Phantom888 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 After my divorce, I met many women on Match, and went on many 1st dates. Most of the time I click with my date because we talk/text for weeks leading up to the 1st date. Usually by the time we meet, we like each other enough "on paper" and discussions have been interesting, and we just want to test the chemistry. I'm in my 30s, so the women I date are usually divorced with children. Most of them come from an unfulfilled marriage. I noticed there is something that I say, which counter-intuitively turns on 99% of them on the 1st date. It turns them on so much that many of them want to have sex with me on the 1st date, which I always decline because it's not my style. This is what I say: "I'm looking for a serious relationship which requires LOTS OF SEX..... this is something that I will not compromise. I need a woman who enjoys sex with me FREQUENTLY." I don't know why these words keep them interested. Later I found that some of these women didn't even want to date me, but only wanted to have sex with me. Keep in mind I'm just an average Asian dude in mid/late 30s who has never been out to impress. I feel like I trigger some sort of sexual switch when I use this line....which I only use for the sake of openness and honesty. I am upfront with what I seek, and I am never interested in casual sex. Question to the ladies: Are there any sort of non-physical presentation on the 1st date that makes you even more interested? Certain things that he says or certain discoveries?
slizl Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 LIES. I do not know one woman who would be "turned on" by that degree of a douchebag comment. 2
legion113 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 LIES. I do not know one woman who would be "turned on" by that degree of a douchebag comment. I agree, the fact that you put "serious relationship" and "requires lots of sex" in the same sentence is contradictory. What's your next line? "You know what would look good on you? Me pumping away like a rabbit...."
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I can't imagine that having a positive effect on me. Talking/texting in advance of a first meeting is only sufficient to weed out mean men and ones who are grossly incompatible. For me, the first meeting is never 'romantic'. We are just strangers meeting for the first time. Agree with the other poster that serious relationship + instant sex talk = BS 2
Author Phantom888 Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 But it isn't sex talk. It's being upfront with your expectations. Everyone has expectations on the 1st date. I guess it depends on the person and who is saying it. But this is no lie. It's not even a come-on. I guess it's the way I say it, which I can't really put into text on this forum.
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I'm all for stating expectations and having an adult conversation about sex... BEFORE you have sex... However, I'm just not a fan of it on a first meeting. Too much too soon for me. Guys might not want to hear this... but no matter how long I've been texting/emailing a guy before meeting... when I actually meet him is when I determine if anything he told me was true. He's still starting from square one in terms of establishing a relationship.... it's just that with OLD, one has to work harder to eliminate the worst of the worst. 2
Assasda Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 If it is said with the right connotation, It could definately work. Its all a matter of how you say things my friend. And if you are an open and honest guy, and thats your reality, women will respond accordingly 1
Leigh 87 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Any talk about sex turns me off on a first or even third date. I am a hypocrite since I slept with me current guy on date two, I know this, but he NEVER mentioned sex once in the month of chatting to him online and in person. I was the sexually charged one that mentioned sex. It turned me on that he DID NOT talk about sex, to be perfectly honest. I would have had the "fight or slight" reaction to him if he brought up sex, as I associate sex with a guy who only thinks I am good for a hook up yet not relationship material (based on my prior experience). 2
lino Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 After my divorce, I met many women on Match, and went on many 1st dates. Most of the time I click with my date because we talk/text for weeks leading up to the 1st date. Usually by the time we meet, we like each other enough "on paper" and discussions have been interesting, and we just want to test the chemistry. I'm in my 30s, so the women I date are usually divorced with children. Most of them come from an unfulfilled marriage. I noticed there is something that I say, which counter-intuitively turns on 99% of them on the 1st date. It turns them on so much that many of them want to have sex with me on the 1st date, which I always decline because it's not my style. This is what I say: "I'm looking for a serious relationship which requires LOTS OF SEX..... this is something that I will not compromise. I need a woman who enjoys sex with me FREQUENTLY." I don't know why these words keep them interested. Later I found that some of these women didn't even want to date me, but only wanted to have sex with me. Keep in mind I'm just an average Asian dude in mid/late 30s who has never been out to impress. I feel like I trigger some sort of sexual switch when I use this line....which I only use for the sake of openness and honesty. I am upfront with what I seek, and I am never interested in casual sex. Question to the ladies: Are there any sort of non-physical presentation on the 1st date that makes you even more interested? Certain things that he says or certain discoveries? I don't think it has anything to do with what you say actually. If a girl desires a bloke, he can say and often do, pretty much anything. Recently, a piece of sh*t in my country was convicted and jailed for raping and killing a 12 year old boy 10 years ago. He had previous child sexual assault charges as well. See if you can guess if he was single or had a girlfriend. 1
iris219 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 It turned me on that he DID NOT talk about sex, to be perfectly honest. I'm the same way. ANY mention of sex early on kills any sexual attraction I might have had for a guy. This is why I liked my FI so much when we first met. He made absolutely so mention of sex in any way, not even indirectly, and I was so appreciative. This is what got me turned on and made me so comfortable around him. I didn't feel like he was just going through the motions (being nice, taking me out) just to get me in bed. I hate when a guy discusses any lewd/sexual topic early on. I had a guy on a first date tell me a story that involved a bachelor party and strippers. I found it completely inappropriate and was very disappointed. I felt myself drying up as he was talking.
