avoforastig Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I recently went on a date with a woman I was very interested in getting to know better. At the end of the date, I said, "we should hang out again," she replied, "call or text me." I texted her asking when she had free time over the weekend?", two days after the date. My phone said it was delivered but a day later haven't heard back. Is this a lost cause? It's annoying since I never tell women I will call if I have no intention to do so. Argh!
Gaeta Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I recently went on a date with a woman I was very interested in getting to know better. At the end of the date, I said, "we should hang out again," she replied, "call or text me." I texted her asking when she had free time over the weekend?", two days after the date. My phone said it was delivered but a day later haven't heard back. Is this a lost cause? It's annoying since I never tell women I will call if I have no intention to do so. Argh! I am very sorry but it's common. She did not have the gut to tell you to your face she did not wish for a follow up date.
Author avoforastig Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 I am very sorry but it's common. She did not have the gut to tell you to your face she did not wish for a follow up date. Do you think any further attempt is futile?
BlueIris Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 If you REALLY want to see her again, skip things like “we should hang out” or making her make the plans. Call her, and leave a message if she doesn’t answer. Ask her out, for a defined date and time, to do something already arranged. Make a reservation, or check ticket availability as you need to, then call and say: “This is A. I’m calling to see if you’d like to (go out to dinner at XYZ, or something that specific and clear) on Saturday, say at 7:00.” Be concrete. Then let it sit for a day or two and if you don’t get a clear response, let her know you didn’t hear back so you’re taking that as a “no,” but it was nice meeting her. My daughters (now 23 and 27) accepted dates from men who acted this way unless they really couldn’t stand them. Its timeless, ideal, and romantic. And it doesn’t sound as though she “can’t stand” you, so I bet you have a good shot at it. Can't hurt, right? 1
Author avoforastig Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 If you REALLY want to see her again, skip things like “we should hang out” or making her make the plans. Call her, and leave a message if she doesn’t answer. Ask her out, for a defined date and time, to do something already arranged. Make a reservation, or check ticket availability as you need to, then call and say: “This is A. I’m calling to see if you’d like to (go out to dinner at XYZ, or something that specific and clear) on Saturday, say at 7:00.” Be concrete. Then let it sit for a day or two and if you don’t get a clear response, let her know you didn’t hear back so you’re taking that as a “no,” but it was nice meeting her. My daughters (now 23 and 27) accepted dates from men who acted this way unless they really couldn’t stand them. Its timeless, ideal, and romantic. And it doesn’t sound as though she “can’t stand” you, so I bet you have a good shot at it. Can't hurt, right? Just heard back with a rejection. Ugh! First date I'd been on in a while where I was actually really interested. Seriously, this **** is ****ing ridiculous. Why is it so hard to just be upfront face to face? Its such a bigger feeling of frustration when your led on, then straight up rejected.
BlueIris Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Well, poo. Sorry to hear that. It really stings, I know. Most of us have been there. It IS hard to hurt someone or say you're not interested face to face. Keep going, though.
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Just heard back with a rejection. Ugh! First date I'd been on in a while where I was actually really interested. Seriously, this **** is ****ing ridiculous. Why is it so hard to just be upfront face to face? Its such a bigger feeling of frustration when your led on, then straight up rejected. aww that sucks but don't let it discourage you. At least she told you quite quickly, some woman will drag it for 1-2-3 dates and have you wine and dine them for all they could. Don't put too much hope in those couple first dates. 1
Author avoforastig Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 Well, poo. Sorry to hear that. It really stings, I know. Most of us have been there. It IS hard to hurt someone or say you're not interested face to face. Keep going, though. I'm not sure how to keep going. It seems like every time I find someone with the qualities I'm looking for there is never a mutual interest. Then I seem to have numerous women I'm not interested in seeking my attention. WTF!
BlueIris Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Change what you can. At least start making a stab at doing things differently. If you have a first date that you really like, stick your neck out and be strong. Say something like: “I had a great time. I’d like to see you again. Would you like to go to a movie next Friday?” Right then and there. You’ll have an answer, either by what she says or in body language. If nothing else, from what I’ve heard, you’re going to stand out from the crowd instantly. Plus you take the lead and demonstrate you’re strong and confident, definitely pluses. 1
deathandtaxes Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Keep on keeping on! At least you had a good date. Don't let this discourage you! I've had plenty of what I thought were good first dates with even a second date agreed to and they reject. It's crazy land. You just can't take anything personal. 2
Author avoforastig Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 aww that sucks but don't let it discourage you. At least she told you quite quickly, some woman will drag it for 1-2-3 dates and have you wine and dine them for all they could. Don't put too much hope in those couple first dates. Do you have any tips on getting over these blips? I never know if I'm being overly-critical of myself vs. maybe it has more to do with the other person's situation. I just want to give up.
Author avoforastig Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 Keep on keeping on. All you need is that one person. I always find this to be a bit of a mind f**k! On one hand it gives me hope that the type of woman I'm looking for is out there. On the other, it makes me lose confidence I will be able to attract them.
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Do you have any tips on getting over these blips? I never know if I'm being overly-critical of myself vs. maybe it has more to do with the other person's situation. I just want to give up. I did online dating for 3 years and met over 100 men. Most I did not have a second date with and the rest of them we did not make it past 3 dates. It comes with the territory. Finally I met someone but I did because I did not let any of this get to me. Each time I had a flop it would just become a funny story to tell at the office Monday morning. I tried to have fun and learn about myself through it all. I met all types of men, I did not limit myself to one type, met men of all ages, all races and cultures. After all this dating I can tell you you only need to be yourself. There is someone out there that will like you no matter what is your style, what is your look, if you are an introvert or an extrovert. My friend got online and met her husband on her 3rd date, I hate her lol. An amazing man too, they are now expecting their second child. Don't discourage, take it lightly, try to have fun and learn through the whole process. 3
Author avoforastig Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 I did online dating for 3 years and met over 100 men. Most I did not have a second date with and the rest of them we did not make it past 3 dates. It comes with the territory. Finally I met someone but I did because I did not let any of this get to me. Each time I had a flop it would just become a funny story to tell at the office Monday morning. I tried to have fun and learn about myself through it all. I met all types of men, I did not limit myself to one type, met men of all ages, all races and cultures. After all this dating I can tell you you only need to be yourself. There is someone out there that will like you no matter what is your style, what is your look, if you are an introvert or an extrovert. My friend got online and met her husband on her 3rd date, I hate her lol. An amazing man too, they are now expecting their second child. Don't discourage, take it lightly, try to have fun and learn through the whole process. Thanks for the kind words. It's just really hard some times putting in so much effort to put your best person forward each day. I'm just exhausted. I've probably dated 15 different women over a 4 month period, just wanting things to work so badly. My life is really sensational otherwise, so I guess I shouldn't complain.
deathandtaxes Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Thanks for the kind words. It's just really hard some times putting in so much effort to put your best person forward each day. I'm just exhausted. I've probably dated 15 different women over a 4 month period, just wanting things to work so badly. My life is really sensational otherwise, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Why not take a break and date yourself for a few weeks?
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Thanks for the kind words. It's just really hard some times putting in so much effort to put your best person forward each day. I'm just exhausted. I've probably dated 15 different women over a 4 month period, just wanting things to work so badly. My life is really sensational otherwise, so I guess I shouldn't complain. It did get to me at times, when I felt frustrated at it instead of being laughing at it, it was time for me to take a break. I would delete my profile and wait 2-3 weeks. This way I did not over-expose myself and by the time I got back online the crowd had changed.
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