collegeguy_24 Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 So I have a question. I am on POF and OKC, I've sent a few women some messages, mostly commenting on what they have in their profiles, wanting to start a conversation, get to know them before I ask them to meet in person. ell many times, they check out my profile, but then never reply back? Admittedly, I have no idea what I am doing. My pictures aren't very good, because well, every picture I have ever been in I just don't look good in, period. My question is, after they view your profile, do you message them again, acknowledging you know they viewed it, or just leave it be? I have no idea what I am doing to be honest, I am tired of being single and no one showing interest in me, but I don't want to come off as a creep, I want women to see me as an actual human being they can spend time with.
mammasita Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 First of all - get some good pictures. If they look at your profile and say nothing, then unfortunately they probably aren't interested. Don't message again! My normal routine was to read a message, look at profile and if I found the guy attractive and his profile good, I'd respond. Alternatively - even if you have a great profile but you have terrible pics - chances are slim that you'll get a reply. 4
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 It's imperative to have good and representative pictures of yourself. Ask a friend or a sister to take pictures of you. When I go back online I always have a new series of recent pictures. If they look at your profile and don't write back then don't write back. There was something in your profile that made them go next, not necessarily your picture but could be your location, age, level of education, name it, sometimes it could be something really silly but you don't have control over that so you let them go. Online dating his harder for men, you've got to send a lot of messages to get replies. Be ready for that and don't get discouraged. 1
PegNosePete Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 What gets replies on dating sites are GOOD PHOTOS and A GOOD PROFILE. If you don't have both of those then you won't get a reply whether you send 1, 2, 10 or 100 messages. In fact sending more than 1 is simply harassment and many women will block/report you for it. When you have good photos and a good profile you can look forward to a 1 in 10 response rate if you're lucky.
AntiSocal Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Stop online dating and get out into the real world. If you don't have success IRL you will have 0 success OLD. And girls online aren't exactly girlfriend material anyway. Most of them are incredibly shallow. As far as messaging goes? No. Never message someone who doesn't message you back. Them viewing your profile and not messaging means they weren't interested. I'll give you a few tips for your POF. Only write the absolute minimum on your profile. Don't put any real interests. And in the about me section say something like: message me if you want to know more. As far as pics go? Try not to smile too much. Smiling almost always make a guy look goofy. Girls are into serious men. Also try not to post a lot of selfies. Have pics of you out with buddies, of you with other girls, of you doing exciting stuff. And only a couple selfies. Also girls will say they hate shirtless pics? Thats totally bogus. If you have abs show them off. Have messaged plenty of chicks who claim they won't talk to guys who have topless pics and i can only think of two occasions where the girl chose not to message me back. Final tip: keep it short and sweet. Say hey, make a tiny bit of small talk to see if they're actually interested or just being polite, then ask them for their number. This separates the flakes and fakes from the girls who are actually looking to meet fairly quickly.
HappyLove Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Copy paste what your profile says here and we can give you some feedback and ideas how to make it better!
