johnww92 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I started dating my ex a month after she broke up with her other ex because he cheated on her on several occasions. Anyways things went amazing I honestly in all my life never met a girl like her and I'v been dating girls since I was 14, 22 now. Things where great we had all the same interests and got on so well. Anyways about a month or 2 she broke up with me because she wasn't healed from her other ex and wanted to be alone for some time. I was ruined, I got so depressed and couldn't handle it, I tried everything to get her back and nothing worked. Long story short I initiated no contact and did what everyone here would tell me eg. start working out/socializing more/anything to keep busy. I started to feel better about myself but I still missed her every single day and nobody could replace her. Then about few days ago we started talking being cool and she said shes back with her other ex who used to cheat on her and said she just seeing how it goes. I tried explaining to her for her own good its a bad idea and you can't change him but she wouldn't listen. I she said he made mistakes and is a good person. I was destroyed, I have never felt so down in my life, nothing matters to me anymore, I have college tomorrow and have a lot of work to do but I don't care about anything. I'm not suicidal or anything I would never go there ever but I don't feel like living anymore. You will all probably tell me to keep busy and I'll be ok and find someone else etc but I really don't want to do anything anymore, I have no motivation for anything, I just want to stay in my room and not leave and talk to nobody, its not fair I hate this feeling and I know for a fact it will be a long time before I recover.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Could u take a couple of days off college just to get your head straight? x Maybe u could take a couple of days to get your head around it and then set a day that u get back to "normality" x Things will get better I know u hear it all the time, trust me I got sick of listening but u know what everyone was right x time is the greatest healer x
Author johnww92 Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 Could u take a couple of days off college just to get your head straight? x Maybe u could take a couple of days to get your head around it and then set a day that u get back to "normality" x Things will get better I know u hear it all the time, trust me I got sick of listening but u know what everyone was right x time is the greatest healer x I can't I was already out partying since thursday to keep my mind of it so I have to go in. I don't know I know times is but I will never forget her and the thought of her being with such an ******* is killing me.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I know but its still raw x If there is one thing Ive learnt on my journey its that alcohol does NOT help at all!! try and keep a straight head as u can process it all better and its smoother healing x
Author johnww92 Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 I know but its still raw x If there is one thing Ive learnt on my journey its that alcohol does NOT help at all!! try and keep a straight head as u can process it all better and its smoother healing x I know it doesn't, I'll try but I'v never been this depressed in my life I dunno what to do.
Mcnulty Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 No contact for one, exercise, talk it out with friends/family, acknowledge your pain, it's relevant and normal to feel so crap at the mo. Try some flaxseed, grind it down with yoghurt, 5HTP, a natural remedy for low mood...sod it im gonna say it, don't go on anti depressants or see your GP, they're a landmine waiting to explode...(disclaimer) just in my experience. You're young and so much is going to happen, so much growth over the next few years...shape your destiny and personality by making the right choices for you now...you're gonna be ok, I guarantee.
Author johnww92 Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 I'll try keep this short as I'm not writing this to get my ex back because I finally accepted the harsh reality that I'm never getting her back. Ok so my ex girl dumped me out of the blue at the end of January then she decided to give it another go and ended it properly in February because she said she lost feelings and wouldn't give me a proper explanation but part of it was she thought I took life as a joke and she couldn't talk to me about stuff which is not true. For the next few weeks I took the wrong approached and begged and begged and pleaded my love for her etc and eventually she stopped replying and I kept messaging her. I eventually apologized and went no contact. Few weeks ago I find out shes gone back with her other ex who treated her like crap and that is killing me. Anyways to get to the point I have been 1 month no contact and I don't feel any better. I have never been so empty and depressed in my life, I think about her every day and when I don't think about her I just feel lonely in general. Like I have a lot of friends and friends that I can trust and talk to about this, they all tell me I will get better but I don't see it happening. I socialize a lot and have fun and even tried working out/buying new cloths/giving myself a fresh look but at the end of the day I still feel lonely and I hate this feeling. This feeling is horrible I can't describe it, its like there's something important missing in my life and I can't be happy without it. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I go to college go home go online or hang out then go party at the weekends and that's the highlight of my life and I don't like it. I was great before this girl but now its like she jumped in my head and messed everything up for me. If anybody went through the same thing could you please give some advice? I really don't want to feel this way anymore.
picnicinthepark Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Hey John take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay. There is no such thing as "out of the blue". Chances are your ex was thinking about it for some time and she wasn't able to communicate with you. She figured she could fix things on her own but when things got rough she got out of there. Again I have no idea about your relationship but I know that communication is the major downfall in most (including my own). I was laid off in the fall and this hit me pretty hard. I wasn't myself and my ex (almost 5 year relationship) and I didn't communicate our issues. She fell out of love and left me in January too. I moved out of our apartment, no job, I had nothing. I was a wreck just like you. I did not beg or plead however (this will only push her away). NC is the best thing for you to move on. I have no idea what my ex is up to. Sure I've had slips every now and then but you will learn that its not worth starting from square one again. I blocked her from all social media and haven't looked back. You are taking the right steps in improving yourself. I know it will seem like you are talking your friend's and family's ears off but they are there to support you. I still think about her everyday too but its not as painful as it once was. I have moments of loneliness too but you have to realize that you can do something about it. Try not to party so much. Find a new hobby and meet new people. Start working out or running. You'll look and feel better. This is your chance to reinvent yourself and be truly happy. Your happiness does not depend on her. You don't want to be with someone who runs when things get difficult. You deserve someone who will love you and fight for you. You are worth so much more! Hang in there buddy. Chin up. I promise you everything is going to be okay and you're going to have the best life! P.S. I've since gotten my old job back with a raise and promotion. I have a better idea of where I want to take my career and I'm in the best shape of my life. A relationship is the last thing on my mind. However I've met many new people and have made many new friends. I'm not 100% yet but things are better and I'm confident things will get better for you too! Edited April 9, 2014 by picnicinthepark 2
kura1977 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Hey bud, I have no words of advice for you, just wanted to say I know precisely how you're feeling. Especially when you said things were great before your girl, then she jumped into your head and messed everything up for you. I split with my girl 3 years ago, we remained friends but at this point we're not even that anymore, I'm currently in the best shape of my life and have more cash in the bank than I've ever had, yet I don't care because I just can't stop thinking about her. She's in my head and won't leave. I don't even know if I'm still into her, I just can't get over the memories. I'm considering hypnotherapy to try and get over her, I don't know if it works like that, I'll try anything at this point though. Anyway, I have no idea how you're coping nowadays, but if times are still tough, well, at least you know you're not alone.
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