Girlfriend broke up with me through text and won't respond to texts or calls?

[bobsmith777]

I appreciate your comment. I will do the best I can now. After seeing what she tweeted and experiencing more pain, I definitely won't be checking it again, and I already removed her from facebook. All of my friends keep saying I haven't messed up but that I should get back to NC. I am doing my best

[fixing]

Thats great. Facebook is horrible place to be when you are vulnerable. I have been off it two weeks now and im starting to feel better about myself.

 

Problem with social media is its a Mirage. You only get to see what people chose to share about them selves. It can really damage your self esteem when you see the one you love posting **** so you did good to delete her.

 

I suggest you get off facebook and twitter. Just text and call your close friends and keep posting here.

 

Your a ****ing Doctor for **** sake. You got the world at your hands. Dont let this woman destroy your life.

 

TAKE BACK CONTROL. No contact and dont even respond to her unless she is apologising and asking for YOU to FORGIVE her and take her back. If she doesnt call you, then, well, rest assured, she wasnt the woman you first thought she was.

 

Be strong. Get back in the driving seat. Your not a passenger anymore.

[Survivor12]

Yes I know we need to eventually agree on those things, but we are only 23 and probably 7 years from needing to worry about those things. We have no idea what our financial situations will be like and we have no idea where our careers will force is to move.

 

Once again, there is a difference between how the two of you think about things. You choose to ignore the issues until you are faced with making decisions. She, on the other hand, doesn't want to invest years in a relationship in which there are such fundamental differences.

 

Many marriages fail because couples do not consider and resolve their differences prior to getting married. Changing your religious affiliation is one thing, but changing beliefs that are inherent is not so easy. in your situation, it's not just a single issue that would require compromise--there are several.

 

As for why she won't respond--she may well be very much in love with you and is dealing with a struggle between what she believes and what she feels. Give her some time to work through this on her own. Right now, she probably believes that you will say & agree to anything to save the relationship without really considering her concerns.

 

In any case, she broke up with you. You know why. There's not much you can do right now. If you try to push her to talk to you, she's only going to feel that you aren't respecting her wishes. Instead, prove to her that you do by giving her space. Please don't misunderstand. I'm not saying that you should just "get over it". Breakups are hard and it will take time to recover from what you have lost, but it won't help to continue to fight something you cannot control.

 

You seem like a nice guy, and I wish you the best in finding someone to spend your life who is more compatible with who you truly are.

[bobsmith777]

Forgive me but isn't it a little extreme to wait for her to beg for me to come back? Should I not answer if she calls me? Should I ignore her texts if she says hi or something? I am new to this all so I am just so unsure of how to react if she calls. The one time we broke up before she called the next day to say she made a mistake, so I know she is capable of it but I just feel like she would have done it by now if that was the route she was going to take.

[fixing]

Forgive me but isn't it a little extreme to wait for her to beg for me to come back? Should I not answer if she calls me? Should I ignore her texts if she says hi or something? I am new to this all so I am just so unsure of how to react if she calls. The one time we broke up before she called the next day to say she made a mistake, so I know she is capable of it but I just feel like she would have done it by now if that was the route she was going to take.

 

Look. How do you feel? Heartbroken right? Devasted? Doesnt that warrant an apology and a firm effort from her to make things right? Im not saying she will 100% call and want you back, i dont know her or you, but, there is a chance for that to happen if you be strong and show her your not to be taken lightly.

 

Yes, if she texts and says 'hi' or 'how are you' IGNORE. Those are meaningless words. ONLY, respond if she is showing sure signs that she made a big mistake and she wants to work it out with you.

 

DONT DO SMALL TALK WITH HER. It enables her to release her guilt and slowly ween herself off of you.

[bobsmith777]

I see now. Okay thank you so much for the advice. I will try my hardest to wait for her to beg to take me back. At least I won't have to see her ever. She was the one who left school for a year to deal with her depression so I suppose I should feel grateful that I won't come across her there.

[bobsmith777]

Feeling kind of crappy again right now. I am trying to study but she is all I can think about. The only thing that is making me feel better is searching dating websites to see potential new women. I am not ready for one but its kind of interesting to look around. It's been about 1 day since I tried calling her a bunch yesterday. I can't wait for my exam to be over so I can have a short break from all of my stress.

[bobsmith777]

Spoke to her best friend last night and I flat out asked her if she thought we might be able to get back together in the future. In summary she said 'in the long run maybe, but she is pretty sure she needs this right now. She needs to focus on getting herself back together before she would even be ready for a relationship again.' So I am not exactly sure what this means but I suppose I am taking it positively.

[Chi townD]

Personally, if you're catholic and trying to marry English royalty, then I don't really see the need to switch religions. You shouldn't have to switch your faith in order to be with someone. And if they're requiring you to, then that's not the person you really need to be with.

 

 

To quote Mrs. Brown, "We're all trying to get into heaven, does it really matter who's driving the bus in order to get there?"

[bobsmith777]

Well I have said many times that she was not forcing me to do it and that I was probably going to do it anyway, so that's not an issue.

