mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I'm asking this to simply confirm I've not lost my mind and this is odd behavior. So I met a man on pof, not physically met yet however he is up For it as am I. Well he's a soldier, during the day he Texts me frequently, and responds rather quickly. However I've noticed that come evening he seems to vanish!! - he doesn't respond to anything or he barely responds and takes hours to do so. Little bit of back story - he has no profile Pictures on his main profile however has them Privately on the site and has sent me them through messages. Is it just me or this really quite off? I came right out this morning and asked if he was free and single To date ie not married or in any form Of relationship to which he said nope he's single. Link to post Share on other sites
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 He could be dating other people at night and keeps a low profile on there as to protect his personal privacy. Or he's cheating and covering his tracks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Typically I google the men I talk too (usually Their username or search them on Facebook) I can't find anything on him bar a unused profile on a sex site. If he were dating i would assume id get some Reply eventually once said date was over but nope nothing until the next day from 3-5pm onwards!! I have a niggling feeling he's attempting to cheat but you can't very well accuse people of that with no proof, hence me asking him straight out :-/ Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 No one but him knows what he's up to but it doesn't sound good so your def not losing your mind! x Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 I think that's one of my concerns. In the past I have not had a google on people (shame you can't take most at face value anymore) have invested time getting to know them, then began dating and then found out they are attached! I'm a little dubious to put effort in with someone just to find that out again. Perhaps I'll suggest a date at his place, and see what's what. If he's single he will live in a dorm (at very least unmarried) if he refuses it'll obviously speak volumes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 tell him you are busy in the day, tell him not to worry you will visit him in the evening, I wonder what he will say, I just wonder Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 I don't think we have to worry about you. Seems you have a strong head on those shoulders. Good luck! Awww that was very kind of you to say! Shame I can't weed them out before I meet them eh lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Sure would... I could use some boring, maybe I should hit on a librarian or accountant haha Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 He's married. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Trust any instincts you have. If it seems dodgy it probably is. If this happened to me I would just cut contact and write him off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 I agree Gemma, although I have friends in my ear saying do more digging and show the woman he's got at home what he's upto... I'll never know why taken people can't just be taken rather than drag others into their sorry messes lol Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Maybe I think your concern is premature because I'm a guy and we don't have the same safety concerns that women do, but i find your concerns puzzling. You have not met in real life yet and already you have issues with what he does in his free time. He could be dating other women, playing x box, drinking with his buddies, or simply doesn't want to spend evening hours texting a girl he hasn't met yet. Also, suggesting the first date be at his house seems like a bad idea. You don't know or trust this guy and you want to immediately go into his house?! Even if he is a great guy, a safe guy, he will get the idea that sex might be on the menu if some girl he doesn't know wants to have a first date in his home. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe, but the combination of your concerns and solutions don't make sense to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Maybe I think your concern is premature because I'm a guy and we don't have the same safety concerns that women do, but i find your concerns puzzling. You have not met in real life yet and already you have issues with what he does in his free time. He could be dating other women, playing x box, drinking with his buddies, or simply doesn't want to spend evening hours texting a girl he hasn't met yet. Also, suggesting the first date be at his house seems like a bad idea. You don't know or trust this guy and you want to immediately go into his house?! Even if he is a great guy, a safe guy, he will get the idea that sex might be on the menu if some girl he doesn't know wants to have a first date in his home. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe, but the combination of your concerns and solutions don't make sense to me. The concern isn't exactly what he's doing every night however the concern is why does he vanish? I think I can speak for most people in thinking that if the person you are interested in just vanishes at set periods of time (extended ones at that on a daily basis) it screams red flag. A man can do whatever he pleases, he can be busy sometimes that's not unreasonable. Just like women can. But come on, every day between 5pm and 8:30 am the next day is a bit off don't you think. I invest my time in getting to know people, I have him. I think I may have the right to be bothered if it's looking fishy. Then again I'm a straight shooter and that's all I'll ever be. Probably right about the safety aspect however my father is a soldier and his "house" would be a room on a base which is fairly safe. I can see what you mean though Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Maybe you are right. As a guy, my first concern for a woman is physical safety, so that was what I focused on. Also, I've never had an issue with married women trying to trick me into dating, so I didn't put much thought into that possibility. So while no evening texting might seem a little unusual, it didn't initially set off any flags for me. By the way, I wasn't trying to pick on you. I was genuinely puzzled. It makes more sense if your primary concern is he could be married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mummyjonno Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Maybe you are right. As a guy, my first concern for a woman is physical safety, so that was what I focused on. Also, I've never had an issue with married women trying to trick me into dating, so I didn't put much thought into that possibility. So while no evening texting might seem a little unusual, it didn't initially set off any flags for me. By the way, I wasn't trying to pick on you. I was genuinely puzzled. It makes more sense if your primary concern is he could be married. I know you weren't If it wasn't a typical habit my first concern would be crap did he have an accident. A nightly accident is bad luck by the worst standards. Think I may slip some questions to him tomorrow and see what he says. I think he thinks I'm being passive and just ignoring it for now Link to post Share on other sites
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