freetolove Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 My boyfriend and I are doing well overall but he's been really busy lately. We've had a few talks about it already but the last 2 weeks, I've been initiating all the conversations etc. He told me some issues with his work but I feel like he's pretty checked out of the relationship. Even his sex drive dropped to close to nothing. Now it's causing me much stress. He's been extremely slow to respond and just says things are ok when we chat. I told him he could talk to me but he never does. 90% of my relationship needs haven't been met in the last 2-3 weeks. Should I just break up with him? I'm trying to be supportive but I have needs too (emotional and physical) and I can only hold down the fort for so long. I've trying to be supportive but don't know how anymore. (suggestions?) Age is mid 30s, early 40s. We've been dating for 4 months and we're exclusive.
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 My boyfriend and I are doing well overall but he's been really busy lately. We've had a few talks about it already but the last 2 weeks, I've been initiating all the conversations etc. He told me some issues with his work but I feel like he's pretty checked out of the relationship. Even his sex drive dropped to close to nothing. Now it's causing me much stress. He's been extremely slow to respond and just says things are ok when we chat. I told him he could talk to me but he never does. 90% of my relationship needs haven't been met in the last 2-3 weeks. Should I just break up with him? I'm trying to be supportive but I have needs too (emotional and physical) and I can only hold down the fort for so long. I've trying to be supportive but don't know how anymore. (suggestions?) Age is mid 30s, early 40s. We've been dating for 4 months and we're exclusive. 4 months, let it go, break up and move on. He's lost interest and he doesn't have the balls to tell you. Most new relationship don't make it past 3 months.
Allumere Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Tell him what how you feel and what you need. Not in a finger pointing, your fault way..use some tact (tons of websites that explain what words etc. work better when communicating a problem). He could literally just be focused on work (it does happen) or he has been pondering the relationship and has doubts. It can go either way...but no sense wasting time by sitting around and running the 8000 scenarios in your head. Stop wondering whats in the box and just open the dang thing.
J21 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 You should try to give it a honest try in fixing before you break up. I think you both are mature to have a honest heart to heart conversation to discuss what is wrong and how it can be fixed.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Problem is, she IS trying to communicate with him to figure out what there is to fix but he's apparently not responding. OP, it does sounds to me like he is pushing you away for some reason. It has only been 4 months so not sure how much you're willing to hold out and be patient with him...but if you really like the guy, maybe try a different approach to have him open up. Perhaps tell him you see that he's been busy and stressed and that you want to know what you can do to support him. Tell him that you miss him and miss the closeness..that the distance between you two is wearing on you. If he still doesn't respond, perhaps it's time to move on. You should try to give it a honest try in fixing before you break up. I think you both are mature to have a honest heart to heart conversation to discuss what is wrong and how it can be fixed. 1
Author freetolove Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 thank you to reading the whole thing =) yes i have tried communicating to him already. i'll tell him about the distance it's causing.
tbf Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 It's human nature to want answers and amp up the cling when someone pulls away. But that's not how you should handle it. Back off, way off, no demanding answers or communications. Let him come to you and if there's no contact in two weeks, consider the relationship over.
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