PegNosePete Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Stop online dating and get out into the real world. If you don't have success IRL you will have 0 success OLD. And girls online aren't exactly girlfriend material anyway. Most of them are incredibly shallow. What a complete load of twaddle. Virtually all of my dates come from online. It is totally possible to use OLD as your only means of securing dates. "Girls online" are (shock, horror) exactly the same girls you meet in real life! I know, startling revelation isn't it? There aren't entirely disparate communities of women, some of whom exclusively date online and some of whom exclusively date "IRL". In fact latest stats show that out of 54 million single people in the US, 41 million have tried online dating, 20% of current committed relationships began online, and 17% of marriages in the last year are between those who met online. Your tips for a POF profile are absolutely terrible as well. In fact so much so that I believe you are trolling the OP here. Maybe if you're carpet-bombing to get ONS, then your profile tips might work. But anyone looking for a real relationship would be very poorly advised to follow your tips. 5
HappyLove Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Stop online dating and get out into the real world. If you don't have success IRL you will have 0 success OLD. And girls online aren't exactly girlfriend material anyway. Most of them are incredibly shallow. As far as messaging goes? No. Never message someone who doesn't message you back. Them viewing your profile and not messaging means they weren't interested. I'll give you a few tips for your POF. Only write the absolute minimum on your profile. Don't put any real interests. And in the about me section say something like: message me if you want to know more. As far as pics go? Try not to smile too much. Smiling almost always make a guy look goofy. Girls are into serious men. Also try not to post a lot of selfies. Have pics of you out with buddies, of you with other girls, of you doing exciting stuff. And only a couple selfies. Also girls will say they hate shirtless pics? Thats totally bogus. If you have abs show them off. Have messaged plenty of chicks who claim they won't talk to guys who have topless pics and i can only think of two occasions where the girl chose not to message me back. Final tip: keep it short and sweet. Say hey, make a tiny bit of small talk to see if they're actually interested or just being polite, then ask them for their number. This separates the flakes and fakes from the girls who are actually looking to meet fairly quickly. I don't agree with this. Any guy who says "message me if you want to know more", it's kind of a turnoff, like really you just couldn't bother to write a bit more? I don't think that statement is needed. Shirtless pics are the worst! Guy seems like he's trying way too hard. Don't do that! Get some better pics up because no matter what you say in the profile if you look a hot mess no one is going to contact you. Don't put stupid pictures either like you in the middle if doing a cartwheel (true story). 3
AntiSocal Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 What a complete load of twaddle. Virtually all of my dates come from online. It is totally possible to use OLD as your only means of securing dates. "Girls online" are (shock, horror) exactly the same girls you meet in real life! I know, startling revelation isn't it? There aren't entirely disparate communities of women, some of whom exclusively date online and some of whom exclusively date "IRL". In fact latest stats show that out of 54 million single people in the US, 41 million have tried online dating, 20% of current committed relationships began online, and 17% of marriages in the last year are between those who met online. Your tips for a POF profile are absolutely terrible as well. In fact so much so that I believe you are trolling the OP here. Maybe if you're carpet-bombing to get ONS, then your profile tips might work. But anyone looking for a real relationship would be very poorly advised to follow your tips. I've already stated i would never look for a real relationship online. And if you want to find a good girl who is on your level of general attractiveness? Online is not the way to go. Girls online get a bunch of messages all day. And since they are online they are a lot more picky/shallow then they would be irl. When you approach a girl irl she gets a feel of your aura, your voice, you can look into her eyes, etc. + the simple act of just cold approaching a girl irl exudes confidence which women love. AS far as my profile tips go? I'm just telling the op what worked for me. His name says college dude so i am assuming he is around MY age and not yours. When i first registered on POF i actually filled out my profile, was actually looking for a relationship also. Had a horrible reply rate. And about 25% of the girls who did reply seemed disinterested from the start. Went back and deleted all personal info. Changed my intention from relationship to dating with no commitments? BOOM response rate sky rockets. All of a sudden women are interested. Maybe actually filling out the profile, not posting shirtless pics, etc works on women your age/women who are looking for men your age. But i've found that my way works best.
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Stop online dating and get out into the real world. If you don't have success IRL you will have 0 success OLD. And girls online aren't exactly girlfriend material anyway. Most of them are incredibly shallow. As far as messaging goes? No. Never message someone who doesn't message you back. Them viewing your profile and not messaging means they weren't interested. I'll give you a few tips for your POF. Only write the absolute minimum on your profile. Don't put any real interests. And in the about me section say something like: message me if you want to know more. As far as pics go? Try not to smile too much. Smiling almost always make a guy look goofy. Girls are into serious men. Also try not to post a lot of selfies. Have pics of you out with buddies, of you with other girls, of you doing exciting stuff. And only a couple selfies. Also girls will say they hate shirtless pics? Thats totally bogus. If you have abs show them off. Have messaged plenty of chicks who claim they won't talk to guys who have topless pics and i can only think of two occasions where the girl chose not to message me back. Final tip: keep it short and sweet. Say hey, make a tiny bit of small talk to see if they're actually interested or just being polite, then ask them for their number. This separates the flakes and fakes from the girls who are actually looking to meet fairly quickly. OP do NOT listen to this collection of BS. Do I really need to explain why!! 3
AntiSocal Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Seriously op how old are you? And what are you currently searching for? If you want some actual help with women from a guy who has been worse off then you and built his way up to success? Pm me. I will actually do my best to mold you into the man that "women" want. I mean take their tips and see how they work for you. But if you are around my age, which i think you are, they probably won't. Tips i have are tried and true and stuff i learned through real life experience.
