Men Who Disappear

[Leigh 87]

I am getting alarmed by the amount of threads that read like:

 

" I slept with a guy after the second date, before we established whether or not he wanted to be exclusive with me, and now he has stopped talking to me as often/at all"

 

It baffles me that there are many women out there who were as clueless as I once was; I thought I was, frankly, very silly for allowing myself to be put in that position.

Why is it that we women listen to any sweet words that men say? Is it because we know that we are probably average looking and therefore, cling onto any guy who says we are "beautiful?"

It is just increasingly COMMON to read about women on this website alone, who come across guys who they think are really into them, only to be pumped and dumped.

I doubt that all these women are thick/dense, or frankly, stupid. No, I think some men are just really good at making women believe that they are genuinely into them.

 

It is never nice for a man to disappear and ignore a girl after sex; it is rude. It is an age old thing that all men should KNOW will hurt a woman's feelings.

However, the woman is also to blame that she LET the guy use her in this manner. She SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

I learnt fairly fast after a couple of guys that this is often the case - that you actually have to wait for THE GUY to tell you that he wants to have a relationship with you or at LEAST be exclusive with the HOPE of having a relationship long -term.

On one hand, I believe in being polite and considerate towards others. Namely, if a woman is kind enough to open her legs and let a guy ..... have his way with her, he should, at he very least, say "thanks but no thanks" if she pushes for me communication.

Disappearing after sex is rude and the men who do it cannot possibly be lovely, considerate men in general.

The men are rude that disappear after sex; however, the women are JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME for it happening in the first place.

 

So yeah. I now only have sex with men who tell ME that they want ME to be exclusive with them. I let them bring it up and be the ones to want me to be exclusive before sex.

It worked with my currant guy, yet two guys before him I wasn't so lucky with.

Early sex now comes into play.

See, the two guys before I met my current bf, we fooled around early on. But before we fooled around, both men TOLD me that they really liked me, and one of them flat out told me after date one that he had deleted his profile and preferred to focus on one woman at a time.

He wanted a relationship. He said he wanted this to go somewhere. He said he told his parents and friends about me.

He constantly told me that he was scared I would hurt him. He begged me to not cheat on him.. to not play him.

 

Perhaps waiting for a guy to ask you to be exclusive IS NOT an adequate filter?

Early sex means; you can still come cross the guys who can PRETEND to be really into you and PRETEND to want a relationship with you.

 

Conclusion: I think after one or two occasions where a women is used for sex while being under the assumption that she had a "connection" with him, the women who go through this once or twice should indeed hold off from early sex AND wait to see if the guy seems genuinely intent on forming a relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many times did you ladies get duped? How many times did it take you to wake up to yourselves?

I am not even sure how many guys actually did lie about being interested in me to get sex.

Maybe they did genuinely start out liking me; maybe they were genuinely into me, only to change their minds and disappear instead of having better manners and actually telling me of their wish to not see me anymore?

 

 

 

I just put it down to " well they couldn't have been all that into me, if they were they changed their minds. Whatever"

[Zippy2000]

Perhaps waiting for a guy to ask you to be exclusive IS NOT an adequate filter?

Early sex means; you can still come cross the guys who can PRETEND to be really into you and PRETEND to want a relationship with you.

 

 

I read this phrase on another forum. Its goes like this:

 

"Women can fake orgasms, men can fake relationships".

 

A man can still fake he still wants a relationship with you even 6 months down the line and then when sex happens. He can do a Lord Lucan! lol

[newmoon]

yeah, these threads are getting very tiresome and very hard to read. the stupidity of some women really bugs me. but whatever. perhaps it's just an indication of how desperate women really are to hear nice things from a guy and feel like someone actually likes them? when you're taken for granted, dumped, not in a relationship for long periods, of have self-esteem issues you make yourself very easy prey for these guys that sweet-talk you. it's so easy to fall for that when you don't have yourself in the right place. so the blame imo goes to the women for accepting so easily what the guys dish out.

[Copelandsanity]

Women do the same thing, too. Except it's with commitment. Once they get the commitment (marriage), they lose interest and give up on the relationship.

 

I think it's important for both men and women to know what the red flags are and be able to stick to their guns when they recognize them.

[Leigh 87]

He is very attractive and powerful and convincing. I'm none. All the women will jump through hoops for a chance at him.

