Economist70 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 My ex and I recently broke up (She dumped me) because she was leaving the state to study at University. I haven't taken the break up well but she seems relatively fine with it (Which is part of the pain I'm feeling [Did I mean nothing to her?]). She proposed being "friends". Obviously I said yes because you can't say no in a situation like that (To say no is to end it completely). While we were going out, it was natural for each of us to amalgamate into each other's friendship group(s). My friends really enjoyed her company and soon she'd started texting them and snapchatting them (Something I didn't have a problem with [i myself interact with some of my friend's partners in the same manner]). But after breaking up (And remember she suggested going friends) contact on her part has been minimal. I try to text her but she always seems to just shelve me. Now I know this shouldn't worry me but it does, she still texts my friends (Quite extensively too). I think it'd be unfair to ask them to stop but it literally eats me up inside when I see her texting them and not me. I wouldn't call them fights as such, but we've had a few heated confrontations since breaking up. I eventually initiated "No contact"; unfollowing her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram as well as deleting her number in my phone and blocking her on Snapchat. Now I haven't spoken to her since doing all this, but today I was feeling a change of heart so I re-followed her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (Obviously some of these actions would have warranted her receiving a notification). Now my problem: Within the space of 10 minutes of re-following her on Instagram, the friend of mine who I know she's been texting since we separated mentioned me in a comment on Instagram and started following her (I checked my following feed and the timing was impeccable). Now this guy is my housemate and (I'd like to think) one of my closest friends, but I know for a fact he hasn't used Instagram in over 2 years so he would have had to re-download the app (For his new phone too, mind you). So here are my questions: Is this purely coincidental, or are they talking about me over text? I now recognise we wouldn't have worked out long distance, but since she suggested we should be friends I'd expect somewhat of a continual conversation and not just her shutting me out and talking to my friends. This is literally playing with my head and I don't want to approach either party in the off chance that I've read this wrong. But I can't help but be paranoid and it'd bringing me down. It's interfering with my study and also my ability to sleep.
TAV Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Sounds fishy. I can understand, since this is your roommate ánd one of your best friends this would be different from her seeing just any random guy. I think if they would be having an affair his betrayal would hurt you more than hers? I'm the type who is very loyal to her friends and would never continue a strong friendship with their boyfriends/husbands after they split up but I understand not everyone is like that. You are all also pretty young and I guess it is much different at that age too. Do the instagram pics not give you any clues? Maybe you can test them? Tell him or her something personal (true or false) that would be bound to get a reaction out of them if they were indeed more than just friends.
lolablue17 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Sounds ugly. She actually pickpocketed you and stole your assets. Thats what happened. When she asked you to be friends with her, she meant it, but she got over you quickly and you're not interesting any more. But she "earned" new friends - your friends and she is very excited with them (or at least one of them). What I think is ugly is the lack of minimum sensitivity from her side by not seeing the situation she caused. She should respect your feelings and not using you as a bridge to you friends while abandoning you even as a friend. UGH... i hate it. there is nothing you can do right now. you have been stung. 1
babycakees Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 This is an absolutely terrible situation. This girl breaks up with you, suggests being friends (which is never a good idea), and then steals your friends. You may want to try talking with your friends and explain to them how you feel. They have been friends with you longer, so hopefully they will be understanding. Other than that, I'm not sure there is much else you can do.
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