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 OP I want to put this out there for you. My youngest brother met his wife online, she's a doctor. My best friend met her boyfriend online, he's a cameraman for a huge network. My daughter's best friend met her husband online, he's an amazing guy, 26 yo, they now have a son. ...and the list goes on.
mr_dave Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Put in as many photos as you are allowed. I was in the same boat as you, not getting any replies to messages I had sent, only views. So I made my profile as amusing and light hearted as I could, but also made sure it was detailed. I also added a couple more photos, one was a bit goofy, I needed a haircut, was wearing a silly hat, but it showed my eye colour and I was smiling nicely. I captioned it in a self deprecating way. Now I get a lot more replies, and in fact I now get girls messaging me first sometimes. Good luck! 1
Jethro Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Welcome to the horrific world of OLD. Hope you have plenty of self esteem to spare, because the internet is going to take a lot of it. You need good pictures. If you can't get a good picture, don't even bother. It is 99% about the picture, trust me. Even girls who claim they aren't shallow and don't judge a book by it's cover won't respond to any guy who doesn't have a good picture. OLD is the strip mall of pet shops for the dating world. Let's say you go to a pet store to buy a puppy. Do you look at breed qualities? Maybe life expectancy? Needs? No, you buy the cutest puppy in the shop EVERY SINGLE TIME. All that matters is what your picture looks like. Hope you look like Duane Johnson. No? Well then rip off a chunk of that self esteem and stuff it in the USB port. Do not message a woman any more than once. EVER. They will message you back if they are interested. You will likely message dozens upon dozens of women before getting a response. Most of those responses will be " sorry, I don't think we would be a romantic match." Rip off another piece of self esteem- your computer is still hungry.
Phantom888 Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 On Match, you can see exactly who has viewed your profile. When I wink or say hi to someone after reading her profile, they will definitely click on my profile to see whats up. 50% of them wink back or say hi, while the other half does not. There is something in my profile that turns off a lot of single women: I have kids. Most women prefer men with no kids so they can have kids of their own. Not a big deal. I prefer divorced moms anyway. So basically I identified why I didn't get responses from some women. One lady actually replied back, "You are such a catch for the right woman...Mr. Perfect to most (on paper).....but too bad you have kids." I was like "WTF"? So don't bother messaging ladies that viewed you but not responded. They are not interested. Better to improve your profile. Better pictures as stated. And try to mention why you are different than the 1,000 other choices on those sites. Trust me there are a lot of dudes on OLD. You are competing constantly so it's better to put your best foot forward. Best of luck bro.
Mo_Do Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) Pick and choose who you message carefully. Reckless messaging won't get you anywhere. Truly read the girls profile and try to message her something genuine that you learned about her and ask a question. If her profile write up is lame or gives you nothing to go off of, click the next one - you'll be saving yourself a lot of time. I signed up to match last night and I am already chatting with a beautiful lady, probably too beautiful for me! I didn't even want that!! lol And guys - I did a little OLD test a few years ago out of frustration on POF. I made a fake profile with pictures of some European male model - he barely had any more success than I did!! Remember, a large percentage of women use online dating as a means to boost their self esteem...keep that in mind and message carefully! Edited March 14, 2014 by Mo_Do
Author collegeguy_24 Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Thing is I do read their profile and comment on what they wrote. I've actually not messaged hot women just because they didn't have anything in their profile that we had in common. I look for what we both like first. I suppose I could post my profile here if people want, I really have nothing to lose at this point.
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