 

 

 

 

No no no. Not at all. Some of the more attractive men have turned out to be the most decent.

 

 

The guys who disappeared were both over weight and not what most women would go gaga over. TO ME I felt amazingly strong chemistry with them. Of the "sexual chemistry" type:lmao:

 

 

I have felt the strongest pull for men who were not the usual Casanova type.

 

One of them was red haired, freckled, balding and chubby, with an English Accent. The pull I had towards him was mind blowing.

[Leigh 87]

yeah, these threads are getting very tiresome and very hard to read. the stupidity of some women really bugs me. but whatever. perhaps it's just an indication of how desperate women really are to hear nice things from a guy and feel like someone actually likes them? when you're taken for granted, dumped, not in a relationship for long periods, of have self-esteem issues you make yourself very easy prey for these guys that sweet-talk you. it's so easy to fall for that when you don't have yourself in the right place. so the blame imo goes to the women for accepting so easily what the guys dish out.

 

 

 

 

Well I was admittedly stupid at one stage. After two guys disappearing I felt the need to ensure that a guy was DEFINATELY into me, for real haha, before spreading my legs for them:sick:

 

I actually slept with my current guy too early, but he did show me every sign imaginable that he was totally into me. He invited me to meet all his family and friends.

 

If I was single again I would just change the sleeping with guys too early part, but I have managed to do everything else right besides that one thing.

 

Plus I got lucky in that my bf did turn out to be genuine.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

There IS NO solid guideline for women seeking a relationship to follow when trying to decide if a man is genuine and whether or not she should have sex with him based on that. There never will be.

 

The only thing that has worked for me is complete separation of church and state...or in other words emotions and sex. Until both are secured as compatible, there IS NO relationship or commitment.

 

If you are looking to be in a relationship, then it's a good idea to make that clear from the beginning. But do not, in anyway, try to bind the two actions together when you are in discussions with a potential mate. You also should not leave yourself open as vulnerable to their decision. You make it to where you are trying to decide whether or not you consider THEM relationship material and not the other way around.

 

Never allow a man to try and persuade you or convince you to have sex. You have it only because you want to, period. If you want to, then do it, without any preconceived notions or expectations. If it works out, THEN you have a decision to make based on everything presented - the emotional and physical connections. If not, then you chalk it up to a good time (or not so good) and move on. No love lost.

 

Now I don't mean this in a sense that you have sex with every guy that shows interest or has potential. The sex part comes into play only with those you feel a strong connection to. Not just the guy who acts the gentleman, holds your hand, opens doors, or texts a lot. Don't gage the connection based on HIS level of interest, base it on YOURS. It should be all about YOU and what you want, expect, and desire. Nothing else matters. That's my opinion.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

I live in a constant state of fear (well, what used to be fear) shall we say, "awareness"? that anyone can disappear on me at any time. With this in mind, it weighs very heavily on my decision on whether to sleep with someone or not. I have to ask myself "Do you think the sex would be worth it if it ends up being a ONS?" Which is exactly why I've had very few partners. It may seem depressing or pessismitic but it's actually been very helpful.

 

I also pay absolutely zero attention to sweet words or flattery. Calling me beautiful is not about to drop my panties. I think the women on whom these tactics work, generally suffer from dangerously low self-esteem. It makes them feel validated, obviously. And it shows. They may think it doesn't, but predatory men can pretty much smell that kind of desperation from the jump.

 

Me, personally? As I said in another thread today, compliments etc just flat out don't work on me. I don't believe them. But it's not because I think I'm worthless or unattractive, but because I have seen far too many guys use empty words and flattery to woo a woman. I look at your actions, not whatever pretty things fall from your lips.

 

A lot of times I've had friends wonder why this guy who was "so nice" and "said he was so interested" pulled a fade out after sex was had. It became abundantly clear that they were so blinded by his words they ignored his actions. I.e., guy says he "really likes you" repeatedly, but often doesn't call for days at a time, etc. If you chose to still believe he "really likes you", well, that's on you.

 

It bothers me that more women don't take up this attitude, well, perhaps not this same attitude, but at least one in which they were not so ready to take everything at face value. Frankly, I gave up on feeling sorry for most of those women a long time ago because they are willfully ignorant. When you hear their stories it's like, red flag after red flag and all you can thin to yourself is, "How the hell did they not see that?" over and over again.

