Men, Do The Married/Separated/Cheating Turns You Off From Marriage?

[topaMAXX]

I'm talking about the sub-forums on this forum. For some reason, the "forum" was blocked out in my title.

 

I'm a young-ish guy that would one day like to get married.

 

However, just reading those forums disgusts me and turns me off to the idea of marriage. There, you have mostly guys that have been married for a number of years talk about how their wife randomly started cheating after 15 years of marriage and is now trying to take his children away.

 

Very depressing.

 

They talk about how her behavior changed and how she is no longer the person they thought she was.

 

Now, after dating and being in some relationships, I've seen this firsthand. A woman's attraction is very volatile and she could lose attraction for you at any moment for just about anything. Once she does lose the attraction, she becomes angry and nasty, will not care about your feelings, and may go out of her way to hurt you.

 

Of course, not all women are like this. A few that I've dated have not done this, but most have.

 

Now, I'm wondering.....have the guys on here had similar experiences to me? Do you want marriage, but then get discouraged by the stories from other men? Have you experienced what I've experienced in relationships?

[StumpyNB]

I am one of those guys. I have no interest in ever getting married again.

 

PS - Been dating a great girl for over a year now, she feels the same.

[Grumpybutfun]

I have been happily and successfully married for twenty years. No drama. I married a woman with kindness, sense and compassion who truly knows that love isn't something you fall in and out of and who knows that the grass is greener right where she stands. Sex is great, kids are great and I wouldn't be single without her for a single second. There are other stories of successful unions and LTRs, unfortunately on here, you don't get to see them, but think of your own grandparents or parents or aunts or teachers and you will see very happy men and women cohabitating without even entertaining the idea of cheating. Communication, transparency and strong ethical and moral values contribute to having a good women and a good marriage so make sure you spend some time on your spiritual self so you can attract someone similar.

If you don't want to marry, make sure it is really about not wanting to and not guided by fear of the past or of others failures.

Drama free since well, always,

Grumps

[carhill]

I view online forums as an extension of the real life discussions which go on every day in one's wider social circles. Some people enjoy wonderful marriages, others so-so, others put on a good face, others whoa, others abuse, others infidelity, others divorce, etc, etc.

 

In online discussion, just like in real life, IME anyway, controversy and drama gets more attention than harmony and peace. Hence what seems to be popular here is no surprise.

 

People are people and we're all unique and are changing constantly throughout our lives. If anything, such discussions underscore that.

 

As I told the last lady I dated, now a bit over four years ago, I enjoyed being married, even though it didn't work out, and would enjoy being married again someday. Lots of life, experience and change since last uttering that statement, including the results of discussions on venues like this, as well as in real life. YMMV.

[thefooloftheyear]

Ill follow the last two posts as another veteran...

 

Its hard to have a lot of faith in something that statistically has worse odds than a coin flip, but then again, that doesnt mean it should deter you...

 

Its a great thing, imo...But you better be real careful to weed ANYTHING out that looks obvious.Its never going to be perfect so forget about that...Looks are great and all guys are very attracted to a good looking woman...but looks fade for all of us and some worse than others...Pay more attention to the other aspects such as compatibility, intelligence, work ethic..etc..

 

And dont let anyone tell you opposite's attract, because that only works with magnets....

 

Good Luck

 

TFY