CarrieT Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Why do you feel the need to let him know anything? NO CONTACT gives the exact same message without opening those doors that encourage him to contact you. That is what "No Contact" is and what we have been trying to tell you from the get-go. Every time you contact him it gives him power. It gives him more than he deserves. This is what you can't seem to get into your head... You will have no satisfaction by trying to have the last word and he isn't worth your time and effort when you do try to get closure. It never works. Be serious about being done with him by maintain NO CONTACT. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Why do you feel the need to let him know anything? NO CONTACT gives the exact same message without opening those doors that encourage him to contact you. That is what "No Contact" is and what we have been trying to tell you from the get-go. Every time you contact him it gives him power. It gives him more than he deserves. This is what you can't seem to get into your head... You will have no satisfaction by trying to have the last word and he isn't worth your time and effort when you do try to get closure. It never works. Be serious about being done with him by maintain NO CONTACT. He's not gonna get it. I'll just do my thing though and continue NC but he's not gonna notice. Even when we were still dating we'd sometimes go 3-5 days without talking. He's pretty good at not texting back and ignoring me. That's why I felt like I needed to tell him because I don't think he will even notice that I am doing NC. But it's like you said... Why even waste more of my time. Thank you for your advice. I know I'm a little stubborn sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 He's not gonna get it. So he doesn't get it. That is the kind of jerk he is. That's why I felt like I needed to tell him because I don't think he will even notice that I am doing NC. So what will it change in the whole dynamic? Seriously? But it's like you said... Why even waste more of my time. Exactly. Why are you giving him more of your time and energy when he doesn't deserve it? I know I'm a little stubborn sometimes Apparently very stubborn if you didn't listen to our advice before. But hopefully the burn you got from that text you shared is enough to know that we are right. Be strong. Stay NC. After you have healed and moved on, you will see how right we all are... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 So he doesn't get it. That is the kind of jerk he is. So what will it change in the whole dynamic? Seriously? Exactly. Why are you giving him more of your time and energy when he doesn't deserve it? Apparently very stubborn if you didn't listen to our advice before. But hopefully the burn you got from that text you shared is enough to know that we are right. Be strong. Stay NC. After you have healed and moved on, you will see how right we all are... Yea I'll do that. And thanks again for the support. I don't know how old you are but I just turned 21 so I'm still learning. Anyway, this will definitely be a life lesson learnt. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Yea I'll do that. And thanks again for the support. I don't know how old you are but I just turned 21 so I'm still learning. Anyway, this will definitely be a life lesson learnt. I'm turning 50 in a few months. When I was going through these things that you are now, there was no internet and the life lessons were mostly learned on our own; we didn't share stuff like this with friends... But I have definitely been in your shoes and made many, many mistakes like this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 I'm turning 50 in a few months. When I was going through these things that you are now, there was no internet and the life lessons were mostly learned on our own; we didn't share stuff like this with friends... But I have definitely been in your shoes and made many, many mistakes like this! so there's really no such thing as closure though? ugh I am really close to blocking and unfriending him on facebook. I actually just went on his page and was about to hit that button but now I am so incredibly pissed off. His new "**** buddy" or whatever you would wanna call her keeps posting **** on his wall. He is on vacation right now and she keeps writing i miss you and see you soon lol Ugh that pissed me off so much. I dont know why but I got so angry that I actually just broke my phone screen because I threw it on my bedroom floor. Why do I even get so upset? I don't wanna care about him anymore. Ugh Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 so there's really no such thing as closure though? ugh I am really close to blocking and unfriending him on facebook. I actually just went on his page and was about to hit that button but now I am so incredibly pissed off. His new "**** buddy" or whatever you would wanna call her keeps posting **** on his wall. He is on vacation right now and she keeps writing i miss you and see you soon lol Ugh that pissed me off so much. I dont know why but I got so angry that I actually just broke my phone screen because I threw it on my bedroom floor. Why do I even get so upset? I don't wanna care about him anymore. Ugh Going NC means you delete his FB account for good. It means NOT having any temptations to want to contact him and as long as you have access to his FB messages, then you will keep feeling this way. You are angry b/c you still care for him in some way and that is devilishly unfortunate. He or his presence in your life is CONTROLLING you emotionally. Believe me when I say that when another human being has so much emotional control over you, you are doomed to make some serious mistakes that will undermine your well-being. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 25, 2014 Author Share Posted March 25, 2014 Going NC means you delete his FB account for good. It means NOT having any temptations to want to contact him and as long as you have access to his FB messages, then you will keep feeling this way. You are angry b/c you still care for him in some way and that is devilishly unfortunate. He or his presence in your life is CONTROLLING you emotionally. Believe me when I say that when another human being has so much emotional control over you, you are doomed to make some serious mistakes that will undermine your well-being. What do you mean with serious mistakes that undermine my well being? Like what does that mean? Sorry but I don't know what you're talking about Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 It's not so much that I care what he thinks but I want to show him that I'm serious about being done with him. I wanna make it clear to him that I've had enough of his BS and that I will no longer put up and tolerate his ass-hole behavior towards me. If you want to show him you are done with him, be done with hm and never, ever contact him again. When you tell someone you are done with them it sounds silly. Actions are loud and clear. If you contact him again for any reason he will consider it begging. To be honest that whole "I want my stuff back" conversation sounded like an excuse to talk to him and I bet that's what he thought. He is going to want sex when he comes to your area and it sounds like he was trying to set it up to happen but wanted you to know not to expect to get back together. Did you notice how happy his tone was in that text? He isn't suffering; he is having fun. I suggest you stop thinking about him and start having fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 What do you mean with serious mistakes that undermine my well being? Like what does that mean? Sorry but I don't know what you're talking about People, mostly women who allow others to manipulate them get into serious relationship patterns that prove to be dysfunctional time and time again. If you don't break away from this guy and learn from this, you may fall into such patterns. Not saying that will happen, but you remind me of some friends (all ladies) who exhibit insecurities, doubts in the wake and face of overwhelming evidence to make clear decisions to cut it clean and move forward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 No matter what excuse or reason that you may come up with to contact him, the answer is the same: DON'T!!!!! There is no good reason to contact him, respond to him, ask anyone about him, or expect that he will ever turn into Prince Charming. There is also no good reason to be stalking his FB or keeping informed about what he--or his gf--are doing or saying. There is no good reason to worry about what he thinks about ANYTHING--including you. Even if you were to tell him how badly he has hurt you, it wouldn't make a difference. If he cared, he wouldn't have hurt you in the first place. What do you hope to accomplish by telling him that you are hurt and angry and done with him? Be honest......the only possible answer is that you want him to say how sorry he is and beg you back. The alternative is for him to ignore you because he doesn't care--and he's already done that! Sure, you want to believe that once he knows how upset you are that he'll have an epiphany and change into Prince Charming. That is a FANTASY! The REALITY is that he has treated you like the dirty shirt he wore yesterday. He's thrown you aside but when he runs out of other options, he'll pick you back up until, once again, he doesn't need you anymore. In review--DON'T contact him, delete him off FB, block him from all means of contact, tell your friends that you don't want to hear anything about him, and if he happens to find a way to reach you, DON'T RESPOND!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGal Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Exactly. He will not magically turn into the man you want him to be just because you want to make him know how badly he has made you feel. He will not suddenly regret ever treating you this way and change into this respectful man. A pig is a pig is a pig, no matter how many times it rolls out of the mud. Forget this guy ever existed and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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