[Ruby Slippers]

It has never happened to me that a guy has disappeared after sex, no matter when it occurred. I feel a lot of sympathy for women in that situation. What irresponsible, low-down behavior. A person has to have a pretty black soul to do that to somebody, no matter what the circumstances are. I could never treat someone that way. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror.

 

I've only had sex early on a few times, and in retrospect, I can see why it was a bad idea. I'm lucky that I never suffered any serious consequences or emotional pain as a result - but I think it's ALWAYS a good idea to take your time and be prudent about whom to have sex with.

 

At this point in my life, I don't see myself having sex with a man unless I care about him, he's shown consistently that he cares about me, and there's clear and strong potential for the feelings to deepen.

[SammySammy]

There IS NO solid guideline for women seeking a relationship to follow when trying to decide if a man is genuine and whether or not she should have sex with him based on that. There never will be.

 

The only thing that has worked for me is complete separation of church and state...or in other words emotions and sex. Until both are secured as compatible, there IS NO relationship or commitment.

 

If you are looking to be in a relationship, then it's a good idea to make that clear from the beginning. But do not, in anyway, try to bind the two actions together when you are in discussions with a potential mate. You also should not leave yourself open as vulnerable to their decision. You make it to where you are trying to decide whether or not you consider THEM relationship material and not the other way around.

 

Never allow a man to try and persuade you or convince you to have sex. You have it only because you want to, period. If you want to, then do it, without any preconceived notions or expectations. If it works out, THEN you have a decision to make based on everything presented - the emotional and physical connections. If not, then you chalk it up to a good time (or not so good) and move on. No love lost.

 

Now I don't mean this in a sense that you have sex with every guy that shows interest or has potential. The sex part comes into play only with those you feel a strong connection to. Not just the guy who acts the gentleman, holds your hand, opens doors, or texts a lot. Don't gage the connection based on HIS level of interest, base it on YOURS. It should be all about YOU and what you want, expect, and desire. Nothing else matters. That's my opinion.

 

I agree with all of this post, but especially the bolded. I think that should be true for both parties. Only have sex because you both want to with no preconceived notions or expectations. I don't think it matters whether the pair reaches that understanding on the first date or the hundredth date. As long as both understand it's casual sex and not a precursor to a relationship.

[pickflicker]

It's only happened to me a couple of times. It requires no analysis, just forget and move forward. And don't contact them looking for answers...

[Leigh 87]

It has never happened to me that a guy has disappeared after sex, no matter when it occurred. I feel a lot of sympathy for women in that situation. What irresponsible, low-down behavior. A person has to have a pretty black soul to do that to somebody, no matter what the circumstances are. I could never treat someone that way. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror.

 

I've only had sex early on a few times, and in retrospect, I can see why it was a bad idea. I'm lucky that I never suffered any serious consequences or emotional pain as a result - but I think it's ALWAYS a good idea to take your time and be prudent about whom to have sex with.

 

At this point in my life, I don't see myself having sex with a man unless I care about him, he's shown consistently that he cares about me, and there's clear and strong potential for the feelings to deepen.

 

 

 

It can be hard to even determine if a guy is genuinely into you, for starters.

Sometimes it is truly the guy who ACTS interested and would likely fool even experienced daters. It is not always the case of a woman being "naïve" or " ignorant" as to HOW a guy is supposed to act like when he is into you......

Still, I have managed to really fine tune my bullsh*t detector that only can only really manage to do through some close calls (guys who DO act into you yet aren't/disappear)

 

I thought the other guys seemed genuinely into me.

Maybe they were, yet changed their minds.

I didn't cling onto disinterest ; they did a few sure things to make them seem into me.

 

One guy seemed very into me; as INTO me as they come..... felt really good on the phone, told me during date one that he took his profile down, texted every day, saw me once every week....told me that he told his parents about me because he thought it was "going somewhere"

Yet he didn't invite me to meet his family within the first month; he drove to see ME every time, and there was no talk of me meeting his family.

He also "disappeared" and refrained from texting on the nights that I hung out with male friends. I texted, I knew he received my texts yet he ignored me a few times. When he otherwise texted me very regularly.

