btvdts Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 so some of you may know my story... Got dumped 5 months ago out of the blue...I took it really hard due to the fact that I was about to propose to her...and the fact that she has two little girls who I loved and still care dearly for till this day(I have no contact with them). Well the other day I met this girl who was really amazing...problem is she has kids as well. when I found out of course the feeling of the pain I felt losing those two girls flooded back. so now I feel like I can't go through that again. I know this new girl isn't the same person as my ex but I just feel like I can't risk being hurt like that again... so my question is that wrong of to not want to further with this girl because of the kids?
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 so some of you may know my story... Got dumped 5 months ago out of the blue...I took it really hard due to the fact that I was about to propose to her...and the fact that she has two little girls who I loved and still care dearly for till this day(I have no contact with them). Well the other day I met this girl who was really amazing...problem is she has kids as well. when I found out of course the feeling of the pain I felt losing those two girls flooded back. so now I feel like I can't go through that again. I know this new girl isn't the same person as my ex but I just feel like I can't risk being hurt like that again... so my question is that wrong of to not want to further with this girl because of the kids? No. It's just too soon for you. I'm at 1 year, and I'm not ready either. Give it more time and I believe you will eventually be ready again, as will I
SammySammy Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 No, it's not wrong at all. Many people avoid relationships with people with children for that very reason.
Tayla Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 There is a middle road solution, be upfront with her ( the new gal), and share your hestitation. You'd be surprised on how folks can adjust to honesty and work towards a resolution that maintains the relationship. There is no hurry to the alter, so keep it light.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 You're not damaged you're awake, and it's a good thing you're not prepared to be fooled again. It's good that you don't give yourself away so easily, I too am taking this direction. Nothing left to lose hehe.
StringsAttached Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 This is just me but perhaps you're attracted to women in need? I'm not saying that single mothers should be avoided at all costs but clearly you're asking why you choose to date women with children right? Maybe try dating single women for a while and see if that gives you a different perspective. You're subconscious is telling you to avoid women who have children because you became overly-attached to them. Nothing lasts forever. It's one thing to have to endure the loss of a breakup but when you factor in kids it's a whole different ball game. Good luck, feel it out with her because no two relationships/people are alike. Just don't make the same mistake twice for the sake of your sanity.
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