ThisisIt606 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Let me start by saying, I've done the long term/committed relationship but right now I'm not looking for anything too serious. I used to work with this guy and he has recently been messaging me on this online dating website and fb chat and asked for my number. All messages wereshort/ asking me to hang out. I was busy the first time but we hung out the following 2 times with his friends at a bar and then we all went out for a late night meal. Both times i went back to his place and hooked up, the first time no sex the second time sex. I am aware this is friends with benefits. The first time when I said I didn't want to have sex/wanted to go out he was like "oh you're one of those girls who wants to go out first...." So judging from that it seems like he purely wants a hookup. My main motive here is I don't want him to "forget" about me because I want to have sex with him again. What's my best move now ... do I text the night of wanting to hook up/ ask what he's doing? Do I send him flirty texts during the week to "plant the seed"? He said he has a huge presentation coming up at work this week. Would it be OK (as not not to scare him that I was clingy) to text "good luck on your pres. If you do well, I'll give you a reward " I just don't want to be this lame booty call for him. I want to play/ request hook ups too
MidwestUSA Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 "How about a little stress relief the night before your big presentation? I know you're gonna nail it." Wink, wink.
Michael91 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I don't think it much matters provided he is enthused about you. The thing is, for a one-night stand, women demand exceptionally attractive men. See Ugly Truth About One Night Stands: Men Less Choosy Than Women -- ScienceDaily With men, I believe it more of a matter of who is available, their level of attractiveness, and if they are a new girl. If equally attractive and available, men will choose a new girl over someone he has had sex with several times. Therefore, after the first two or three times, whether or not he will continue to be interested, is more of a matter of your level of attractiveness than anything you say or do.
Phantom888 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Who cares what he thinks or what the strategy is?? This is a emotionless hookup. It doesn't matter what you are to him or vice versa. You two are using each other for sex...kinda like visiting a hooker, but no one gets paid. I mean, if I visited a hooker, would I care what she thinks about me? No. You can pretend to be friends, and care about each other, but in the end, he wouldn't hesitate to throw you under a bus so that he could hook up with someone else. I mean, seriously, why would you even care how he perceives you? You are meat to him. That's it.
bubbaganoosh Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 To put it bluntly, if he sees your ass more than your face, then you just might be a redneck. Seriously though, if you want him to be more than just a hook up, you have to let him know that your more than a romp in bed. You have other body parts besides the obvious and feelings so don't let anyone take advantage of you. Good luck
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 thanks for the input so far, but just to make it crystal clear I TOO and LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP. I just want it to be consistent, someone that I know will say yes, deliver, and we will have a great time. The question being, do I do anything now to keep this happening? As in sending periodic flirty texts? Also, should I decline some of his texts/asking to hang out?
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 He's a guy. You really could just text "I'm horny" and if he's interested he get right back to ya! 1
ascendotum Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 thanks for the input so far, but just to make it crystal clear I TOO and LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP. I just want it to be consistent, someone that I know will say yes, deliver, and we will have a great time. The question being, do I do anything now to keep this happening? As in sending periodic flirty texts? Also, should I decline some of his texts/asking to hang out? Are you more than just a easy lay? Hopefully he can he have a good time with your company without you being naked. You need to appeal to more then just his sex urges, though being a really enthusiast (and a little daring) ***k in bed is going to keep him thinking about you during the week. Intrigue him a little, by not being totally into him and having an interesting life of your own and having other options should you so choose. If someone is not going to get emotionally invested in you, then it is hard to get them to keep being keen and not dropping you for fresh options. Seems like you have not come to any sort of arrangement for an ongoing nsa relationship. How about you pitch it to him. Personally for an fwb thing, I don't think there is any need for subterfuge or games. You're there for each other, though it should be a 2 way street. I think you should send flirty texts. If you do agree to something ongoing then you should be able to call up for a get together and expect him to honor the arrangement and for you not just be his convenient call girl. If he starts to flake on you (without rescheduling and just a 'cya whenever') , then you should do the same. That's my take, but its up to you. You can call the shots on this just as much, unless you feel he is such hot stuff you have to do it all his way just to get with him, but that's your business.
Emilia Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 thanks for the input so far, but just to make it crystal clear I TOO and LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP. I just want it to be consistent, someone that I know will say yes, deliver, and we will have a great time. The question being, do I do anything now to keep this happening? As in sending periodic flirty texts? Also, should I decline some of his texts/asking to hang out? So if this guy is so great at delivering the fictional 'no hassle no pain' perfect FWB scenario, why isn't it working? I know. Because he doesn't care. If he doesn't care, why do you think the part I bolded will ever happen? Just because you want something casual, it doesn't mean you should be chasing after any penis, do yourself a favour and pick a nicer guy.
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