clia Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 This is what I say: "I'm looking for a serious relationship which requires LOTS OF SEX..... this is something that I will not compromise. I need a woman who enjoys sex with me FREQUENTLY." I'm your age and this would have totally turned me off. I also don't like men talking about sex on the first date, much less their expectations for how often I'm expected to have it with them. Sorry, but yuck. 2
StanMusial Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I don't doubt this works. On desperate, horny, OLD women who are lonely and pushing 40.
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 This is what I say: "I'm looking for a serious relationship which requires LOTS OF SEX..... this is something that I will not compromise. I need a woman who enjoys sex with me FREQUENTLY."I am a highly sexual woman and that would turn me off big time. There is a time and a place to talk about sex and it's not over a coffee during a first date. Well maybe that impresses the ladies with no experience but in my case I have seen everything and pretty much done everything and you would come across as a little-joe-know-it-all that I cannot be bothered with. *yawn*. What impress me on a first date is a man capable of presenting himself like a gentleman, that has an interesting conversation, and even though I got huge boobs right in front of his face he will keep on looking in my eyes and ignore them.
Author Phantom888 Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 I am a highly sexual woman and that would turn me off big time. There is a time and a place to talk about sex and it's not over a coffee during a first date. Well maybe that impresses the ladies with no experience but in my case I have seen everything and pretty much done everything and you would come across as a little-joe-know-it-all that I cannot be bothered with. *yawn*. What impress me on a first date is a man capable of presenting himself like a gentleman, that has an interesting conversation, and even though I got huge boobs right in front of his face he will keep on looking in my eyes and ignore them. Not to be defensive, but there is not an ounce of sexual perversion when I disclose my expectations. I tell it as it is... as an adult, looking for a serious relationships. All the women I dated were experienced in OLD, so they have seen it all. And by their appearance, they are not desperate. One thing they have in common is that their EXs all have intimacy issues, like they don't enjoy sex. So obviously a woman who was married to a cold fish would jump at the opportunity and possibility to have a serious relationship with a man who enjoys sex. You all assume I say it with a grin or with some creepy look. Yes that would be a turn off, I guarantee. But if you see me as an honest, good fellow who isn't trying to make any moves, but just telling it as it is, it becomes a topic of conversation that adults can discuss. It also helps that I look harmless, and am decent looking. But again, I guess it depends on who I'm talking to, and what mood they are in.
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 One thing they have in common is that their EXs all have intimacy issues, like they don't enjoy sex. So obviously a woman who was married to a cold fish would jump at the opportunity and possibility to have a serious relationship with a man who enjoys sex. Maybe that's the difference between these women and I. I don't need to be in a serious relationship to have great sex. When I meet someone over coffee I am not horny, my body isn't and my mind isn't. I also know that talk is cheap and any man can be sitting in front of me promising me nights and nights of love making when in fact he cannot deliver what he is promising. I am sorry but any woman falling for your cheap talk IS desperate to be bedded. I have learn also that men that brag about sex are often the ones unable to deliver the goods.
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