movingonnow1 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 My ex girlfriend left me around 6 months ago after I returned home for her after working abroad for 1 year. She begged and pleaded for me to come home, and as soon as I did, she broke up with me 1 day after I came home. Obviously, this burned me hard but I decided I need to move on…if someone does this to me then she does not deserve to be in my life. I deleted her Instagram, Facebook and number. I will be the first to admit I had my days where I have wanted to reach but I never did. Over the last few months, my ex girlfriend has been contacting me via text with tons of breadcrumbs. She wants me to be friends with her and constantly tries to pretend that she did not do anything wrong. I’ve been ignoring her messages for the most part (except for New Years Eve and Christmas, I said “thank you”). I want to point I never did the "closure" talk and have built up a lot of my emotions over the passing months. After ignoring her a few months of “Hi” “Hey” “Hello” messages, I finally responded. She messaged me saying: - Her: “Will I ever get over what happened? I feel guilty everyday”. - Me: “You led me on; hurt me and now you expect things to be normal. What do you want from me? You broke up with me and I don’t see why you constantly message me. I thought my silence would be a strong enough messages but you don’t seem to get it.” - Her: “Relax. I’m just trying to be friendly and I’m not trying to date you… it is not worth us not talking. You've been acting so cold and ignoring me…it’s not worth it. Things happen in life and maybe we weren't mean to be as a couple but it doesn't mean I don’t want you not in my life” She then sent me a few more messages and I ignored. Finally, she a few days later she asked me “Will you ever get over what happened and be my friend?” The only way I felt I will truly get over her is if she stops messaging me and I just flat out cut her out. I told her this: “Honestly, you don’t know what you put me through leading me on and breaking up with me when I came home. I way loyal to you, honest and sacrificed a lot to try to make it work. In the end, you showed me that you don’t appreciate and that you think I’m not good enough for you. I’m insulted that you think I would be too weak to move on and that you thought I would die without you. I’d much rather spend my time focusing on myself and being around people who aren't selfish and trying to use me. I wish you all the best, but you are not my friend and I would appreciate if you don’t contact me again.” She responded saying she is sorry for what happened and that she feels bad about it every day. She said that she didn't tell me when I was abroad because she was “unsure of how she felt”, she respects me and she always tries to apologize but I ignore her. That she wants me to forgive her, not hold a grudge against her and that she will respect my wishes and never contact me again. I guess it is starting to hit me that it is REALLY over forever. This happened at the beginning of January and she hasn't contacted me since…does this mean I have zero chance of ever getting back with her? Part of me still loves her and understands why she ended it…but I mean…I guess I had that comfort by her messaging me make me feel better knowing she is thinking about me. Now I think she is gone forever. Did I do the right things here?
Zahara Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I guess it is starting to hit me that it is REALLY over forever. This happened at the beginning of January and she hasn't contacted me since…does this mean I have zero chance of ever getting back with her? Part of me still loves her and understands why she ended it…but I mean…I guess I had that comfort by her messaging me make me feel better knowing she is thinking about me. Now I think she is gone forever. Did I do the right things here? It was over 6 months ago. You need to accept that. You did the right thing but you should have kept strict NC from the get go. Block her. Don't stalk her FB. Keep yourself away from anything that triggers you. 2
lauri Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Your situation is scarily similar to mine... I think once it is over, it is over forever. She may care about you but she doesn't want to be with you. I know that feeling you are having because you closed the door of communication on her...its one of the hardest things I've done but in the end it will be the best decision for both of us.
Author movingonnow1 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 It was over 6 months ago. You need to accept that. You did the right thing but you should have kept strict NC from the get go. Block her. Don't stalk her FB. Keep yourself away from anything that triggers you. I'm just starting to get really lonely and miss her a lot. I know it was over 6 months ago but I guess her messaging me constantly started to give me that false hope - that belief that maybe I could change her mind eventually if I started to talk to her...but I never did talk to her and I just kept ignoring her day after day. All I did was push her away and tell her to never contact me again. I guess in a way I was hoping she would flat out come and say she misses me and realizes she made a mistake. But I know she is too hard headed to admit that and I doubt there will ever be a chance for us to talk again.
Purepony Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Not to go off topic but why do you have an Instagram? Sounds to me like she's been gone I'm surprise she would feel that guilty most of them don't even say goodbye or apologize or cry about it...
Purepony Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 You did the right thing she should not have left you hanging like that
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