billystalented Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 So here's the story. I'll make it as short as possible: I met this guy a couple months ago through some mutual friends. They had wanted to set us up for awhile, and it finally happened in January. We all went back to his place and hung out, and him and I hit it off really well. Later that month, our mutual friend had a birthday party and we were all at her house and we had all had a little too much to drink. We were playing truth or dare, and this guy and I were dared to kiss....and when we did it was electric. The rest of the night was spent wandering the halls, making out like we were a couple of high schooler's. In our drunken state, we were telling each other how this never happens, how we never just hook up with someone and that we wanted to take it slow. (I know this is true for him, because our mutual friend confirmed it....he's no player) When we went to bed, we did end up having sex and it was amazing. The next morning when we woke up, I had to work and he made sure he had my number and told me that he's not in this for a one night stand and showered me with compliments. He texted me for the rest of the day, and everyday on out up until this past week when he ended it. I know we shouldn't have slept together so soon, but it felt right and there was no guilt the next morning. He asked me on a date later that week, and he took me out to a nice restaurant and told me that he really likes me and wants to continue seeing me, but that we need to take it slowly. I agreed with him completely. For the last month, things have been amazing. We would spend 2-3 nights a week together (one of those nights being an over night) and we would go out on dates. He held my hand and kissed me in public, came to my rescue when my car wouldn't start. There were absolutely no red flags this entire time--he had told his family all about me (he's from Scotland, so he skypes with them all the time) and even his Grandmother knew about me. He told all his friends about me as well, and I even met a few of them. He texted me everyday. The entire time we were together, whenever he saw our mutual friends he would GUSH to them about me...literally 6 days before he broke up with me, he told them that he could see us being in a long term relationship. He was making plans for the future as well (things like concerts that were a couple of months away) Things were progressing fast (at times I'll admit, faster than I wanted, and I should have said something) and that may have been our biggest downfall. Then last Saturday we took a day trip to a park, and he was grumpy out of the blue. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he was just tired and everything was fine. He later sincerely apologized to me that night and kissed me, so I just took it as an off day. I met another one of his friends that night as well! We had spent Friday night, all day Saturday (Saturday night as well) and he napped at my house until early Sunday afternoon. It was his bday weekend, so all of this stuff had been planned in advance and I asked him if he wanted me to stay the whole weekend, and he told me he did. On Monday, (his actual bday) I wished him happy birthday, and then I didn't hear from him the rest of the day. I figured it was because he was out doing b-day stuff with his friends ( I couldn't go because I had to work) so I left him alone. The next day, he texted me saying he wanted to bail on our plans we had made, and I got upset. (In retrospect, I should have let him go--he had never bailed on our plans before) and he sent me a text saying he knows it was a dick move, but he was going to go anyways. I tried calling him with no answer, so after my lunch break at work was over, i sent him a text about how my last relationship I was always bailed on and I didn't appreciate it (big mistake, I know) and he sent me a text back instantly saying we rushed this. I called him, and he told me he didn't want a relationship, and that he had just got caught up in all the excitement of it. He told me that there were feelings for me, but he just didn't want the relationship with me. EVER. (That was the worst part to hear--especially considering how well I thought it was going) He told me he was living with his ex 7 months ago, and that she just up and left him with no explanation. (something he failed to tell me-- I was under the impression they were broken up for a year. The mutual friend had told me that he hated her guts for it) That's it. I didn't freak out, I was just SO stunned by it all. We just said goodbye on the phone and I haven't heard a thing from him in four days. I'm sorry this is so long, but I need some advice. What happened? Was I just some kind of rebound? He said he thought things were going great but then just realized a couple days before he broke up with me that he didn't want it. Will he ever come back if I just give him his space? Everyone who met him has said that his feelings were genuine!
