StGeorge22 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Just venting. 5 year relationship. She had mental health issues and I did my best to support her, gave her money when she couldn't work, her family lived a long way away so my family treated her like she was part of ours. She accused me of not putting her first. The truth was that her situation caused so much stress, I did see my friends as a good way to relax. She always put pressure to get engaged, I wanted to but I didn't want to get married until we were secure. We broke up. Spent 6 months apart and when I said I wanted to try again, I found out she was with a guy she used to grow up with, who lived interstate. Was devastated but went NC. Heard from her a month later saying she made a mistake. We hung out again but it was on and off all year. She said she couldn't trust that I would put her first etc. Towards the end of the year she said she couldn't make up her mind so was moving states. You can imagine my surprise when she told me she was moving to the state where her friend who she hooked up with lived. She told me he didn't even live there anymore and she wanted to do councelling/ long distance with me. 4 days before our councelling I find out that she had seen him not long ago. She denied it but I had proof and she confessed. Told her I was done but broke NC recently when I was in her state for work. Asked if she wanted to catch up. She said no and it came out the reason was because she is with this guy . Feel like I was lead on for a whole year while she was still talking to him and eventually choose him. He is a really nice guy and she keeps saying she still misses me but he treats her how she wants. I feel really frustrated because I stayed with her when she was at her lowest, even when her family didn't support her. I'd like to see this guy to thru what I went thru with her and see how he treats her. I don't usually struggle with girls and know I'll meet someone, but after a year of her being hot and cold, the fact that she choose him really hurts. I know it doesn't matter, but I don't think it's fair to compare me to him. She always told me she was too scared to take me back, but u think I just have to accepted she doesn't love me and if she did she wouldn't leave. I know for a fact she hates the idea of me being with anyone, but that's irrelevant I guess. Sorry for the vent.
elseaacych Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 If you go back to her, you KNOW what you will be dealing with. The fact that she chose someone else speaks volumes, and even if you have that capacity to forgive and go back, it will likely be very tough for you. So give yourself the clean break you deserve. Fortunately, there are other people out there. Take care.
Author StGeorge22 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Thanks guys. I think what hurts the most is how deceiving she has been. Kept me close so I wouldn't move on telling me that she still loved me and wanted to take it slow, while all the while having him on the side. I called her out on all of her lies which felt great but I guess I'm crashing a bit. Thanks again
Author StGeorge22 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Thanks wolverine. I guess I'm in a bit of a unique situation because this has dragged on for 18 months. Every time I said enough is enough, she would say or do something to keep me around. 4 days before the councelling we were agreed to try long distance. Then bam I find out he is still there and she is seeing him. Has just got me in a head spin. In a way I feel like I have wasted my time but in another way I feel like I have done a lot of growing up. I'm 30 and as I say haven't really ever struggled to get girls . But I haven't been interested in anyone else. Guess now that decision has been made for me. Thanks for the messages guys, I appreciate it
DontBreakEven Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Thanks wolverine. I guess I'm in a bit of a unique situation because this has dragged on for 18 months. Every time I said enough is enough, she would say or do something to keep me around. 4 days before the councelling we were agreed to try long distance. Then bam I find out he is still there and she is seeing him. Well you said she had mental health issues and there is your proof. Healthy people don't act that way. My ex has some serious mental health issues as well. Mental health is tricky because it's very hard to see. But everything in her life thus far has proven that I most likely dodged a bullet by way of her ultimate rejection of me. I'm 31. Better it be now than when I'm 45 with kids and a mortgage I guess. Still hurts like hell though. I feel ya.
Author StGeorge22 Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 Yeah I'm hearing you DBE. How long were you together for and how long ago did you break up?
Author StGeorge22 Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Thanks guys. As I'm sure is the case with many of you, I keep finding myself remembering the good times. But I have deleted everything and will stick NC no matter how hard it gets. I find myself tempted to message sometimes and have a to at her, but honestly what does that achieve other than me looking like an idiot.
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