LostConfused123 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Haven't seen him, haven't heard from him, no social media stalking, NOTHING! I feel like I should be over this. I thought I was feeling so much better the last few weeks. I woke up REALLY sad today. Missing him and almost panicked that I most likely will never speak to him or see him again in this lifetime. UGH! I thought I was passed this. Just a rant I guess. Feeling awful. My heart goes out to everyone feeling the same on this horrific journey.
ravheartless Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Haven't seen him, haven't heard from him, no social media stalking, NOTHING! I feel like I should be over this. I thought I was feeling so much better the last few weeks. I woke up REALLY sad today. Missing him and almost panicked that I most likely will never speak to him or see him again in this lifetime. UGH! I thought I was passed this. Just a rant I guess. Feeling awful. My heart goes out to everyone feeling the same on this horrific journey. Stick with NC, my ex gf broke off with me after a 3 year relationship. We had a break for 6 month and I worked really hard to impress her during this period. We got back together but then she dump me again after 2 weeks and I never looked back. Totally not worth it. 1
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 Stick with NC, my ex gf broke off with me after a 3 year relationship. We had a break for 6 month and I worked really hard to impress her during this period. We got back together but then she dump me again after 2 weeks and I never looked back. Totally not worth it. First of all, thank you for replying and sorry for your pain as well. Yeah, NC is pretty easy for me, meaning we live about forty five minutes apart, no mutual friends, he doesn't use Facebook (thank God!) the chances of ever running into each other are highly unlikely. He said we couldn't remain friends because it's "already out there" I'm the dumpee. He's actually doing me a huge favor (the no friends thing) and staying away and letting me heal. Hopefully in another 5 months, I'll be indifferent. Although, that's so hard to imagine. Thanks again and best of luck! 2
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Hang in there! You are doing SOOO great! It's a lot of work staying NC for 5 months and you are so strong for doing so. It's a huge bonus having an ex who respects you and keeps their distance so you can heal. It shows maturity from both sides. 1
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 Hang in there! You are doing SOOO great! It's a lot of work staying NC for 5 months and you are so strong for doing so. It's a huge bonus having an ex who respects you and keeps their distance so you can heal. It shows maturity from both sides. Cotton!!!! I accidentally deleted your number. Text me!!! Been thinking about you
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 Well I was hoping I was.just having a bad morning but it hasn't passed. I can't stop crying. I hate this! I really can't believe I'm feeling so tore up after 5 months. Don't mean to sound like a whiner. I just really thought I would be past this by now.
Itspointless Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Well I was hoping I was.just having a bad morning but it hasn't passed. I can't stop crying. I hate this! I really can't believe I'm feeling so tore up after 5 months. Don't mean to sound like a whiner. I just really thought I would be past this by now. Do not hate the fact that you are human. It is natural to sometimes think back to certain periods of your life and feel emoted. Not because you want those moments back, but because you remember them for what they were. Life is a constant letting go: letting go of moments, letting go of people and letting go of yourself as you knew yourself. Despite this it are the memories that define us for who we are. 3
StGeorge22 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Hang in there! As someone who recently broke NC, I wouldn't recommend it. Found out she has moved on, which has put me back to day one. You have come so far. Call a friend or keep venting here and rest assured there are others feeling the same 1
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 Hang in there! As someone who recently broke NC, I wouldn't recommend it. Found out she has moved on, which has put me back to day one. You have come so far. Call a friend or keep venting here and rest assured there are others feeling the same Thank you for your support. I'm sorry you are hurting too. I'm actually terrified to break NC. The thought of him not replying, or worse, replying with something I don't want to hear, stops me. I just miss him so much today. The reality is really sinking in
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Well I was hoping I was.just having a bad morning but it hasn't passed. I can't stop crying. I hate this! I really can't believe I'm feeling so tore up after 5 months. Don't mean to sound like a whiner. I just really thought I would be past this by now. Look. You're done when you're done. There is no time limit. You can't beat yourself up for hitting a milestone and not being at some place you feel like you should be (or others tell you, you should be). I'm here to tell ya I am at 1 year and I still have bad days. Often... It's not a linear process. Up, down, up and down again... If you're like me, you were in quite deep with your ex. And that isn't something that goes away quickly or easily. All you can do is keep on keepin' on 2