saltyfishhead666 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 So here's the story. I'll make it as short as possible: I met this guy a couple months ago through some mutual friends. They had wanted to set us up for awhile, and it finally happened in January. We all went back to his place and hung out, and him and I hit it off really well. Later that month, our mutual friend had a birthday party and we were all at her house and we had all had a little too much to drink. We were playing truth or dare, and this guy and I were dared to kiss....and when we did it was electric. The rest of the night was spent wandering the halls, making out like we were a couple of high schooler's. In our drunken state, we were telling each other how this never happens, how we never just hook up with someone and that we wanted to take it slow. (I know this is true for him, because our mutual friend confirmed it....he's no player) When we went to bed, we did end up having sex and it was amazing. The next morning when we woke up, I had to work and he made sure he had my number and told me that he's not in this for a one night stand and showered me with compliments. He texted me for the rest of the day, and everyday on out up until this past week when he ended it. I know we shouldn't have slept together so soon, but it felt right and there was no guilt the next morning. He asked me on a date later that week, and he took me out to a nice restaurant and told me that he really likes me and wants to continue seeing me, but that we need to take it slowly. I agreed with him completely. For the last month, things have been amazing. We would spend 2-3 nights a week together (one of those nights being an over night) and we would go out on dates. He held my hand and kissed me in public, came to my rescue when my car wouldn't start. There were absolutely no red flags this entire time--he had told his family all about me (he's from Scotland, so he skypes with them all the time) and even his Grandmother knew about me. He told all his friends about me as well, and I even met a few of them. He texted me everyday. The entire time we were together, whenever he saw our mutual friends he would GUSH to them about me...literally 6 days before he broke up with me, he told them that he could see us being in a long term relationship. He was making plans for the future as well (things like concerts that were a couple of months away) Things were progressing fast (at times I'll admit, faster than I wanted, and I should have said something) and that may have been our biggest downfall. Then last Saturday we took a day trip to a park, and he was grumpy out of the blue. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he was just tired and everything was fine. He later sincerely apologized to me that night and kissed me, so I just took it as an off day. I met another one of his friends that night as well! We had spent Friday night, all day Saturday (Saturday night as well) and he napped at my house until early Sunday afternoon. It was his bday weekend, so all of this stuff had been planned in advance and I asked him if he wanted me to stay the whole weekend, and he told me he did. On Monday, (his actual bday) I wished him happy birthday, and then I didn't hear from him the rest of the day. I figured it was because he was out doing b-day stuff with his friends ( I couldn't go because I had to work) so I left him alone. The next day, he texted me saying he wanted to bail on our plans we had made, and I got upset. (In retrospect, I should have let him go--he had never bailed on our plans before) and he sent me a text saying he knows it was a dick move, but he was going to go anyways. I tried calling him with no answer, so after my lunch break at work was over, i sent him a text about how my last relationship I was always bailed on and I didn't appreciate it (big mistake, I know) and he sent me a text back instantly saying we rushed this. I called him, and he told me he didn't want a relationship, and that he had just got caught up in all the excitement of it. He told me that there were feelings for me, but he just didn't want the relationship with me. EVER. (That was the worst part to hear--especially considering how well I thought it was going) He told me he was living with his ex 7 months ago, and that she just up and left him with no explanation. (something he failed to tell me-- I was under the impression they were broken up for a year. The mutual friend had told me that he hated her guts for it) That's it. I didn't freak out, I was just SO stunned by it all. We just said goodbye on the phone and I haven't heard a thing from him in four days. I'm sorry this is so long, but I need some advice. What happened? Was I just some kind of rebound? He said he thought things were going great but then just realized a couple days before he broke up with me that he didn't want it. Will he ever come back if I just give him his space? Everyone who met him has said that his feelings were genuine! The first thing you have to learn here is none of your questions will get answers. At least not genuine ones. He will lie to protect your feelings, more so because you have all these mutual friends. He told you exactly that he didn't want a relationship it's as simple as that. So unless you want to be his guck buddy which I seriously doubt hearing your story you have to let him go. It was out of the blue for you, it wasn't for him. He will have decided this a good while before he ended it, he may even have known all along. Unanswered questions are the hardest ones however you have to walk away from this with your dignity. Let him go honey x
Author billystalented Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 I did forget to add that he asked me to be his girlfriend a couple weeks ago as well....he had called our mutual friend like four times because he was so nervous about it
saltyfishhead666 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I did forget to add that he asked me to be his girlfriend a couple weeks ago as well....he had called our mutual friend like four times because he was so nervous about it But the point is - that's not what he wants NOW My ex fiancé wanted me as his fiancé a year ago when he asked. 7ish months ago when he broke my heart he didn't anymore... People's wants and needs change fast. You aren't either to him anymore. Sounds cruel but it's true 1
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