Number of previous partners - following Lindsay Lohan article

March 14, 2014

Yea i was pretty much talking out my behind. I really don't know that much about human evolution. Only what i learned in middle school. So feel free to correct me.

And i don't agree with that either. I think men who abandon their own child/the childs mother are the scum of the earth. But thats just the way it is. Only way to really stop a man from doing that is for the girl to choose her mates more carefully. Or use BC.

Wait a second. So what you threw at me as obvious fact was what you gleaned in middle school? You didn't think to allow the caveat that quite possibly there was more to evolution and the genders than what they dumbed down for 12-14 year olds?

If you aren't sure of a word, you can google it but the meaning of the word is:

espouse (ɪˈspaʊz) —vb: 1. to adopt or give support to (a cause, ideal, etc): to espouse socialism: 2. archaic (esp of a man) to take as spouse; marry

I was obviously using it in regards to the first definition.

I do not date women but, being one, can speak to understanding that one moral standard that I have for one gender I have for both. The post reads as broad brushing, incorrect assumptions and misognistic standards.

And then when I pushed back countering your lines of logic you tried to minimize my comments by trying to slam me into your assumptions and conclude that I must have low self esteem/respect, as I just be one of these women you are bashing, because that has to be the only reason that someone would counter your claims.

Bottom line, your lines of logic don't make sense, are patently wrong and you are forming opinions of others based on erroneous, at the very least, exceedingly simplistic information. It is simplistic and shallow thinking that has contributed to form these assumptions and broad brush opinions against a large group of people.

Based on this, I could come back with the argument that someone that allows only shallow understanding of complex information to then make generalizations against billions of people is ignorant, presumptuous and just plain foolish and that all people who do this must be of a lower IQ because someone with a higher one would know to do more than scratch the surface to make an educated opinion.

Would that be correct or incorrect line of logic?

March 14, 2014

I think he is more focused on how the woman with such a high number feels about herself sexually in general and if those high numbers are because of low-self esteem she gained it from, shame and validation or because she is an individual that just likes sex and has no regrets for it. Generally speaking, very few individuals (of both genders) truly feel happy about sleeping around in the past. If not then I'm guessing there would be no need for a forum about relationship problems, explaining how bad you feel about your excessive sexual past nor lying to your partner about it.

I understand that. But only speaking about women and make assumptions and moral conclusions against the gender was patently wrong. You speak to both genders, that is not what the OP did.

I am not sure I understand what you mean about a relationship forum and what the "explaining how bad you feel about your sexual past nor lying to your partner about it" means. There is no forum here that is specifically geared just to that.

March 14, 2014

I think he is more focused on how the woman with such a high number feels about herself sexually in general and if those high numbers are because of low-self esteem she gained it from, shame and validation or because she is an individual that just likes sex and has no regrets for it. Generally speaking, very few individuals (of both genders) truly feel happy about sleeping around in the past. If not then I'm guessing there would be no need for a forum about relationship problems, explaining how bad you feel about your excessive sexual past nor lying to your partner about it.

That's a huge assumption. I understand you are against casual sex, and that's fine, but you should't project your views on other people.

March 14, 2014

I am not sure I understand what you mean about a relationship forum and what the "explaining how bad you feel about your sexual past nor lying to your partner about it" means. There is no forum here that is specifically geared just to that.

There have been several threads about some people being uncomfortable with their partner's high sexual past. Then the ''don't ask, don't tell'' and ''the past is the past'' is an overused cliche that even people with a very modest or low past feel forced to compromise and that can create a problem in the relationship if both aren't compatible in that area.

March 14, 2014

That's a huge assumption. I understand you are against casual sex, and that's fine, but you should't project your views on other people.

There have been more stories on various sites about people being ashamed of their sexual past than those who didn't have hang-up and were proud of it. Yes, you are the exception to the rule but that doesn't apply most of the times.

March 14, 2014

There have been several threads about some people being uncomfortable with their partner's high sexual past. Then the ''don't ask, don't tell'' and ''the past is the past'' is an overused cliche that even people with a very modest or low past feel forced to compromise and that can create a problem in the relationship if both aren't compatible in that area.

Okay but that isn't only what is in the General forum. I understand that and definitely worth discussing. Why does it make people feel uncomfortable and what does that say about them, their partner, etc. What are the whys on it and what are the core issues?

