Connorjaay Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 (edited) This girl I was seeing for a few months missed me after a day, remembered everything she could about me right down to my height, told me she needed me, told me how great my kisses are and she basically really really liked me. The short version is she lost feelings and she doesn't know why. She said that I am more than good enough for her and she's also cried over this because she doesn't know what changed. She recently got in touch when we were both drunk and she said she still cares about me and our situation has made her the saddest she has been in a situation with a boy. She started being distant shortly after she found out I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend. Another potential reason is she recently got kissed by her ex at a party (about after a month after we split) and her story is she pulled away and left. Although she did leave shortly after, I've heard she initiated another kiss with him. She knows that he wants to use her and her friends say she's stupid. I think they're seeing each other again and it's killing me because I know she'll get hurt! She also has very bad social anxiety. I don't know how much it ties in but she's never had a proper relationship and her friend said to me this is probably why she pushed away from me. She still cares about me and because of her social anxiety she said I was te first ever person she was 100% comfortable with.. What do I do? I think I love her! I've seen the best and worst of her and still want to be with her.. She has said that she doesn't like me in the way she used to, and she has also stuck with her not knowing what changed her mind. I want to believe her but after the things she did and said I can't just let it all go. She was really into me. It just went all weird after she found out I wanted her to be my girlfriend. And if what she says is true and she's comfortable around me like nobody else, shouldn't that mean something? We haven't had contact in just over a month apart from when she texted me when I was at a house party and she was also drunk. She basically told me everything she did before and kept telling me to go get water and go to bed. She then confirmed the whole comfortable thing again and then we just talked about random things like we used to. I had a little go at her by asking why she says she cares but doesn't talk to me. I know she has very bad social anxiety and we see each other round about and she seems to be getting better around me. I think she's back texting (even seeingg) her ex and all he wants is sex. Her and all her friends now this but she's still going ahead with it! My guess is she'll come back to me after it falls apart and although I want to be with her, I don't want to be the rebound. Can someone help sole this puzzle? What changed her mind?? Edited March 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Interesting that both times she's opened up to you, she's been drunk. I still can't decide whether that's a good thing ('in vino veritas') or a bad thing ('drunken talk is pointless talk').... I'm erring on the latter, to be honest. Frankly, as you're getting so little contact from her when she's sober, I'd go no Contact and put her in the 'flaky' pile..... 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 She doesnt know what she wants babe... Ive been there, she likes u a lot but she's hung up elsewhere... u need to back off and let her come to u.. xx
Author Connorjaay Posted March 16, 2014 Author Posted March 16, 2014 The last time I got in contact was around 3 or 4 weeks ago and that was me telling her how I really felt (I never used to say much). I said I think I might love her. I also said a bunch of stuff saying I would wait for her as she's worth it and I'd help her through her social anxiety. I finished by saying id be there for her if she needed me. Since then I've gone no contact. She thought I hated her because she knew she hurt me. I acted as if nothing happened and I'm still doing that in public. She used to say to me how happy I always was so I decided to keep that going. She did hurt me. Only because of te contrast of feelings. Missing me after a day to... Nothing. What do I do say she gets back in touch?
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Nothing. you don't respond, react, reply, or be open to any kind, form or type of dialogue at all. Period. What are you, a sucker for punishment?? Go No Contact and stay like that!
carhill Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 How does a girl just lose feelings? "This girl I was seeing for a few months " For her, limerence ended and there was nothing to replace it or had grown within it so feelings were gone. This can happen to anyone, at any time, regardless of relationship status. You did mention inhibition about being a 'rebound'. That's a feeling. Fear of being used as a rebound. That's a valid feeling. Had you not had this specific experience, you might not have had that fear. It's really good information. Hopefully it can help you connect the dots, for you, regarding your own feelings regarding this young lady. Accepting her loss of feelings as valid and respecting your fear of being a rebound can impel action. What that action turns out to be is completely under your control. Good luck!
BradJacobs Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 People are allowed to change their minds. Hopefully you change yours as it concerns her and move on.
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