Jealous? or a sign of "what is to come" in regards to "selectively" ignoring me when he sees fit? I knew he was the type to text a girl back if he really wanted to.

 

He also constantly wanted to talk about sexy stuff and he wanted me to send him pictures of me and my very attractive female friends.

Whenever I was out with my female friends he wanted " lots of pictures".

I told him it was odd. He said he "wanted to be part of my life" and " loved seeing me have fun with friends:sick:". Female friends only:sick:

He was "jealous" when I hung out with male friends, supposedly:lmao:

 

Last red flag about this guy was: he disappeared when I texted him that I was a little upset about something. He would say "what is wrong.. please tell me" and then he wouldn't say anything. And then text the next morning as though nothing was wrong?!

 

The other guy I slept with way too early, within a week of meeting him. He seemed into me but during out nights apart he never texted unless I texted him.

It was also too early to really know if he was into me, since a week is too soon to introduce you to friends/family.

I had too high expectations too early on, in other words.

 

 

 

 

Current guy never pressured me for sex, although he made it clear he was very attracted to me and that he felt sexual chemistry.

I was the one who initiated first sex.

He invited me to meet his family and friends after date one, because: " his 30th was a big deal", his words, and he "wanted me to be his present":love:

 

 

His bday wasn't for a couple of weeks later but he thought to invite me after our first date.

 

 

 

 

 

I hope I have truly improved when it comes to picking out the men who are serious about me, through methods of elimination such as:

 

- do they want me to meet their friends or family OR are they just coming out to my flat to meet me every time?

-do they want to hang at my flat first/second date?

- do they talk dirty before or after date one?

- do they ask for sexy pictures after date one or two or even three?

-do they want to fool around every time you hang out?

- how long will they wait before sex is brought up?

- are they thoughtful and considerate of your time constraints?

-do they care about you when you are feeling bad about something?

 

 

 

 

 

A guy can really ACT into you yet there are always subtle, small signs that he may be playing you/not as interested as he says he is........

The two disappearing acts DID indeed show a lot of interest but there were signs that they weren't.

[Leigh 87]

actions. I.e., guy says he "really likes you" repeatedly, but often doesn't call for days at a time, etc. If you chose to still believe he "really likes you", well, that's on you.

.

 

 

 

That happened to me the first time a guy disappeared.

 

He would tell me how "amazing" I was pretty much incessantly. While with me.

 

When apart, he NEVER called.

 

After 3 days with no text/call I texted him " well, obviously you are not interested. Good luck with it all. Don't bother hitting me up when you want sex"

 

I never heard from him again.

 

If he was interested in seeing me again he would not have gone days without calling me:lmao:

 

I don't advocate only believing a man is interested if he texts/calls incessantly.....

 

But yeah, not calling for 2 or more days at a time is a red flag in the current generations that are tech savvy and always have their phones on them......

[Leigh 87]

It's only happened to me a couple of times. It requires no analysis, just forget and move forward. And don't contact them looking for answers...

 

 

I learnt this after the two instances when a man disappeared.

 

I felt my dignity drop each time:lmao:

 

 

....I mean, they ARE NOT INTO YOU since they disappeared. You present yourself as " looking for answers" and hence "caring" and "thinking" about them, when they sure as hell aren't thinking about you!

 

It looks pathetic and I vow to never do it again.

[travelbug1996]

Actions speak louder than words.

[pickflicker]

I learnt this after the two instances when a man disappeared.

 

I felt my dignity drop each time:lmao:

 

 

....I mean, they ARE NOT INTO YOU since they disappeared. You present yourself as " looking for answers" and hence "caring" and "thinking" about them, when they sure as hell aren't thinking about you!

 

It looks pathetic and I vow to never do it again.

 

If you take a moment and surpress the urge to "seek clarity" from a man, you'd be surprised how often they'll volunteer it on their own. They just need some space to do it.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

 

If he was interested in seeing me again he would not have gone days without calling me:lmao:

 

I don't advocate only believing a man is interested if he texts/calls incessantly.....

But yeah, not calling for 2 or more days at a time is a red flag in the current generations that are tech savvy and always have their phones on them......

 

 

Right, neither do I. But I think we sort of set mental boundaries as to what is an acceptable length of absence and what isn't.