[bobsmith777]

Forgot to mention that her friend also said that she is sad about the breakup. Not that I didn't expect that but it's certainly better than the alternative. I just can't stop thinking about how long it's going to be before I hear from her. I believe with all of my heart that at the very latest we will get back together when she moves back for school, but I am hoping at happens before then.

[bobsmith777]

Just read a tweet that she posted "still havent gotten a hang of this free time thing." Any thoughts on this? Or am I getting hope for no reason?

[deathandtaxes]

Stop reading her tweets. There's my thoughts. You're gonna wonder yourself to death, searching for meaning where there is none, hope when you shouldn't, etc.

[bobsmith777]

I just broke down and started crying a few minutes ago. I still don't understand how someone could break up with you in a text and just ignore you after that. I am so miserable and have lost all confidence in myself.

[BradJacobs]

Just read a tweet that she posted "still havent gotten a hang of this free time thing." Any thoughts on this? Or am I getting hope for no reason?

Stop reading her social media!

 

You can unfollow people on twitter so do it.

 

As per the rest: she made her decision. You're going to be a doctor right? You have to make decisions for people all the time and have enough conviction to feel right and to know what's in their best interest. She did the same with this break up. She may love you but feel it's best that you two break it off. That is what she chose. That is what she is committed to.

 

Move on. Do not talk to her friends about her. Do not ask anyone about her. Just forget her and if that means slaying a whole lot of dragons (women) in the process then so be it. You wouldn't be the first person to get over an ex by sleeping around.

 

In time, you will forget all about her. In time, she won't matter.

[SoundedPlum]

I think you need to take 10 deep breaths. I think you're focusing SO much on her, and that's making you even more upset. Try not to check her social media (I know, it's hard). Give her space, give yourself space, and try to let time heal.

[bobsmith777]

I'm trying really hard not to check it. I am lucky that she rarely updates it so I usually don't see anything new. It has been about 5 days since I last tried contacting her, so I am starting to feel a little better but I get random waves of sadness at times. I still want her back but I made the decision that I am going to start dating. If she comes back, she comes back. If not, I will find someone better.

[bobsmith777]

I have been feeling a lot better lately. I know she isn't coming back so I have been moving on more easily. I still have moments of panic every time I wake up but they are getting better. I also dream about her every single night, and I wish that would stop.

[bobsmith777]

Starting to feel overwhelmed again. Today was my first day back at school and I could barely pay attention. I still haven't heard a word from her since the breakup text and I feel absolutely worthless. I was always a good person to her but yet I mean so little at the same time. I can't get her off my mind and I just don't know how to get over her. I wish I could just wipe my brain of all my memories right now

[bobsmith777]

I have been NC for 9 days now after trying to contact her for a couple of the first 5 days. It feels to me like she is never going to contact me again

[EuTuBrute]

Bob she will...however go NC for right now. Get yourself back to a normal state of thinking.

 

Mine got in contact with me 7 months later. However even at the point in time she still argued about petty things.

 

Once it is broken it is broken. Move on make yourself happy.

 

You will find someone who wont break your heart, and maybe, just maybe she will blow you ex away 100x.

Edited March 17, 2014 by EuTuBrute

[sly_fly1]

its a power play, ignoring someone or the silent treatment is the most intense psychological abuse there is. it pierces your heart and sanity like a knife cutting through butter, trust me we have all been there. alot of people will tell you to move on. i was and still am hanging on the edge of a cliff not knowing what will happen with me and my ex. the only way to get them to communicate with you is to simply forget about them. well its not simple, but its the only way. put down the phone, turn off the computer. make sure she has one way to contact you. because she will find away. im sorry what ur going through, im going through the pain too

[ponchsox]

She did you a favor, man. You don't want to be with this type of a selfish person. Just think if you got married and she left you one day? Never lose your happiness and keep being an alpha male. You will find a woman who appreciates you for what you are, not what you aren't.

[bobsmith777]

Thank you for the support, everyone. I do know that I deserve better and I try every day to tell myself that. I usually go to bed each night feeling great about myself, but wake up feeling awful. I totally agree that ignoring someone is psychological abuse. I deserve to hear this from her mouth and she is too much of a coward to confront me. She has always been an awful communicator so I am glad I figured this out now, before we ever were married. I am praying for the day that I can be fully recovered and ignore her when she wants to talk! I am a damn good catch and was always there for her through her depression, but if she can't see that she's a damn fool. I can definitely do "better" than her, and now I will make sure to do that.

[hermitinator]

You said you had disagreements on kids, money, and where to live. THAT'S HUGE!!!!! You can't have a solid relationship if you can't be in 100% agreement on those.

 

 

 

I agree.

 

 

I don't think she was being immature, other than breaking things off through text message.

 

 

She made the choice for you and you should be grateful and thankful for her. It is disgusting and disrespectful to yourself that you would be willing to compromise your religion for her. She understood that it was unrealistic for you to convert to her religion. Apparently she had more brains than you to understand that you should never compromise your own self for another person - religion or not.