yorkie Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 if this helps at all im 7 months limited contact cos we have kids and we are both in new relationships and bloody hell its hard i hate her for leaving me, but i still think about her an awful lot does your head in i know but what else can you do? sad but true its time to move on! sorry 1
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 I think it may be this time of year. Last spring I was so happy. I remember planting flowers in my yard. in this part of the country there are certain flowers that are meant just for spring. Anyway, last year my yard looked like a rainbow. It seemed so appropriate to be falling in love this time of year. Everything seems so new and bright. I could hear the chirping of the baby birds (annoying to some but I loved it ) I think part of me knew he would leave one day because I remember closing my eyes and really feeling the moment with every one of my senses. Anyway, I have the day off today and was planning on working in my yard and planting more flowers. I guess I'll just toughen up and do it. If I cry, so be it. I just want to enjoy the simple things again. I had another dream about him. That hasn't happened in a long time. He was walking away from me and my teeth were breaking off and falling out. WTF????? hahaha!!! I'm losing it! LOL!!! Maybe a day outside with nature is EXACTLY what I need. Thanks everyone for all your support! Love you guys! Oh, this is IMPORTANT!!! to the new comers, don't want to scare you! I DO have good days too. It's not always like this and it does get easier with time. I think the monthly "anniversary" makes triggers amplified. Hang in there! 2
btvdts Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 It really sucks and as bad as this sounds, Its nice to hear I'm not the only out there. It's been five months for me as well. No stalking or anything, and of course no contact. I am also terrified to break NC. I know someday we all here will be indifferent, but I think that's what saddens me the most, that someday my feelings will be gone, even though that's exactly what will let me go and make me happy once more. Hang in there! we have gone so far! 1
Itspointless Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I think that's what saddens me the most, that someday my feelings will be gone, even though that's exactly what will let me go and make me happy once more. I exactly have the same. I feel I am getting closer to that point and that should be a relieve. 1
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 I exactly have the same. I feel I am getting closer to that point and that should be a relieve. I sometimes wish I felt relief. Sadly, I don't think I ever will. He was very good to me. Not in a materialistic way. I could care less about that stuff. But in a way that was much deeper and emotional. We were truly friends. I really miss his friendship. There was no fighting, cheating, lying, abuse. None of that. It was "perfect" Well, up until he ended it and crushed my heart. But it's so hard to be mad at him. He didn't want to hurt me. For whatever reason he wanted something different I guess. He has every right to live the happiest life possible. I really wish him all the best and I'm positive he feels the same about me. Anyway, getting off topic but when things end so "nicely" it makes me wonder just how long this will hurt. I have no memories of him being anything but respectful and nice. Nothing to look back on and say "that SOB, I'm so much better off without him" I guess part of me will always love him and maybe that's okay. I really truly hope he's being treated as well as I would have treated him. Even though it hurts that it can't be me making him happy
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I sometimes wish I felt relief. Sadly, I don't think I ever will. He was very good to me. Not in a materialistic way. I could care less about that stuff. But in a way that was much deeper and emotional. We were truly friends. I really miss his friendship. There was no fighting, cheating, lying, abuse. None of that. It was "perfect" Well, up until he ended it and crushed my heart. But it's so hard to be mad at him. He didn't want to hurt me. For whatever reason he wanted something different I guess. He has every right to live the happiest life possible. I really wish him all the best and I'm positive he feels the same about me. Anyway, getting off topic but when things end so "nicely" it makes me wonder just how long this will hurt. I have no memories of him being anything but respectful and nice. Nothing to look back on and say "that SOB, I'm so much better off without him" I guess part of me will always love him and maybe that's okay. I really truly hope he's being treated as well as I would have treated him. Even though it hurts that it can't be me making him happy You have him on a pedestal. With some more time you will see how he was not right for you. I was the same way in the beginning. Now I understand much more... 1
Allumere Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 No magic formula or timeline. Was dumped in November and the first thing I do when I wake up is cry and its the last thing I do before I fall asleep. I think it is easier when you can get pissed off about something in the breakup, anger can be a solid motivator of "enough is enough, time to move on" 2
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 You have him on a pedestal. With some more time you will see how he was not right for you. I was the same way in the beginning. Now I understand much more... My God, you're right. I'm talking about him like he's some sort of immortal being of goodness and light..... LOL! Maybe it's time he and I switched places on the pedestal.
