Looking for a little /support

[YouUsedtobemelclark]

Hey everyone!!!

 

So me and my girlfriend of 5 months recently broke up (yesterday) and obviously I am struggling dealing with it. It was a situation where are entire relationship was long distance (2 hours) and for the first time (two previous serious girlfriends) thought that I may have found the "one". Not getting into all the details we got along in every aspect and our families and friends all got along great.

 

So you ask why the break up? Well this is something that was my fault unfortunately! The beginning stage was great and everything went well, until I began to fall for her. This is where without knowing I became obsessed with her in a sense and let her instead of being a part of me, made her my everything. With the distance this lead to me getting into arguments with her constantly (once a week or so) about the littlest things that never would have bothered me in a million years before. I became this crazy overbearing boyfriend that I hated and never in a million years thought I would become. She began having that feeling of walking on egg shells as she said that I would become upset over seemingly nothing.

 

This led to a huge fight last Thursday before I went away with her and her family for the weekend together. This was the final straw and we broke up yesterday after the weekend because as she said she wasn't happy anymore because she felt I was putting so much pressure on her and would get upset over nothing.

 

I 100 % agree with us breaking up, I obviously love her so much but realize that I need to become okay with being by myself before I am able to give myself to someone else. I guess I am just looking for guidance because this type of thing has never happened to me before. I am currently unhappy with my job and will most likely be getting a great new opportunity tomorrow. This is going to help with me being okay with myself as well as the fact that plan and simple all of my friends moved home after college and working for a small company right now far away from where I live, I really don't have many friends around here, which is another reason I became this overbearing jealous person as well during the week.

 

I just hate that I became this person that I hate, and know that I hurt her feelings which hurts me the most. I would obviously love a second chance with her at some point if timing and everything is still right but need to be happy being alone first. I Plan on doing no contact for at least a month.

 

Anyways if anyone can just maybe relate to having this crazy in love type thing take you over and once you realize it its already to late happen to them it would be great to hear other peoples experience. I know what I need to do and will do it, just obviously sucks right now

[somecamel]

Hey everyone!!!

 

So me and my girlfriend of 5 months recently broke up (yesterday) and obviously I am struggling dealing with it. It was a situation where are entire relationship was long distance (2 hours) and for the first time (two previous serious girlfriends) thought that I may have found the "one". Not getting into all the details we got along in every aspect and our families and friends all got along great.

 

So you ask why the break up? Well this is something that was my fault unfortunately! The beginning stage was great and everything went well, until I began to fall for her. This is where without knowing I became obsessed with her in a sense and let her instead of being a part of me, made her my everything. With the distance this lead to me getting into arguments with her constantly (once a week or so) about the littlest things that never would have bothered me in a million years before. I became this crazy overbearing boyfriend that I hated and never in a million years thought I would become. She began having that feeling of walking on egg shells as she said that I would become upset over seemingly nothing.

 

This led to a huge fight last Thursday before I went away with her and her family for the weekend together. This was the final straw and we broke up yesterday after the weekend because as she said she wasn't happy anymore because she felt I was putting so much pressure on her and would get upset over nothing.

 

I 100 % agree with us breaking up, I obviously love her so much but realize that I need to become okay with being by myself before I am able to give myself to someone else. I guess I am just looking for guidance because this type of thing has never happened to me before. I am currently unhappy with my job and will most likely be getting a great new opportunity tomorrow. This is going to help with me being okay with myself as well as the fact that plan and simple all of my friends moved home after college and working for a small company right now far away from where I live, I really don't have many friends around here, which is another reason I became this overbearing jealous person as well during the week.

 

I just hate that I became this person that I hate, and know that I hurt her feelings which hurts me the most. I would obviously love a second chance with her at some point if timing and everything is still right but need to be happy being alone first. I Plan on doing no contact for at least a month.

 

Anyways if anyone can just maybe relate to having this crazy in love type thing take you over and once you realize it its already to late happen to them it would be great to hear other peoples experience. I know what I need to do and will do it, just obviously sucks right now

 

Sounds like a bout of co-dependency and some jealousy issues.

 

Having a long distance relationship can be really hard, was it always long distance or had she moved away?

 

Please don't hate yourself for what you think you became, I went to a very dark place as well, became obsessed when my GF (now ex), she moved away for a new job and we were having issues anyway, I became completely obsessed with her, I'd track her, check her emails all the time, hack facebook you get the picture, it wasn't very pretty.

 

You 'get' that you have issues with being alone which is great and I really hope that you can use this journey to learn more about who you are and make yourself a better person.

 

Yesterday was important because it gave us Today.

 

Today is important because it gives us Tomorrow.

[YouUsedtobemelclark]

Sounds like a bout of co-dependency and some jealousy issues.

 

Having a long distance relationship can be really hard, was it always long distance or had she moved away?

 

Please don't hate yourself for what you think you became, I went to a very dark place as well, became obsessed when my GF (now ex), she moved away for a new job and we were having issues anyway, I became completely obsessed with her, I'd track her, check her emails all the time, hack facebook you get the picture, it wasn't very pretty.

 

You 'get' that you have issues with being alone which is great and I really hope that you can use this journey to learn more about who you are and make yourself a better person.

 

Yesterday was important because it gave us Today.

 

Today is important because it gives us Tomorrow.

