StGeorge22 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Hey guys Just thought I'd share my story of breaking NC. I'm sure there are a few people here thinking about doing it so hopefully this will help. After being on and off for all of last year, my ex decided she needed a fresh start so she moved states. Was really hurt, but tried to respect her decision. And to be honest, every other time I have gone NC, she has come back and I figured this would be the same. I did all the usual things, kept busy, hung with frirnds. Only this time she didn't contact me. After about 6 weeks of NC I found out I had to go to her state for work. I was instantly rattled. The day before I left I decided to break NC. I still don't really know why. I didn't ask to catch up, but I guess I wanted to get it out there in case we bumped into each other. That convo was fine (I called her). I was really mature about it, didn't beg etc. She said that even though there are days she misses me (a bread crumb I didn't respond to) and she misses her family, she likes it there and is trying to move on. I wished her luck and that was that... Except it wasn't. As soon as I landed I lost control. Not sure why, but knowing I was so close to her just got to me. I messaged and asked to catch up. When she said she didn't think it was a good idea, it was like I was going thru the break up all over again. Told her how she used me, hurt me etc (stuff now that I'm calm I know was a mistake). I've gone from being in control, to her having the power again of knowing I'm hurt. I initially thought it was a mistake to break NC, but now I think I finally have some closure. It's been ages and not only does she not want to try, she doesn't even care enough to catch up, which I do understand. This has prompted me to finally delete her number. Finally block her Facebook. So my advice to everyone our there, if you are planning on breaking NC, be prepared for it to not work out. But maybe like me it will give you the final nudge to say enough is enough.
loveiswar101 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Feel for you buddy, I'm terrible for breaking NC, but for you just start again. You sort of have an answer now and can really start to rebuild. Enough is enough. Best of luck..
BC1980 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I broke NC after 90 days, and my ex sounded really disinterested in me. It broke my heart all over again to hear him talk about all the great things he had been doing for the past months. It's my fault I heard all of that, but it did finally open my eyes. I wish I hadn't broken NC, but I did bury it completely after that. I still don't recommend breaking NC, but what's done is done. I know you feel closure now, but be prepared to come down hard from the initial high of talking to her. You'll want to break NC again at some point, but you'll have to reign yourself in. 1
Author StGeorge22 Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Thanks guys. When I got home I found out she didn't want to catch up because she is seeing the guy who she swore she was "just friends with". She lied so many times about him and at first even denied he lived there. Let her know that I wasn't putting up with her lies (she tried telling me she still isn't fully over me etc) and actually feel good that I've found out what she is really like and can finally move on. I'm hurt but actually really excited that I don't have to care about her. Can hold my head high knowing I have it my all. Can't wait to see what the future has in store!
4everalones Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Same thing happened to me. Except that my ex agreed to meet up for coffee. I was so excited and told him how much I missed him. He was cold and distant, he barely said anything, he was just sitting there looking annoyed and uncomfortable. He ended the meeting so quickly as if he was sitting on fire. He gave me a "pity" hug and left. I never saw or heard from him again. Lesson learned. Never break NC again. It was like going through the breakup all over again. I was so hurt and humiliated that I could barely function. I cried my eyes out and wondered why he could not love me like I lived him. What a mess! the good thing is, that last meeting crushed all remaining hope of reconciling. I had my closure and was finally ready to move on.
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