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Are there different rules for idiots?


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Posted

I am the dumpee, it ended a few months ago. I broke her trust.. i stupidly got off (no sex) with a random on a night out a few days after she finished me. She changed her mind the next day and wanted me back, I foolishly couldn't bring myself to tell her, at risk of losing her again, but she found out anyway.. I tried to deny it for half an hour, but gave in and told her. She say's she can't trust me now and that I need to move on. This was months ago, we were on and off for a couple of months, and have been off all together for three but and I can't move on, i keep realising how much of an idiot I was more and more. We're still speaking.. but I want to win her back. i have opened up to her enormously over the last week but my question is simply this...

 

I keep hearing that the dumpee (me) should go No contact, so that I can heal and give the dumper (her) time to decide if they want me back.

 

HOWEVER... I can't find any advice on what the dumped (me) should do when they are the one in the wrong.... do i keep fighting for the love... it seems to be working, but i worry encase I'm actually making things worse.

 

does she really want me to beg and beg and beg.. so that she can see how much she means to me, I feel like i need to fight and keep fighting, even when she says she can't trust me and that I've ruined it. I feel like I am only just starting to make my point heard, but although she seems more receptive now, she is still standing firm that we can't be. Do i fight or go NC?

Posted

No woman is worth fighting over; especially when you're in the wrong. A woman deserves a man whom she can trust. Once you break that trust, it's game over. Even if you got back together, things probably wouldn't ever be the same. She'll always be thinking about that lingering possibility of you doing things behind her back. If you were in her situation, you probably wouldn't blame yourself for not wanting you back. Not feeling as strong about someone is one thing, but stooping down to such a level such as cheating is even worse. At this point, you're in a bad situation. Learn from your mistake and move on with or without her.

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