Author franklingrad7 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 I joined this forum yesterday. My fiancee of 8 years left me this week. Tuesday, March 4th 2014. Whilst my relationship wasn't the same, all that you write strikes such a powerful resonance with me. Tomorrow will be my first day of NC. Keep writing on here, keep your thoughts going. Will do. Life sucks sometimes.
jjjen09 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 You both cried? She definitely has very strong feelings and cares a lot, and four days is not much. You guys will definitely talk, whether its a day or week from now! Good luck
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 You both cried? She definitely has very strong feelings and cares a lot, and four days is not much. You guys will definitely talk, whether its a day or week from now! Good luck Thank you for the encouraging words.
TheKook Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I am going through the exact same situation! I dated a girl for two months where, in the beginning, we got along great. I truly did like her but she became too busy and things just started feeling uncomfortable and awkward. I became insecure because of her lack of effort, and in turn we both became really distant. We went to a dance a week ago and had an amazing night, it was how I pictured our relationship to be from the beginning. I told her I wanted to talk to her about us after the dance. The discussion escalated and she became extremely upset. She cried profusely and told me she couldn't appreciate me or give me the attention I deserved, and that she felt like she was taking her stress out on me. It's been a week of NC and frankly I'm pretty fine. I do miss her and hope to maybe talk to her again when she's free, but I'm keeping myself occupied and not dwelling on it. I really want to text her/talk to her right now as well, but you just have to resist. Give it time man and best of luck.
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Well here I am at the one week mark of not saying a word to you. I'd love to know your thoughts on this. I always have an urge to just reach out and ask how you're doing but I restrain myself. Do you even still have my number or did you delete it? I went to church this morning. It was my regular church and not the Catholic mass that you enjoyed going to. How was church for you today? What did the priest talk about? I know it's only been one week but I have learned so much about myself in such a small amount of time. You're so different than any other girl I've ever met. You showed me things about myself I never even noticed and I crave that with you again so bad right now. I actually have a date tonight, I'm sure you'd be proud of me. Met her on the same site that we met on! You said I should get out there and meet other people and that it will help, I guess we will see after tonight. She's 29 years old and works at Ohio State University in the Immigration department. From her picture she looks pretty, but as you always reminded me, it's not always about looks. I swear sometimes I'll never find another you. But I cannot think like that, everyone is different and has special qualities about them, I guess I just fell in love with yours the most. It was like you were so perfect (oh jeez, I gotta stop putting you on this pedestal) in that you were never judgmental about anyone, you saw only the good in people and in turn I wanted to be the same and to this day am working on just that. I miss our daily devotions together and I miss making breakfast with you. I have faith God will pull me through this and he has great plans for both you and I, it's just so hard not having any idea what's going on right now, the fear of the unknown. I hope you had a good weekend. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, know that I'm thinking of you and I love you Kathleen. -Aaron-
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 Kathleen, Hope you had a good weekend, wherever you were. I'm guessing you probably went back home to see your parents. Wish I could have gotten to know them better, I never really got the chance only seeing them once. Your mom seemed to like me a lot. As stated in my last entry, I went on a date last night. More for the reason to help me feel better and realize there are other girls out there. It was nice. We went to the gym and played basketball for a while and talked. She seems like a strong Christian girl (which I learned I love from you) and knows what she wants in life. I don't see it going anywhere romantically but it's nice to meet new people nevertheless. How is teaching going for you? Are your kids behaving? It's starting to get a little warmer out and I remember you saying they were asking when they could have outside recess again. I bet they're excited to get outside during the day. I'm not really feeling the work thing today, but it does give me something to do at least so I'm not bored and stuck thinking about you (I do this anyways but oh well). I hope you have a great day at work. I would like to eventually hear from you at some point. Hopefully you still have my number? It would be nice to know that you still cared about me I guess and what we had together. I miss you beautiful. Always, Aaron xoxo
David87 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 How the date went? Did you liked the girl? Try improving your social skills, talk more, joke more, smile more because that's a thing your ex hated about you.
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 How the date went? Did you liked the girl? Try improving your social skills, talk more, joke more, smile more because that's a thing your ex hated about you. It went well. I was a lot more talkative because of that fact. She liked me a lot. But I mean it takes a while to get to know someone. Just trying to get out there and see other girls right now.
David87 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 It went well. I was a lot more talkative because of that fact. She liked me a lot. But I mean it takes a while to get to know someone. Just trying to get out there and see other girls right now. You need to see other girls why? Didn't you liked the one from last night? Give her a chance go out on a couple of dates practice your skills and then decide .