All definitely worth discussing. But my opinion men and women, as a whole, are far better than just the reflections of poor behavior of specific individuals. There is a wide spectrum of people and I know some pretty amazing men and women, some pretty cruddy ones and a large number in the middle.

March 14, 2014

There have been several threads about some people being uncomfortable with their partner's high sexual past. Then the ''don't ask, don't tell'' and ''the past is the past'' is an overused cliche that even people with a very modest or low past feel forced to compromise and that can create a problem in the relationship if both aren't compatible in that area.

People (especially women) who have a promiscuous past lie because of the judgments that go along with it.

I also read a study that says women refuse to have sex with some men because they are afraid of being labelled sluts.

And I think it shouldn't be like that.

March 14, 2014

People (especially women) who have a promiscuous past lie because of the judgments that go along with it.

I also read a study that says women refuse to have sex with some men because they are afraid of being labelled sluts.

And I think it shouldn't be like that.

This ties to a whole other topic about why women continue to be seen as the gate keepers of sex and morality. Why should we carry that burden alone and why isn't it applied, in the same degree, to men?

March 14, 2014

There have been more stories on various sites about people being ashamed of their sexual past than those who didn't have hang-up and were proud of it. Yes, you are the exception to the rule but that doesn't apply most of the times.

Your view on this is skewed. People with hang ups are more likely to post here than people without them.

People who have no issues with dating don't tend to post in the Dating section.

So you don't really get the full picture of what percentage is higher, because when people are happy they don't tend to create thread about the problems they don't have.

I also have no hang ups about my sexual history. And it is full of casual sex and FWB. I didn't do it for validation. I did it because I love sex! And since I'm not in a relationship, casual sex partners is how I get it! And I'm not sorry.

March 14, 2014

There have been more stories on various sites about people being ashamed of their sexual past than those who didn't have hang-up and were proud of it. Yes, you are the exception to the rule but that doesn't apply most of the times.

You're still making an assumption based on what you read. I

I'm no exception. There are many women that are like me. you just don't hear from them because they most likely don't tell you about it because of your opinions regarding the subject.

March 14, 2014

Your view on this is skewed. People with hang ups are more likely to post here than people without them.

People who have no issues with dating don't tend to post in the Dating section.

So you don't really get the full picture of what percentage is higher, because when people are happy they don't tend to create thread about the problems they don't have.

I also have no hang ups about my sexual history. And it is full of casual sex and FWB. I didn't do it for validation. I did it because I love sex! And since I'm not in a relationship, casual sex partners is how I get it! And I'm not sorry.

Amen Sistah!

March 14, 2014

You're still making an assumption based on what you read. I

I'm no exception. There are many women that are like me. you just don't hear from them because they most likely don't tell you about it because of your opinions regarding the subject.

This is true!

On my group of female friends, very very few are opposed to casual sex. Most of them have had it, some wish they knew how to get it, others live vicariously through our sexcapades, since they are in loving, committed relationships.

March 14, 2014

This is true!

On my group of female friends, very very few are opposed to casual sex. Most of them have had it, some wish they knew how to get it, others live vicariously through our sexcapades, since they are in loving, committed relationships.

Well I've recently made a HUGE cleanup of my friends... I didn't really tell them about my sexual history seeing as they all seemed to think sex was to be reserved for relationships.

It's funny, the one who was the quickest to cry slut! is also the one who cheated on her boyfriend.

I believe it's called projection lol

My new friends are a lot more open...

Dragon, for all you know, you may have people in your entourage who are into really kinky/things you would consider way out there sexual stuff...

March 14, 2014

Personally this is not something that bothers me. I am a 28 year old male and have slept with 5 people. I would have said that was below average but they have all been long term relationships.

she had previously slept with about 40 people (she was 22 when we got together) but said don't ever tell anyone that because she was ashamed.

Dang! 40 guys at any age is insane! That many at 22 is way out there.

I wonder why she felt the need to sleep with so many guys? I'm also getting the impression that she's never been in a relationship, or at least anything remotely serious or exclusive.

You said this doesn't bother you, but you did make a thread about it.

