Author kgreatie Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 I caved today, on my birthday, and looked at my ex's twitter. He re-followed this girl I made him stop talking to when we were dating and I'm really, extremely hurt. I don't know how to feel. I'm angry, I'm sad, I want to puke. I am in ruins.. again. I want to move on so badly. I'm so hurt. I need someone to calm me down, I feel so sick... That's the one thing I thought he'd never do.. even after we broke up. I really hate myself. I feel so sick to my stomach.
iDrumKing Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 What's done is done, now pick up the bags and keep walking. I think a majority o us here have cheated on NC before. 2
Trovador Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 You made him to stop talking to her? I don't like how this sounds... The past is wherever and whenever you want... for most people the past is in the past... for others, the past is here and now... you decide if you want to live trapped in a failed relationship... the door to Contact never should be open, less of all for those who might be desperately needy, clingy and bossy (not really saying that the OP is one of those...)
Author kgreatie Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 You made him to stop talking to her? I don't like how this sounds... The past is wherever and whenever you want... for most people the past is in the past... for others, the past is here and now... you decide if you want to live trapped in a failed relationship... the door to Contact never should be open, less of all for those who might be desperately needy, clingy and bossy (not really saying that the OP is one of those...) he used to like her, and i've always hated her and she was talking bad about me and my ex, and i wanted him to stop talking to her. not really a "clingy" or "bossy" situation.
Trovador Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 he used to like her, and i've always hated her and she was talking bad about me and my ex, and i wanted him to stop talking to her. not really a "clingy" or "bossy" situation. But you sounded sort of "momish" there... I think both of you are too young or immature and maybe this wasn't the right time for your relationship to flourish... then again, I don't know how long you were together, who propiciated the break up and so on... But please stop worrying too much for your ex, honestly, you seem obsessed... Well, no use to cry over spilled milk... back to the beginning, this time you are going to nail it, right?
Author kgreatie Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 he used to like her, and i've always hated her and she was talking bad about me and my ex, and i wanted him to stop talking to her. not really a "clingy" or "bossy" situation. But you sounded sort of "momish" there... I think both of you are too young or immature and maybe this wasn't the right time for your relationship to flourish... then again, I don't know how long you were together, who propiciated the break up and so on... But please stop worrying too much for your ex, honestly, you seem obsessed... Well, no use to cry over spilled milk... back to the beginning, this time you are going to nail it, right? Lol have you ever even been dumped or heartbroken? Honestly. I'm not obsessed, it's called heartbreak, hence why I'm posting here. Don't call me momish or obsessed, I'm annoyed already as it is.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Lol have you ever even been dumped or heartbroken? Honestly. I'm not obsessed, it's called heartbreak, hence why I'm posting here. Don't call me momish or obsessed, I'm annoyed already as it is. Sometimes best to avoid LS when the responses have the capacity to make things worse. I know I have...
Author kgreatie Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 9 weeks after being dumped... I'm still crying. I'm still wondering how I could give my heart and soul to someone who didn't care and could leave so easily. He seems to be moving on fine and probably doesn't think of me. Meanwhile I'm crying and wondering if I'll ever find something like I had again. I hold myself back all the time so I don't text him and tell him how heartless and disgusting he is for hurting me so badly. I don't understand how someone that was completely in love with me at one point could just totally leave me without an explanation. I hate how I'm still suffering and he's FINE. It's not fair. I'm sick of crying and being depressed. I'm out with friends and at the gym frequently but it doesn't help. I lost my other half. I feel so empty
whirl3daway Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 i'm sorry you feel like this. i understand exactly how you feel. i feel very empty and sad as well. you've been feeling like this for so long. what are you doing to try and help yourself heal?
barky2 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 How do you know he's doing fine? What positive forward steps have you done to heal and move on from the relationship? You'll be just fine in time. Barky
Author kgreatie Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 i'm sorry you feel like this. i understand exactly how you feel. i feel very empty and sad as well. you've been feeling like this for so long. what are you doing to try and help yourself heal? i try to keep myself busy every single day. I go to the gym and I got myself a new pet. I'm not sure what more I can do
Author kgreatie Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 How do you know he's doing fine? What positive forward steps have you done to heal and move on from the relationship? You'll be just fine in time. Barky I'll admit, I've caved a few times and looked at his twitter and he seems just fine. I try to keep busy every day and go to the gym and I've gotten a new pet but I still feel this way
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I'll admit, I've caved a few times and looked at his twitter and he seems just fine. I try to keep busy every day and go to the gym and I've gotten a new pet but I still feel this way Well, 9 weeks is a drop in the bucket. And about 20 days ago you dug at the wound and fell back to square one so really, you're still very raw and fresh into this. You're still in the grieving stages so what you feel is normal and it's not an indication that you are falling backwards or stagnating. You're going through the process of healing.