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 You need to see other girls why? Didn't you liked the one from last night? Give her a chance go out on a couple of dates practice your skills and then decide . No, I mean I plan on going out with her again, she was awesome. But I'm not gonna commit to one person after one date. She is going on other dates as well. It's too soon for me to just jump into a serious relationship.
David87 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Yep that's good then, it will help you to get over your ex.
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Alright so when me and my ex split, she told me that if she had forgotten anything at my place to please let her know so she could get it. Soooo, with that said, today, I found a pair of her pants on the floor in my closet. Keeping to my promise I sent her a very brief text saying "I found pants of yours in my closet. I will just throw them out." (God forbid I wanted to see her in person, that would suck and cause me more pain). She texted back "Ok. Thanks for letting me know, I can always buy others." THEN she asked the dreaded question "How are you?"...Oh no you don't woman, not now. I simply replied with "Well, how are you?" (I wasn't about to tell her anything about how I was doing). She responded "I'm good. Just watching the bachelor and painting my nails, so basically typical Kathleen!". I shot back a final text "That's good to hear." And that was that, haven't gotten another text since and I don't plan on texting her again. Break ups are such bull.
bubbaganoosh Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 If you found a pair of her pants and she forgot about them, then it's obvious that she didn't care about losing them but you sent her a text. Now honestly, you didn't think that a pair of pants were that important did youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Are you sure that you didn't want to contact her? Hmmmmm?
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 If you found a pair of her pants and she forgot about them, then it's obvious that she didn't care about losing them but you sent her a text. Now honestly, you didn't think that a pair of pants were that important did youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Are you sure that you didn't want to contact her? Hmmmmm? Not really, no. I could have said a million things to her after she asked how I was. Instead I chose to cut the convo short. I didn't want to have one with her. And that was that. I just like to keep promises. So I did.
legion113 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Not really, no. I could have said a million things to her after she asked how I was. Instead I chose to cut the convo short. I didn't want to have one with her. And that was that. I just like to keep promises. So I did. Like to keep promises huh, to a girl that dumped you? What about her promise to love you forever blah blah blah. At any rate, c'mon, you texted her to tell her you found her pants and are going to throw them out? Why didn't you just throw them out, it's not like she was missing them. Cut the bull, you were either wanting to contact her, or were hoping she might come by to pick them up. When my ex left, and she procrastinated about getting her stuff out of my house, goodwill suddenly had a huge donation.
LostAlways Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Honestly she's just looking for a quick reassurance maybe because of guilt? Breadcrumb texts are the worst.
Author franklingrad7 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 I'd definitely say the hardest part at this point is letting go of the last little hope I have of us ever getting back together. I've heard this is called the one of the final parts of the grieving process, acceptance, which I am slowly achieving. It's sad really, learning how to NOT love someone you do love, it's like what's the point of it ever happening in the first place? I will always wonder that. I feel my recovery is possibly being expedited due to the fact of this not being the first time I've gone through this and I know there truly is light at the end of the tunnel. It's just frustrating when I want to love you so bad, but that's selfish. I hope your week is going well so far. Same as always here; work and that's pretty much it! I have another date tomorrow night with a new girl. She's 29 just like the last one, blonde hair just like you. She's a paralegal for a local law firm. We had a nice talk last night and I discussed what I was looking for in a girl and told her about all the things I learned from my past relationship (you). I will be forever grateful for all that you taught me, showing me EXACTLY what I want in my future wife. If I had to guess, I believe that's why God put you in my life. Just wish it was a bit less painful. Well, have a great day teaching beautiful. Only a couple more months until you get the summer off. Always Aaron
David87 Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Hold on buddy things will get better. I'm glad to hear that you continue dating. Stay strong.
LostAlways Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Letting go is the hardest part. Show her that you're actually moving on and she will be reminded how much of a great person you were. But don't fill your head with false hope of her one day reaching out, this is a bad motive. The nights are definitely the worst time I have a hard time myself trying to get through them because of all the memories... For me I put all her things in a box and never looked back on them but the thoughts are hard to get rid of.
Angel luis Posted March 12, 2014 Posted March 12, 2014 No contact is working for me in the sense that I'm getting over this girl who decided to end our 5 month relationship. I was okay with it when she told me her decision. I let her know that I was okay with it on the phone. I think I walk away like a boss. She contact me a week after to pick up some movies but I let her know she could go and pick them up when I'm not there. (Acting like I do t wanna see her,) she never pick them up. Again she text me a week later saying" what are you doing later" never texted her back. I'm pretty much over it and believe it not, I'm moving on. It been a 6 weeks of no contact and I'm feeling better each day.
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