and goes back home early Sunday. At that rate it means you've seen him a great total of 10 times since you started dating. It also means you never spend day lite time together, you have what 3-4 hours awake together then you sleep, how are you 2 suppose to get to know each other under these conditions? Private time is nice but you will only get to know him when you are out there in the world with him and when you see him interact with his kids, friends, and family. If the kids are old enough to stay on their own then they're old enough to know dad has a *friend* and she'll be attending games, have dinner at the house, and go to movies with them and all. At 3 month mark I think it's time to tell him you want to take this to the next level and spend more time together. . How to address it? *honey I want to talk to you about something*.
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