 

It's not even so much as calling, but just in some way making contact. I'd actually rather a guy DIDN'T text or call constantly, or with measurable regularity (as in, "oh ok it's Thursday, so I know he's going to call") but I'm not about to go a week or more without him even so much as briefly touching base. Sure people's lives get busy and whatnot but if you care, even just a little bit or think you might, you make time.

[Leigh 87]

If you take a moment and surpress the urge to "seek clarity" from a man, you'd be surprised how often they'll volunteer it on their own. They just need some space to do it.

 

 

 

Hmm well lets see.

 

Disappearing sort of points to them simply not being into you enough to continue seeing you.

 

No rocket science is involved to figure it out. It is also all the closer a woman should need.

 

I am not ashamed to admit that it took me a couple of goes to "get" that if a man is truly into you, he won't disappear or end things without a good reason; there is no ifs or buts.

 

At least I get it. I have lost count of the attractive and perfectly FINE women who subject themselves to looking that pathetic to men who never gave a damn about them. It is sad.

[pickflicker]

Hmm well lets see.

 

Disappearing sort of points to them simply not being into you enough to continue seeing you.

 

No rocket science is involved to figure it out. It is also all the closer a woman should need.

 

I am not ashamed to admit that it took me a couple of goes to "get" that if a man is truly into you, he won't disappear or end things without a good reason; there is no ifs or buts.

 

At least I get it. I have lost count of the attractive and perfectly FINE women who subject themselves to looking that pathetic to men who never gave a damn about them. It is sad.

 

Oh, I took ages to work it out. But once you do, it causes less anxiety.

[cif]

You could wait to have sex until after marriage.

[Larry56]

Interesting ideas,

 

Your going to find lot's of different types of guys out there. Your going to find some real *weirdos*...and yes lot's of guys with NO manners.

 

I am quite surprised these guys were *super* insistent they liked you and even jealous of the thought of you getting with someone else...and then they just went MIA. They probably weren't the type of guys you would want to spend your life with anyways. These were signs of controlling guys anyways. It's nice for them to show they care but they will be total drags if you have to live with these types of guys.

[Leigh 87]

Interesting ideas,

 

Your going to find lot's of different types of guys out there. Your going to find some real *weirdos*...and yes lot's of guys with NO manners.

 

I am quite surprised these guys were *super* insistent they liked you and even jealous of the thought of you getting with someone else...and then they just went MIA. They probably weren't the type of guys you would want to spend your life with anyways. These were signs of controlling guys anyways. It's nice for them to show they care but they will be total drags if you have to live with these types of guys.

 

 

 

ooh man, that guy was a REAL piece of work......

 

 

We had undeniably electric chemistry. From the second we met I thought it was one of those "wow" sort of feelings; from both sides.

 

I guess I was the only one feeling it!

 

Every time I went out with male friends this guy would be all funny. I would text and he would stop as soon as I said I hung out with a guy (it was always in a group setting not one on one).

 

He would carry on about "me being so beautiful that another guy could steal me away" or he would say things like " please don't play me or hurt me or " I beg you, if you are going to cheat please break up with my first"

 

:sick::sick:

 

 

Then one of the only insecure things I ever did was to say " well, I also don't want you to play me either; I don't want you to disappear on me, as that is my biggest fear"

 

...then he disappeared. After having sex with me. After he made a BIG song and dance about " I would NEVER disappear on you after sex"

 

He is the one who waited a month or more to have sex. In the beginning he said " you think I am going to leave you after sex, don't you. Well look, that will never happen, lets just fool around a

 

He also made up that his dog got paralysed and his mother was in hospital for no apparent reason.

 

 

 

 

 

Some people are truly sick. And to think that he was going on about how " compared to the other girls I have dated, I think I can have something special with you, based on how strongly I feel so early on"

 

 

 

I think I want to barf.

[babycakees]

I have luckily never had a guy bail after he had sex with me. I can honestly say I've only slept with one guy that I wasn't in an actual relationship with. I tend to think I have a pretty strong "BS radar" and can tell when a guy is only trying to get me in bed. I've had guys disappear on me, but none of which I chose to sleep with.

[Got it]

I am getting alarmed by the amount of threads that read like:

 

" I slept with a guy after the second date, before we established whether or not he wanted to be exclusive with me, and now he has stopped talking to me as often/at all"

 

It baffles me that there are many women out there who were as clueless as I once was; I thought I was, frankly, very silly for allowing myself to be put in that position.

