stansmam Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Hi, Ive wrote on here quite a bit about the problems in my relationship. It is only now that we have split up that i can see how abusive my ex actually was. But, i thought it was all just mental abuse until ive started thinking about our relationship. Because Im so confused with they way he tret me,Im still struggling to see what was abusive or not. Im looking for help on the way he tret me sexually. Our sex life was practically non existant, he would say "why would i want sex with that" and told me it was my fault because i was "depressed" and he would "avoid" me. Now and again he would have sex with me and say "will that shut you up for a week?". I say this as it makes me wonder whether i deserved what else he did..... He refused sex however, he who often grab me and put his fingers "up me". This is just when going about my daily business. I told him not to do it because i couldnt understand why he'd do that but be so against sex? He would also talkto ne in really degrading ways, using extreme language about what he was doing. Im not a prude, but it made my skin crawl. Why was he so sexually over the top like this, byt would actually refuse sex? It was like he was just constantly laughing at me. I dont know if tgis is bad or not?
gothicrose Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Controlling, disrespectful, definitely abusive behaviour. Why did he do it? Well the one thing I can say for SURE is that it wasn't your fault AT ALL. You did not deserve to be treated badly. Personally, I wouldn't try and work out which behaviours were abusive as such... do understand that you feel it matters to you and you wonder whether you somehow caused his behaviour, but just try and keep in mind that he was an abusive person and you are better off rid of him x 1
Author stansmam Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Thanks gothicrose. Sorry, i should have said.... i made a complaint about him to work (by accident, it all just got too much for me) they told me his behaviour was unacceptable and he is now being investigated. I have to meet with work again on tuesday, do i tell them the sex side of stuff, or will it just make things worse?
gothicrose Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 It depends on a lot of things. So, you work together yes? Did any of the abuse take place in work?
Recommended Posts