Monodare1 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Hi troops Just when I though it was safe to get back into normal life, the ex strikes. My little boy told me the other day that he stayed over nite at the new guys house with the ex. I don't care that she stayed with him, I'm over that but as she has only been seeing him each weekend since November, i feel really uncomfortable with my son staying with him. I'm finding that in a very jealous father and I feel like this guy is standing on my toes. How do I make it plain to him (without meeting him) that I am my sons dad and that he needs to back off? Also, as we are selling our house the ex had the cheek to ask me to half in on the cost of re painting the house, not an issue you ask? It is if it's the exes new boyfriends father and it's cash in hand with no receipt! How do I dean with these two issues?
yorkie Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 tough times mate, dont bother with the new guy just remind your son you love him! im in that boat now my ex moving in with the new guy today and in 2 weeks time my kids will be stopping over at there house. but my kids wanna live with me and love me as the only dad so keep that in mind. dont think about what she has been doing since she left its nothing to do with you now. i know its tough but i to have been jealous but you know what if you meet someone you will be introducing them to your kids after a decent time knowing them. think of your son. chin up mate and regarding the house if it helps sell so you get your share do it you have to move on now mate! that is half yours! time to move on now mukka
RightThere Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I'm finding that in a very jealous father and I feel like this guy is standing on my toes. How do I make it plain to him (without meeting him) that I am my sons dad and that he needs to back off? I felt the same way about this. And to be honest, there is little you can do, and any kind of statement to this other clown that "I'm his dad and you'd better know it" will not have the effect you want it to. Kids are smart. I'm sure your son has some fun initially with this guy because he buys lots of stuff or whatever, but trust me. Your son knows exactly who you are. You are his only dad, and as long as you act like it, there is nothing this other guy can do to break that. Believe me. If the relationship progresses, it will be much worse for the other guy knowing his is literally way down the importance scale of your son. I'm sure deep down your wife also has this other guy a peg down from your son. Other men in this kind of situation always struggle with being second best to the kid. Focus on your time with your son. Do lots of fun stuff and give him lots of love. Don't talk bad about his mom or even this other guy. You don't even realize how smart your son is and he knows who his mom is, who his dad is, and the other guy is just a lower tier friend. 1
Mr.Milked Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 (edited) Since you left the house, she is running the show on what happens in that department. However, you don't need to do a damned thing at all. She can beg and moan all she wants. I would only be concerned if it was to my advantage to get a better price on the house, but otherwise undecided why you would drag yourself into that mess when she has been running the show? You need to run up your own bills IMHO. You will always be DAD to your children. They love you! Don't give another thought as to how awkward the whole dynamic is for your ex. Be the best DAD to your kid/s while you have them and everything will be alright. Trust me. Edited March 10, 2014 by Mr.Milked
Author Monodare1 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 She just totally angered me. I've not lived in the house since June last year. The Mother in law and my wifes two younger siblings moved in (and are obviously handling the paint work etc) and she asks me to hand over my hard earned cash to her new boyfriends father to paint my house! I couldn't beleive the audacity of her! I understand that there is little I can do regards my son spending time with the soon to be ex wifes boyfriend, but I wish I could make him aware that he can't stand on my toes as my little boys father. My only hope is that, even at his young age of 3 that my little boy knows who is his Daddy and just how much I love him.
hurts1968 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 She just totally angered me. I've not lived in the house since June last year. The Mother in law and my wifes two younger siblings moved in (and are obviously handling the paint work etc) and she asks me to hand over my hard earned cash to her new boyfriends father to paint my house! I couldn't beleive the audacity of her! I understand that there is little I can do regards my son spending time with the soon to be ex wifes boyfriend, but I wish I could make him aware that he can't stand on my toes as my little boys father. My only hope is that, even at his young age of 3 that my little boy knows who is his Daddy and just how much I love him. I know how you are feeling, my situation is not at that point but I can't even begin to think about my wife with someone else and especially that someone else being near my 3 year old daughter. I don't know the legal situation on these things but I am sure I wouldn't hesitate in making my feelings know to the new boyfriend, in a calm, friendly way of course! if you have a relationship with your boy like I have with my daughter then nobody will be able to come between that. I feel your pain!!
No Limit Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 My only hope is that, even at his young age of 3 that my little boy knows who is his Daddy and just how much I love him. They do. Children never forget their real parents. Just be sure to make every moment they spent with you a good moment. And give your ex the number of a good therapist to talk to. And no you won't pay the paint or the therapist.
Chi townD Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 The only thing that I ever heard on here working is getting a restraining order out on the OM stating that he can't be around the kid while you are still married to his mother. (you're still married right?) It's too confusing to the kid. Family courts don't give a damn about you or your wife. All they care about is the welfare of the child and if she's having her OM stay over while you're still married, it's too confusing for the kid. Normally Family courts buy off on that. But, that's up to you and if a lawyer deems it reasonable. If you do this then your wife is going to go High and to the right on you. But who gives a sh*t. What is she going to do to you? Divorce you?
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