Why is it that we women listen to any sweet words that men say? Is it because we know that we are probably average looking and therefore, cling onto any guy who says we are "beautiful?"

It is just increasingly COMMON to read about women on this website alone, who come across guys who they think are really into them, only to be pumped and dumped.

I doubt that all these women are thick/dense, or frankly, stupid. No, I think some men are just really good at making women believe that they are genuinely into them.

 

It is never nice for a man to disappear and ignore a girl after sex; it is rude. It is an age old thing that all men should KNOW will hurt a woman's feelings.

However, the woman is also to blame that she LET the guy use her in this manner. She SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

I learnt fairly fast after a couple of guys that this is often the case - that you actually have to wait for THE GUY to tell you that he wants to have a relationship with you or at LEAST be exclusive with the HOPE of having a relationship long -term.

On one hand, I believe in being polite and considerate towards others. Namely, if a woman is kind enough to open her legs and let a guy ..... have his way with her, he should, at he very least, say "thanks but no thanks" if she pushes for me communication.

Disappearing after sex is rude and the men who do it cannot possibly be lovely, considerate men in general.

The men are rude that disappear after sex; however, the women are JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME for it happening in the first place.

 

So yeah. I now only have sex with men who tell ME that they want ME to be exclusive with them. I let them bring it up and be the ones to want me to be exclusive before sex.

It worked with my currant guy, yet two guys before him I wasn't so lucky with.

Early sex now comes into play.

See, the two guys before I met my current bf, we fooled around early on. But before we fooled around, both men TOLD me that they really liked me, and one of them flat out told me after date one that he had deleted his profile and preferred to focus on one woman at a time.

He wanted a relationship. He said he wanted this to go somewhere. He said he told his parents and friends about me.

He constantly told me that he was scared I would hurt him. He begged me to not cheat on him.. to not play him.

 

Perhaps waiting for a guy to ask you to be exclusive IS NOT an adequate filter?

Early sex means; you can still come cross the guys who can PRETEND to be really into you and PRETEND to want a relationship with you.

 

Conclusion: I think after one or two occasions where a women is used for sex while being under the assumption that she had a "connection" with him, the women who go through this once or twice should indeed hold off from early sex AND wait to see if the guy seems genuinely intent on forming a relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many times did you ladies get duped? How many times did it take you to wake up to yourselves?

I am not even sure how many guys actually did lie about being interested in me to get sex.

Maybe they did genuinely start out liking me; maybe they were genuinely into me, only to change their minds and disappear instead of having better manners and actually telling me of their wish to not see me anymore?

 

 

 

I just put it down to " well they couldn't have been all that into me, if they were they changed their minds. Whatever"

 

You cannot control the actions of others. If you do not like the outcome of x plus y, change the equation.

 

If you act in a way that you want an obligation but you haven't expressed it, given time to see if the person's actions will actually do as they say, then you are putting yourself in that situation and not valuing yourself enough.

 

I am in my 30s and have had sex with two men. I didn't have it until I was 18. Why? Not from guys not being interested but because I knew that I wanted/needed us to be in love and that takes time. So I learned you don't sex especially when one is young. I knew the importance of sex to me so I had to value that and myself and protect myself from situations that weren't going to put my best interests and emotions in the best venture.

[Gaeta]

If you have a sensitive heart and think sex means something then by all means don't have sex before the promise of an exclusive relationship.

 

If on the other end, you are a woman that don't equate sex to love then sex on a 1st date or on the 10th date makes no difference.

 

I have sex early. I'm older, I've been around, I know sex is not a commitment, it doesn't even mean the guy likes me. If I don't hear from him after that then *meh*, at least I have not invested any feelings in him. I would never be heart broken over a man I saw twice and had sex with on second date. I guard my heart much more then I guard my.......

 

To me sex compatibility is extremely important, that is why I'm quick to test it. If we don't fit in bed then I am not interested in a relationship with the person. I am sorry, I am not investing 1-2-3 months in a man that will turned out to have a micro-d1ck, doesn't do oral, and has huge hick-ups about sex.

 

The problem with the ladies is they don't respect their own wants and needs. If you know you will get hurt if a guy bails after sex then respect your emotional needs/wants and don't DO IT.