March 14, 2014

Wait a second. So what you threw at me as obvious fact was what you gleaned in middle school? You didn't think to allow the caveat that quite possibly there was more to evolution and the genders than what they dumbed down for 12-14 year olds?

If you aren't sure of a word, you can google it but the meaning of the word is:

espouse (ɪˈspaʊz) —vb: 1. to adopt or give support to (a cause, ideal, etc): to espouse socialism: 2. archaic (esp of a man) to take as spouse; marry

I was obviously using it in regards to the first definition.

I do not date women but, being one, can speak to understanding that one moral standard that I have for one gender I have for both. The post reads as broad brushing, incorrect assumptions and misognistic standards.

And then when I pushed back countering your lines of logic you tried to minimize my comments by trying to slam me into your assumptions and conclude that I must have low self esteem/respect, as I just be one of these women you are bashing, because that has to be the only reason that someone would counter your claims.

Bottom line, your lines of logic don't make sense, are patently wrong and you are forming opinions of others based on erroneous, at the very least, exceedingly simplistic information. It is simplistic and shallow thinking that has contributed to form these assumptions and broad brush opinions against a large group of people.

Based on this, I could come back with the argument that someone that allows only shallow understanding of complex information to then make generalizations against billions of people is ignorant, presumptuous and just plain foolish and that all people who do this must be of a lower IQ because someone with a higher one would know to do more than scratch the surface to make an educated opinion.

Would that be correct or incorrect line of logic?

I'm not sure? Kinda skimmed your post cuz i'm tired.

But my iq is 132 though. Doesn't really matter IMO.

And i already addressed some of the points of your post in my other reply.

Was not posting hard and fast rules. Simply guidelines that i choose to abide by.

And you can call it a double standard all you want lol. I don't want a girl whose been with 40 dudes and is ashamed of it. If shes just a nympho? I can handle that.

March 14, 2014

Dang! 40 guys at any age is insane! That many at 22 is way out there.

I wonder why she felt the need to sleep with so many guys? I'm also getting the impression that she's never been in a relationship, or at least anything remotely serious or exclusive.

You said this doesn't bother you, but you did make a thread about it.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get there, though. You don't even notice the numbers creeping up.

I have *never* trolled for sex. *never*! And yet, offers come in left, right and centre.

Sometimes I go 6 months without getting so much as a make out session. ANd then a crazy weekend comes along and before I know it, I've slept with 2 different guys.

Since I joined this forum, my number has almost doubled. I don't even know how that happened! Granted, I've been single all that time (I joined because I'd broken up with my BF), but I was not trying to get my number way up there!

Last year I slept with 5 new guys. That's not exactly crazy. It just adds up...

March 14, 2014

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get there, though. You don't even notice the numbers creeping up.

I have *never* trolled for sex. *never*! And yet, offers come in left, right and centre.
Sometimes I go 6 months without getting so much as a make out session. ANd then a crazy weekend comes along and before I know it, I've slept with 2 different guys.

Since I joined this forum, my number has almost doubled. I don't even know how that happened! Granted, I've been single all that time (I joined because I'd broken up with my BF), but I was not trying to get my number way up there!

Last year I slept with 5 new guys. That's not exactly crazy. It just adds up...

Oh I know that it's phenomenally easy for women to get sex. Hell it's probably easier for you to get laid than for me to get hugs from girls. But that's probably because girls don't go up to me offering hugs.

I believe the key difference between men and women, is that men have absolutely no idea what it's like for women to offer themselves to him. Unless he's a celebrity or athlete, men have to work for it. Women have to not be disgusting.

What makes you decide to accept an offer while other times you don't?

March 14, 2014

The numbers game is a game women can't win.

Too few she's a prude.

Too many she's a slut.

Let's just be real, mean want to feel special when it comes to sex. They don't want to be compared to other men.

Men no longer want to wait until marriage, or heck, commitment for sex. Not surprisingly, it's easy to rack up numbers nowadays for men and women.

If men want women to stop racking up, they can help by abstaining and not expecting sex before the relationship is on solid ground. Buuut that would mean less sex for men...

March 14, 2014

Oh I know that it's phenomenally easy for women to get sex. Hell it's probably easier for you to get laid than for me to get hugs from girls. But that's probably because girls don't go up to me offering hugs.