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 No magic formula or timeline. Was dumped in November and the first thing I do when I wake up is cry and its the last thing I do before I fall asleep. I think it is easier when you can get pissed off about something in the breakup, anger can be a solid motivator of "enough is enough, time to move on" I agree. I almost wish he did something truly horrific just to piss me off!!! All joking aside, I'm truly sorry you're in so much pain too. ((hugs!!)) Love blows!!!
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My God, you're right. I'm talking about him like he's some sort of immortal being of goodness and light..... LOL! Maybe it's time he and I switched places on the pedestal. I'm guessing you have some self-esteem and self-worth issues... These issues tend to put others on pedestals while at the same time shredding your own worth and value. Now would be a great time to look into this. If you don't address this stuff, you can expect similar situations in the future!! 1
Author LostConfused123 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 I'm guessing you have some self-esteem and self-worth issues... These issues tend to put others on pedestals while at the same time shredding your own worth and value. Now would be a great time to look into this. If you don't address this stuff, you can expect similar situations in the future!! I was actually thinking the same thing. My self esteem is definitely in the toilet. The thing is, it really shouldn't be. I mean logically it should be pretty high. This may be more about my shattered ego than I even realized.
P1nginLOVE Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Well I was hoping I was.just having a bad morning but it hasn't passed. I can't stop crying. I hate this! I really can't believe I'm feeling so tore up after 5 months. Don't mean to sound like a whiner. I just really thought I would be past this by now. Me too... Been in a roller coaster ride... Been with him in July...Left him in July... NC for a month. Got together in September. Left him in Oct...back again in November. Left him in Jan...2 months ago...NC for 6 weeks... and since then to now...I emailed him less than 10x. He replied of course... Now...been NC for 2 days...it feels like hell. Want to email/text/phone him so bad... #sigh# Crying as I fall to sleep...thinking of him as I open my eyes. Why??? 1
Itspointless Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) I have no memories of him being anything but respectful and nice. Nothing to look back on and say "that SOB, I'm so much better off without him" Well today I feel more somber then yesterday. What you write is the problem. With me she was gone - due to her health problems and stress - at the moment I started believe she really was true. I almost only have good memories, and the way we connected, I never experienced that. She told me this was all new for her too. I had not seen her six weeks (ldr). The last time she gave her keys, the visit after that I could give them back. When she ended it the woman I knew was not really there. She acknowledged that she suppressed her feelings and gave me a lot of could be's.The few times she contacted me she still was distant and short. Also the fact that she does not want me help her in a hard time and her promises to her family to move a couple of thousands kilometres does not help. It was everything I had not to be afraid off. She made me believe in love again if you could believe that. She told me 'life is like that', jeez really ... I know that when I think to much about her I get depressed and she still is on my mind a lot. Time makes it all too definite. Edit: with that last remark - of a later time - she meant that we can wish for things but life has it own ways, she unlearned herself to wish things: life is like that, we have to accept what happens and be happy (something that feels to forced for me). The username I use here stems from the feeling I got talking to her and seeing her. Edited March 20, 2014 by Itspointless 1
Itspointless Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 And you know, missing her becomes a normalized thing (life is like that ). Just another fact I have to learn to live with. 2
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