inayaah Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I've decided to exit an extremely unhealthy and tiring relationship, and I hope my sentiments will support me in this. So, I've been in a relationship since September. We started talking in May. What started off as an extremely passionate relationship, it's just become mentally draining. The problem is/was, the guy is a liar. He has lied to me about his ex girlfriend. He mentioned her as a friend. She would text him when we getting to know one another (may/june/july), wanting to meet him, and expressed her feelings etc. Around Christmas time, he confessed they had dated last year and he ended the relationship, and her texting him in the summer was her wanting a reconciliation. He would never mention his plans with friends (before/after). I found that odd. It felt to me as he deliberately kept them a secret from me, and he'd mention them outings weeks after they'd occur. We had a huge argument after I found out about the ex situation and he vowed to keep me in the loop about everything as I mentioned the above issue too. He resorted to telling me where he went, what time he'd be home etc. The times when he didn't, and I called/text, he would be unresponsive and later say, he didn't respond because he was with friends. He wouldn't communicate with me when he was at his sisters. He'd go to his sisters city for client meetings every fortnight, and this resulted in him staying over for a night or two. His excuse for being outta contact during his stay there would be, 'I don't like speaking on the phone infront of people', 'I enjoy spending time with my nephew so I don't get a chance to call you', and 'My nephew had my phone so I couldn't answer or text you'. These issues have been consistent and I've tried to talk it out, compromise, leave etc but he's always managed to change my mind. On Friday I was a little disheartened by a family issue, and upon discussing it with him, he started to laugh and not take me seriously. I ended the conversation with him, and went home. He called me, and I asked him to leave me alone as I was offended, so I ignored his 2 calls. Yesterday he made no contact with me. I called him last night and he said he avoided me deliberately because I ignored his calls. We talked and I told him how I felt about our relationship and wanted to leave. He accused me of wasting his time and investments etc. Today he messaged me on whatsapp after I missed his call. It was a civil and brief conversation. He told me he was taking his mother shopping and would call me to arrange a time we could go out and talk about our issues. 4 hours later he messaged me saying he was going for a milkshake with a friend. That is the straw that broke the camels back. I responded over whatsapp (would have called but I knew he wouldn't answer), telling him I was tired of the relationship and had enough. He was getting blocked and he'd never changed. I blocked him and did notice he had read my messages and has been active on there since then. He has made no attempt to call me, or text me. These issues may seem miniscule to others, but they've made me feel worthless and insecure about myself. I guess NO CONTACT will work for me.
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 You've made the best decision all round, and I think you're determined and damn right to be, too. Good for you. he sounds like a flake, and you're well rid of him. Take a deep breath, whoosh it out, and phukkim.
sooshi Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Sounds like you made the best decision for yourself. He doesn't sound committed and lacks integrity. If he really cared, he would have met up with you to discuss the issues in your relationship rather than have a milkshake with a friend. He showed you what his priorities were. You made the right choice.
saltyfishhead666 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I've decided to exit an extremely unhealthy and tiring relationship, and I hope my sentiments will support me in this. So, I've been in a relationship since September. We started talking in May. What started off as an extremely passionate relationship, it's just become mentally draining. The problem is/was, the guy is a liar. He has lied to me about his ex girlfriend. He mentioned her as a friend. She would text him when we getting to know one another (may/june/july), wanting to meet him, and expressed her feelings etc. Around Christmas time, he confessed they had dated last year and he ended the relationship, and her texting him in the summer was her wanting a reconciliation. He would never mention his plans with friends (before/after). I found that odd. It felt to me as he deliberately kept them a secret from me, and he'd mention them outings weeks after they'd occur. We had a huge argument after I found out about the ex situation and he vowed to keep me in the loop about everything as I mentioned the above issue too. He resorted to telling me where he went, what time he'd be home etc. The times when he didn't, and I called/text, he would be unresponsive and later say, he didn't respond because he was with friends. He wouldn't communicate with me when he was at his sisters. He'd go to his sisters city for client meetings every fortnight, and this resulted in him staying over for a night or two. His excuse for being outta contact during his stay there would be, 'I don't like speaking on the phone infront of people', 'I enjoy spending time with my nephew so I don't get a chance to call you', and 'My nephew had my phone so I couldn't answer or text you'. These issues have been consistent and I've tried to talk it out, compromise, leave etc but he's always managed to change my mind. On Friday I was a little disheartened by a family issue, and upon discussing it with him, he started to laugh and not take me seriously. I ended the conversation with him, and went home. He called me, and I asked him to leave me alone as I was offended, so I ignored his 2 calls. Yesterday he made no contact with me. I called him last night and he said he avoided me deliberately because I ignored his calls. We talked and I told him how I felt about our relationship and wanted to leave. He accused me of wasting his time and investments etc. Today he messaged me on whatsapp after I missed his call. It was a civil and brief conversation. He told me he was taking his mother shopping and would call me to arrange a time we could go out and talk about our issues. 4 hours later he messaged me saying he was going for a milkshake with a friend. That is the straw that broke the camels back. I responded over whatsapp (would have called but I knew he wouldn't answer), telling him I was tired of the relationship and had enough. He was getting blocked and he'd never changed. I blocked him and did notice he had read my messages and has been active on there since then. He has made no attempt to call me, or text me. These issues may seem miniscule to others, but they've made me feel worthless and insecure about myself. I guess NO CONTACT will work for me. No contact is definitely best for you. No one needs a man that you don't trust. I've been in your position and been sat in bed at night thinking I wonder what he's doing, if he's actually doing what he says he is or it's another lie. You are better finding someone who knows how to tell the truth and you not have to be concerned. He sounds like a selfish dumbass to me.
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