I believe the key difference between men and women, is that men have absolutely no idea what it's like for women to offer themselves to him. Unless he's a celebrity or athlete, men have to work for it. Women have to not be disgusting.

What makes you decide to accept an offer while other times you don't?

Attractiveness. On whatever level. One guy I had a FWB for about a year was short, not classically good looking, but I was just crazy about him (and put up with a lot of bad sex because of it). It's not all about looks. Though sometimes it really is!

It's very rare that I sleep with someone I have literally just met. And rarer still that they are complete strangers.

I've slept with celebrities (not of the Lindsay Lohan calibre, though). I didn't chase them, cause I figured they already had enough girls throwing themselves at them. And trust me, they did! They came after me, whispering hotel room numbers in my ear or asking me to stay for one more drink when everyone else was leaving...

March 14, 2014

The numbers game is a game women can't win.

Too few she's a prude.
Too many she's a slut.

Let's just be real, mean want to feel special when it comes to sex. They don't want to be compared to other men.

Men no longer want to wait until marriage, or heck, commitment for sex. Not surprisingly, it's easy to rack up numbers nowadays for men and women.

A woman is not a prude if she's been with a very small number of guys. Nobody believes that. Nor does being with a lot of guys mean that a woman isn't a prude.

It's all about how a girl behaves in bed. A girl can be open, and have a desire to please even if she's only been with one guy her entire life.

If men want women to stop racking up, they can help by abstaining and not expecting sex before the relationship is on solid ground. Buuut that would mean less sex for men...

I completely agree with you. I believe that both men and women should abstain from sex till they are in a real relationship.

If that happen, half of the threads that are started every day on this forum would disappear. Never again will we see a "I had sex with him on the first date and he hasn't called me back please me"

(Yes "help" is purposely missing )

March 14, 2014

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get there, though. You don't even notice the numbers creeping up.

I have *never* trolled for sex. *never*! And yet, offers come in left, right and centre.
Sometimes I go 6 months without getting so much as a make out session. ANd then a crazy weekend comes along and before I know it, I've slept with 2 different guys.

Since I joined this forum, my number has almost doubled. I don't even know how that happened! Granted, I've been single all that time (I joined because I'd broken up with my BF), but I was not trying to get my number way up there!

Last year I slept with 5 new guys. That's not exactly crazy. It just adds up...

No ****. It's crazy how easy it is once you are DTF. If I wanted to I could sleep with 4 different guys.

O.O

March 14, 2014

A woman is not a prude if she's been with a very small number of guys. Nobody believes that. Nor does being with a lot of guys mean that a woman isn't a prude.

It's all about how a girl behaves in bed. A girl can be open, and have a desire to please even if she's only been with one guy her entire life.

I completely agree with you. I believe that both men and women should abstain from sex till they are in a real relationship.

If that happen, half of the threads that are started every day on this forum would disappear. Never again will we see a "I had sex with him on the first date and he hasn't called me back please me"

(Yes "help" is purposely missing )

Don't push your values on us thank you very much.

March 14, 2014

I don't agree with him but it is his standards and he has the right to them. Men do have the right to standards and to reject a woman for any reason just like women do. If he considers women with high numbers not to be good relationship material that is his right.

March 14, 2014

I don't agree with him but it is his standards and he has the right to them. Men do have the right to standards and to reject a woman for any reason just like women do. If he considers women with high numbers not to be good relationship material that is his right.

It's ok to have your standards just as long as you're not insulting the other gender for something you do yourself and then claim to have high grounds and act like a cop about it. This is the same as a fat man wanting to only date skinny models and insulting women that are overweight while he doesn't look himself in the mirror.

On the other hand if the person has a low sexual past and is so strict about it and have a set standard on demanding that in return, then at least he/she isn't being hypocritical.

For some reason, it seems that many men that keep on claiming to have high standards for women and not settle for any that sleep around and continue jabbing on and on about how they're selective while applying insults to the women that are ''easy'' are themselves the ones with a high sexual history themselves; some even might have a sordid past of unprotected sex, alcohol, drugs, etc. This is what is so irritating to many women including myself (and I don't even have a high past). Women don't do this much, not at the same rate men do.

Edited March 14, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

March 14, 2014

40 guys by 22. Lmao. I would never have anything serious with a girl that has more than 5.

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Number of previous partners - following Lindsay Lohan article

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