thedarkhorse Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) Okay, so I'm in college and I've been dating this wonderful guy for a year and 5 months until he dumped me earlyyyy March 10th. (Like 3 AM). It was a big mess, and I'm completely heartbroken. Two days later, we met up after class. We took a walk around campus for about an hour and a half. He still loves me and has feelings for me. He even kissed my forehead and let me rest on his shoulder. We didn't talk about getting back together. We both apologized for the way it all happened (the screaming and anger). He said that he needed space. Well, perfect timing...spring break! I haven't talked to him since Thursday the 13th, and our spring break started the 14th. I should probably mention why we broke up: -He wasn't happy because he felt like he couldn't hang with his friends -He was always taking care of me So, I figured it all out. I'm tying him down and I'm needy. This can be fixed! I need to work on my self esteem and insecurities and actually trust him. And I need to become more independent. I can do this! This would be good for MYSELF and for my relationship with him. I've been working on it all break. And I've been trying to look happy on social media (smiling/confident selfies). But I still miss him very much and I would really like to apologize and sit down and talk to him about this. I feel like this could all be fixed. I won't see him in person until the 25th. We had limited contact today. I am just so anxious about all of this. I'm so afraid he's going to move on to someone else before I can talk to him. If I stay patient and wait until I see him at school, and explain everything...do you think he and I will have a shot? I'm not going to sit around and wait. I believe in fighting for what I want. I just want to do it right.... ALSO: When talking to him I would want to stress "starting over". "Reconnecting"....etc. Edited March 20, 2014 by thedarkhorse
letsplaygofish2 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Using words such as "starting over" and "reconnecting" sounds very needy to me. IMHO, I don't think you completely understand his point of view. Someone who isn't needy, clingy or controlling will allow the other person to have their own space AND allow them to return on their own accord. The fact that you want to have a talk to convince him means you haven't truly respected his decision. Please try to find a hobby that isn't him. You can't force someone to love you, but you can force yourself to love YOU 2
Author thedarkhorse Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Okay, I won't use those words, then. I understand what you mean about me not understanding. Honestly, it's just all because I'm upset that I messed up. I don't really want to "convince" him...it's just we never really talked about the issue, we just left it there. I just want him to know that I want to change. I'll be much happier that way. (Who wants to be so dependent and needy anyway? It's not fun)
letsplaygofish2 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I'm glad you understand. Perhaps you could just simply apologize and let him know that you will respect his space. If he wants to discuss, you will be available. But most importantly just leave him alone until then and let him come to you. If you want to show him that you've changed, then just do so by actions not words. Plus, Men always like to be the chasers/pursuers anyway! Good luck!!
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