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Girlfriend broke up with me through text and won't respond to texts or calls?

bobsmith777

By bobsmith777
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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Hi everyone,

 

So my girlfriend of a little over a year recently broke up with me after discussions of the future started getting heavy. We had a few disagreements about where we would live, how we would raise children, and how conservative we would be with our money. We had some minor disagreements, but we eventually compromised and agreed to discuss this in the future when it became more relevant. Shortly after, she sent me a length text suggesting that we are not compatible because of these differences, and that our different religious beliefs would cause conflict.

 

This came after I repeatedly reassured to her that I was likely to convert to her religion after we finish school, when I have more time to focus on that. I sent her many calls and texts in that first day asking if she could call me so that we can discuss these issues.

 

Three days later, she has yet to call or text me back. I have become increasingly upset, losing focus with school, and losing hope in our future. Obviously we were very serious since we had been discussing our future living arrangement, and even marriage. Do you have any advice about how I may proceed from here? I realize that I need to stop calling and texting, so I have begun no contact. But if she contacts me, what should I say? Any advice is appreciated.

 

I would like to add that we are both 23 and in medical school, so we are very stressed and don't have a whole lot of time for each other, other than studying all day.

 

I realize that these disagreements are difficult to compromise. However, I have given in and told her that she can have everything she wants. And I have even told her multiple times that I am interested in converting to the same religion, so that would not be an issue.

 

 

I am planning on converting as soon as possible but, as you probably know, that's not something that happens overnight. I need to sign up for a class which won't begin until around September. I am doing the best that I can. And it may be hard to believe but medical school takes up a lot of time, so that is why I think it would be best to wait until after I graduate. Nevertheless, I would be willing to speed up the process if it proves to her that I am serious.

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Saurren Established Member

Saurren

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Don't just change your beliefs just because she told or asked you to. You might as well hand over your manhood while you are at it. Just go NC for a while and see what happens because you're situation isn't as hopeless as some people here on LS.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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I understand that I shouldn't change my beliefs for her, but the thing that I already changed my beliefs before this even happened, but I was not in a rush to make it official. I was still learning the process of converting, but I never made it clear to her that this is what I wanted.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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I am feeling pretty awful right now :( I am trying to study for an exam but all I can think about is her. I keep getting these urges to call her but I know she will just ignore them. I miss her so much and feel so hurt that she would ignore me and not give me a chance to meet her needs.

Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

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I'm so sorry to hear about how your ex is treating you.

 

Here's the thing. She's being super immature and inconsiderate of you. She's only thinking about herself. You have to start taking care of yourself. You need to FOCUS ON YOURSELF.

 

Can you study with friends?? Right now, please do not think about her. Try to focus on the test. After you are done with it, you can dwell on you ex for a little bit longer, but not right now. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TO STUDY FOR THIS TEST. Get a study partner who doesn't know what's going in your romantic life that way you two won't waste time talking about it.

 

I know how you're feeling. When my ex and I broke up I was at school too. I remember trying to studying but I just wanted to cry the entire time.

 

Stop contacting her, if she wants to talk, she'll contact you. Or maybe you can contact her, but not right now. Later.

 

We're here for you.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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Started feeling a little better last night. My friends because helping me realize that someone who is willing to treat me like this is not worth my pain and suffering. While I still would love to have her back, I am beginning to think that life without her is not the worst idea. I still feel deep down that she will change her mind, but I am not going to sit here and think about it all day long. I was able to get a good 5 hours of studying in last night, so I am grateful for that. However, when I woke up this morning I still felt pretty crappy. A little better than every other morning this week, but crappy nonetheless.

Saurren Established Member

Saurren

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Take it day by day. To top it off she dumped you through text and just keep telling yourself only cowards do that.

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iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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Take it day by day. To top it off she dumped you through text and just keep telling yourself only cowards do that.

 

Agreed. Anyone that dumped me through a call/text (which has happened) instantly loses my respect.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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I have definitely lost some respect for her but that doesn't make this easier to get through and doesn't make me miss her any less. I am deeply in love with her and would take her back in a second. I am finding it harder and harder to maintain no contact and some of my friends are suggesting that i send her chocolates that she loves. I am thinking about caving but I realize that it will only hurt me more when she doesn't contact me.

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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I have definitely lost some respect for her but that doesn't make this easier to get through and doesn't make me miss her any less. I am deeply in love with her and would take her back in a second. I am finding it harder and harder to maintain no contact and some of my friends are suggesting that i send her chocolates that she loves. I am thinking about caving but I realize that it will only hurt me more when she doesn't contact me.