Author kgreatie Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 Well, 9 weeks is a drop in the bucket. And about 20 days ago you dug at the wound and fell back to square one so really, you're still very raw and fresh into this. You're still in the grieving stages so what you feel is normal and it's not an indication that you are falling backwards or stagnating. You're going through the process of healing. I've been doing relatively well in moving on, but sometimes, probably more frequently than I'd like... I'll have a mental breakdown and cry all day over what I lost. None of this is easy and I hate that I still feel this way. I'm very up and down, this morning, when I posted this I was crying and I just wanted to kill myself. Now I'm not crying and I feel fine and I just want to take a nap and hang out with someone. Today I'm seeing a therapist and hopefully getting evaluated for my mental health, cause clearly I'm not doing okay with this and has probably awakened some deeper mental issues along with my severe depression and anxiety..
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I've been doing relatively well in moving on, but sometimes, probably more frequently than I'd like... I'll have a mental breakdown and cry all day over what I lost. None of this is easy and I hate that I still feel this way. I'm very up and down, this morning, when I posted this I was crying and I just wanted to kill myself. Now I'm not crying and I feel fine and I just want to take a nap and hang out with someone. Today I'm seeing a therapist and hopefully getting evaluated for my mental health, cause clearly I'm not doing okay with this and has probably awakened some deeper mental issues along with my severe depression and anxiety.. I've been where you are. There will be a whole day that I feel the world is ending and the next I'm optimistic about the future. I think the process takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions. You'll go up and down. I remember 6 months into it I was doing great. One Sunday walking out of church I suddenly burst out crying and went home and wallowed in a dark apartment. I didn't know where it came from. It took about a year for me to get to a level of indifference. I think when you're early in these stages of healing, you will feel some form of depression and anxiety but if you generally suffer from it, then it's good that you're seeing a professional.
Author kgreatie Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 I've been where you are. There will be a whole day that I feel the world is ending and the next I'm optimistic about the future. I think the process takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions. You'll go up and down. I remember 6 months into it I was doing great. One Sunday walking out of church I suddenly burst out crying and went home and wallowed in a dark apartment. I didn't know where it came from. It took about a year for me to get to a level of indifference. I think when you're early in these stages of healing, you will feel some form of depression and anxiety but if you generally suffer from it, then it's good that you're seeing a professional. When does it get better? I'm so scared that I'll feel like this forever. I'm so emotionally exhausted from dwelling on this but I don't know how to stop.
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 When does it get better? I'm so scared that I'll feel like this forever. I'm so emotionally exhausted from dwelling on this but I don't know how to stop. "Forever" is irrational thinking. Always, forever, never -- it's not realistic. FOR NOW you are feeling this way. Don't put yourself in those permanent mindsets because you will only keep yourself in a very hopeless and dark state of mind. FOR NOW. When you feel like "forever" change that and say, "For now Katie, you are going to feel this way but it is going to get better." Optimistic and positive. Not negative and hopeless. It gets better when it does. That depends on you. There is no timeframe for everyone. Time, but what you do with that time is important. Dwelling has to stop. And you stop it by breaking that train of thought. When you start going down that road, break it and start to think of something else -- hence what you do with that time in terms of drowning yourself in everything and anything but him. Dwelling keeps you stuck -- you have to change that. Thought stopping. When you think of him or the relationship, stop yourself and go get busy, think about something else, call a friend, read a book -- it's like breaking a bad habit, you cannot feed it, you have to starve it. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Nothing and no one is forever!! That's what brought you here, and that's what will take you away... In the mean time, use this opportunity to learn, grow and evolve. Read, talk, listen and share with others. I don't know you, but I am certain you have issues you can work on to become a better person. Now is the time!!!
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