 

I was very similar to that, how long did it take you to become okay with yourself? To answer your question, it was always long distance. It was a situation where she was in grad school and was going to be there for another three years. I had done long distance before and never had a problem but because I am not happy with my job and where I live I put everything into her, which wasn't fair to do.

[somecamel]

I was very similar to that, how long did it take you to become okay with yourself? To answer your question, it was always long distance. It was a situation where she was in grad school and was going to be there for another three years. I had done long distance before and never had a problem but because I am not happy with my job and where I live I put everything into her, which wasn't fair to do.

 

Me and the ex we're LDR from the beginning, she was in another country finishing UNI, it was always planned that she would move over, so done that for 3 years, then she moved over and we had 4 years after that.

 

I wouldn't say I'm OK with myself, I'm actually a bit ashamed of myself for how far I let it go., I made a lot of mistakes and learnt a lot of stuff I shouldn't have known, I told her once in one of our arguments how I know her better than she knows herself. I used to literally analyse every conversation she was having with her friends (i had to use google translate to get them to English), I knew she was cheating and I let her keep on fooling me for a long time.

 

My advice is to use the time to go through all the hurtful emotions, yep they suck but it's all part of this journey, you'll feel the waves of pain more often in the beginning, I got mine down to every 3 days a few weeks ago but I still wake up in the morning and think of her but it's getting easier. I haven't seen her for 2 months and broke up a month ago, again very messy.

 

Sorry didn't mean to highjack threads lol but doing a lot of talking this evening:)

[YouUsedtobemelclark]

Me and the ex we're LDR from the beginning, she was in another country finishing UNI, it was always planned that she would move over, so done that for 3 years, then she moved over and we had 4 years after that.

 

I wouldn't say I'm OK with myself, I'm actually a bit ashamed of myself for how far I let it go., I made a lot of mistakes and learnt a lot of stuff I shouldn't have known, I told her once in one of our arguments how I know her better than she knows herself. I used to literally analyse every conversation she was having with her friends (i had to use google translate to get them to English), I knew she was cheating and I let her keep on fooling me for a long time.

 

My advice is to use the time to go through all the hurtful emotions, yep they suck but it's all part of this journey, you'll feel the waves of pain more often in the beginning, I got mine down to every 3 days a few weeks ago but I still wake up in the morning and think of her but it's getting easier. I haven't seen her for 2 months and broke up a month ago, again very messy.

 

Sorry didn't mean to highjack threads lol but doing a lot of talking this evening:)

 

O it's completely fine I know talking about things even if it is with someone that you don't even know helps and can even be the most beneficial. Have you tried getting yourself back out there? I know having gone through break ups before that really was the only way that helped me!

 

The last break up I tried the remain friends and that didn't work. That was a relationship that was never meant to be though but I had a hard time moving on from it. This recent one stings the most because for the first time even my family saw a future with us and I wish more than anything I would have talked to my dad or anyone out loud about how crazy and dumb I had become. That way we could have worked on it while still with the girl I am in love with, but I guess everything happens for a reason.

[somecamel]

O it's completely fine I know talking about things even if it is with someone that you don't even know helps and can even be the most beneficial. Have you tried getting yourself back out there? I know having gone through break ups before that really was the only way that helped me!

 

I put myself out there very early on and it was completely disastrous, I wasn't in a good place and if I'm honest with myself, I was looking for sex so I could beat the ex before she was going to do it to me. I got drunk both times, 2nd date I made a complete fool of myself, I was not proud.

 

Nearly 2 months later I suppose I'm in a better place, be warned though, it may get worse before it gets better:P

 

I am back on the dating sites and love the Tinder App for my phone:P Been talking to a few girls on there but not in a rush to meet them yet but I think I need to start again soon but I must behave myself and that means no alcohol, so will go out for a coffee this time:P

 

 

The last break up I tried the remain friends and that didn't work. That was a relationship that was never meant to be though but I had a hard time moving on from it. This recent one stings the most because for the first time even my family saw a future with us and I wish more than anything I would have talked to my dad or anyone out loud about how crazy and dumb I had become. That way we could have worked on it while still with the girl I am in love with, but I guess everything happens for a reason.

 

Everything does happen for a reason or no reason at all, that's life.

 

Been nice talking to you as well on here, writing it down really does help you to make sense of it all:)

[YouUsedtobemelclark]

My one question and maybe I am being irrational right now, but should I make contact with her maybe a month or so down the line once I get everything in my life together? I feel like I owe her an apology at some point because I never meant to hurt her and feel terrible about the person I became because that isn't me.

[somecamel]

My one question and maybe I am being irrational right now, but should I make contact with her maybe a month or so down the line once I get everything in my life together? I feel like I owe her an apology at some point because I never meant to hurt her and feel terrible about the person I became because that isn't me.

 

It won't mean anything to her, she won't care and either way another month isn't going to make a blind bit of difference.

 

Concentrate on yourself, you are the most important person to you at this time in your life.

 

Learn from the mistakes you made and don't repeat them with your next love:)

[YouUsedtobemelclark]

It won't mean anything to her, she won't care and either way another month isn't going to make a blind bit of difference.

 

Concentrate on yourself, you are the most important person to you at this time in your life.

 

Learn from the mistakes you made and don't repeat them with your next love:)

 

 

Thanks again, you are very wise... I wouldn't be doing it as a way to try and get back with her. I just feel once the raw emotions are gone, it would be good to say sorry cause when we broke up I didn't. I just accepted what she was doing and realized it was for the best and said I need to work on myself.