 

It sucks man I know. But you have to keep in perspective that she walked out on you.Do you really want to be with that type of person to leave when times got tough? Do you?

 

I know you feel like caving but you have to refrain from doing so. You have to. Take it from me. I was in a 2 year relationship, my ex broke up with me the exact same way as yours did, I begged and cried. You know where that got me? NOWHERE.

 

If she wanted to get back together with you, she would let you know.

 

NC is a process you have to go through. It could take 1 month or 1 year. But eventually you will come to terms.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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Your differences are not the real issue here. ALL relationships require compromise on both sides, and many couples live happy lives with different standpoints on certain issues - politics, religion, etc. It seems that she is unable to compromise and you should not have to throw all your beliefs to the side in order to MAKE yourself compatible to her. On top of all that she broke up with you through a text message! This should be a clear sign for you that this relationship will not have a happy ending, whether it is now or years down the road.

 

Do not break NC. Focus on your studies and yourself. You will be better off in time.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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If our differences aren't the real issue then why did we break up? This whole process is killing my spirit and making me question everything I ever said to her. I don't have any idea where I went wrong and she never gave me any indication that she was unhappy. She is the worst communicator. She never speaks to me about any problems she is having. She just resorts to breaking up and then changes her mind in a day. But this time she hasn't changed her mind.

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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If our differences aren't the real issue then why did we break up? This whole process is killing my spirit and making me question everything I ever said to her. I don't have any idea where I went wrong and she never gave me any indication that she was unhappy. She is the worst communicator. She never speaks to me about any problems she is having. She just resorts to breaking up and then changes her mind in a day. But this time she hasn't changed her mind.

 

Welcome to my world man. Welcome to my world...

 

My ex GF never communicated with me either. I stressed to her throughout the 2 years that we were together to talk to me if there was something on her mind. She never did. She expected things to change. How can things change if I don't know about them?

 

Do not self blame. She took the easy way out. That's just how you're going to have to take it.

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iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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go out have a good time, screw a few hot chicks.

 

I would refrain from taking this route. But that's just me...

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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After recently being dumped and only communicating with my ex GF for a while through texts and email I realized that I was giving her too much power in letting her ignore me or not.

 

My suggestion, is to talk to her in person.

 

I deeply regret not driving to my exes place a few days after she dumped me and getting her to talk to me in person. Unfortunately it's far too late for me to show up at her door.

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iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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After recently being dumped and only communicating with my ex GF for a while through texts and email I realized that I was giving her too much power in letting her ignore me or not.

 

My suggestion, is to talk to her in person.

 

I deeply regret not driving to my exes place a few days after she dumped me and getting her to talk to me in person. Unfortunately it's far too late for me to show up at her door.

 

Yeah it's lack of character to not give the person the time and day to BU in person.

deathandtaxes Established Member

deathandtaxes

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You said you had disagreements on kids, money, and where to live. THAT'S HUGE!!!!! You can't have a solid relationship if you can't be in 100% agreement on those.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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I totally wish I could go to her house right now but she moved back to her parents house to take a year off of school, so I am an 8 hour drive from her.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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Yes I know we need to eventually agree on those things, but we are only 23 and probably 7 years from needing to worry about those things. We have no idea what our financial situations will be like and we have no idea where our careers will force is to move.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I totally wish I could go to her house right now but she moved back to her parents house to take a year off of school, so I am an 8 hour drive from her.

Ah so you guys are long distance now, that changes things a bit.

 

How long has the distance been there?

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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She has been away from school since mid january. She was supposed to come here yesterday actually for my spring break but things obviously changed, so I am a wreck since I don't get to see her now.

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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Ugh, I just saw that yesterday she tweeted "doing what is right sucks sometimes". Now I feel bad

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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I tried calling and texting her after I saw it because I felt horribly weak. Now I guess it's back to square one :(

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bobsmith777 Member

bobsmith777

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I woke up again in a panic this morning. I have had a dream about her every single night since it happened. For some reason I can fall asleep feeling just fine, but every morning I feel awful and start to cry again. Hopefully I can start to recover now that I know I have ruined everything.

fixing Established Member

fixing

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Yo mate. You need to chill out, and fast! STOP ALL CALLS AND TEXTS IMMEDIATELY.

I promise you, you call again, you are putting one more nail in the coffin.

 

Be strong. Disappear. Go full no contact now. Stop spying on her social media.

 

She made her choice. Its now on her, if she wants to change her mind. Your pushing her further away right now.

 

Be strong sir. She might just come back round if you let her miss you.

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