Met a girl who I'm getting mixed messages from that I don't know hot to interpret

[clintoni]

I met this girl at a bar last week. She seemed attracted to me and we had an interesting, though intense conversation. I got her number and she agreed to go out with me. I texted her a couple of times to iron out the details. She usually began the texts with lets keep it casual but then would say things like how she'd like to get to know me, ask me a lot of questions about my last relationship, why I haven't dated since then, and offered me the same information about herself with a lot of winky faces and smiley faces, and sent me pictures of herself and her daughter. Anyway, date night comes around, and two hours before she says she's really tired and basically said she doesn't want to go out that night.

 

That was Friday. I haven't contacted her since. I found her interesting and attractive and would like to get to know her better, but I'm not sure if this is one of those instances where you should be carefully persistent or if I should just write this off. If I should pursue this further, how should I proceed?

[HappyLove]

HUGE RED FLAG! It's so rude to cancel not only the day of the date but 2 hours before? Then didn't have a follow up date?

 

Nothing good usually comes of this. I'd move on.

Edited March 16, 2014 by HappyLove

[Hello_is_it_me]

Yeah. Cancelling right before a first date is a deal-breaker for me. Not only rude but sets a terrible early precedent. The only way i'd even consider anything else with this one is if she went out of her way to make it up to you. Chances are she won't. Move on!

[clintoni]

Yea, I feel like it's a bit rude as well. That said, she does have a four year old so it could be a very legitimate excuse. I got out of a six year relationship two months ago, and while I've met some nice women here and there from time to time this one is the first one since I've actually been interested in getting to know better. I'm cool keeping it casual -- I'm not looking for a girlfriend or anything, but I'd like to know if there might be something there.

 

But it seems like you guys are saying if she doesn't get back in touch she's probably not interested, right? If that's really the case then so be it. But on TV "persistence" seems to be a valued quality. On the off chance that she might be interested, I'm wondering if that TV lesson applies in real life as well.

 

Or is the best line of action to let it go either way?

[Poppyolive]

my opinion....things come up and sometimes you have to cancel. Id leave it in her court to organize the next meet....I wouldn't go putting all your eggs in one basket....you are recently out of a long relationship, sit back and enjoy what unfolds.

 

Another thing you haven't gone on a date with her yet..id lay off all the unveiling of past relationship stuff....focus on fun times, getting to know one another....its never good hearing about failed, past, hurt...whatever relationships....its about the two of you....

 

remember no#1 Fun!!

[clintoni]

Yea, definitely don't want to lay all my eggs in one basket. And I don't intend to -- not because of one time at a bar and a few text messages. All I'm saying at this point is I'd like to get to know her. If that's not viable, oh well.

 

She actually brought this stuff up. We were both pretty drunk at the bar, and she told me about her abusive ex. I, in my inebriated state, spilled some of the details about my past relationship. Not much beyond what I've said here, though. She then asked me what the dating scene has been like for me since I broke up, and told me about her exes etc. She's been fairly forward about the whole thing, which is a bit strong, but whatever. But when she's asking me those questions, I don't really know what to say other than being honest.