barbossa Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I am friends with a girl. She just got out of a 6 year relationship. (6 months ago) emotionally she is not ready to date. in my opinion anyway How can I ask her to be Friends with Benefits without being so direct about it?
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 You can't. Ugh. Your post reads like you found this emotionally vulnerable woman who you want to use for your own pleasure without giving her any thing in return. She's going to take your request more badly then I did. If you care about her & want something to develop don't push her emotionally, physically, or sexually. If you are hanging out & it happens organically that's one thing. If you want to date her, back off for now before you get friendzoned. If you really just want to have sex with her, find somebody else because right now you will hurt her. 4
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 No u can't!! She will just think u are shallow & using her! x if u like the girl then stick around just don't be heavy but what ever u do do not ask for fwb lol x
Barbarossa Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Never ask a girl to be your FWB just turn her into your FWB 2
iDrumKing Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I am friends with a girl. She just got out of a 6 year relationship. (6 months ago) emotionally she is not ready to date. in my opinion anyway How can I ask her to be Friends with Benefits without being so direct about it? Dude it doesn't matter what your opinion is... Stop taking advantage of the situation... 2
Frank2thepoint Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 If you are hanging out & it happens organically that's one thing. Read this as "if you are hanging out and it happens organically, meaning she asks, then it's good. But if the guy asks, then it's completely creepy and taking advantage of the situation". LOL, oh the semantics.
mr_dave Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 You don't seem to be a particularly good friend OP, more of a circling vulture. How long have you wanted to plough her? 1
J21 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Way to be a predator. If I knew the girl in question I'd tell her: "Git to da chopper!! Naow!!!" 2
RedRobin Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I am friends with a girl. She just got out of a 6 year relationship. (6 months ago) emotionally she is not ready to date. in my opinion anyway How can I ask her to be Friends with Benefits without being so direct about it? I dunno... do like lots of other guys do... tell her everything she wants to hear, and then after you start having sex, make sure you only talk to her when you want sex. You don't plan dates... you just ask to 'hangout'. If she asks if you are just looking for a hookup or FWB, then you lie and say of course not.
ascendotum Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) Dude it doesn't matter what your opinion is... Stop taking advantage of the situation... The reality is some guy/s is going to take advantage of the situation. It does sound tacky when he comes on to post about it though. There is a good chance that when she is going to be out with friends soon, some player is going to crack on to her, and she going to go for it to cheer herself up & boost herself esteem. For this guy though not getting in a serious relationship is going to be his MO. He has a lot going on in his life at the moment & is recovering from some heartache & is just not ready at this stage for a relationship. Being a decent looker she wont mind (nod to zoofu) and will say that suits her current situation too. The difference is this player gives less of a stuff about her , knows whats he's doing, probably better looking and certainly would not be posting to give or get advice on LS. Edited March 6, 2014 by ascendotum
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Read this as "if you are hanging out and it happens organically, meaning she asks, then it's good. But if the guy asks, then it's completely creepy and taking advantage of the situation". LOL, oh the semantics. Sort of. If she wasn't fresh off a break up I'd have less of a problem with him suggesting it. I also guess my response could have been phrased better. FWB isn't really something you ask. It's more like one person makes a move & the other says I don't want a relationship. Then somebody suggests this. My "point" is that before you can have this conversation, you have to have a mutual attraction.
ktya Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I am friends with a girl. She just got out of a 6 year relationship. (6 months ago) emotionally she is not ready to date. in my opinion anyway How can I ask her to be Friends with Benefits without being so direct about it? Have her over for drinks. Get a little loaded. Hit that ****, kiss her. Make out. Take it as far as you can go. When she says, "But we are friends... we shouldn't be doing this" just tell her something to the tune of "I know its bad...", "nobody needs to know" or "I've wanted to do this for a long long time" and never ever drop the LOVE bomb or girlfriend during or after the act. Afterwards you can hold her (be sure to do that because you don't want her feeling used) and make mention of how its awesome to have a friend like her but don't lay it on too thick and shut up if you can tell she doesn't feel like talking. From there on in shes gonna either avoid you like the plague (feeling dirty) or be awkward around you (not sure what to think) or move towards a relationship with you. Just keep it to friends and sneak kisses and schedule hookups and your off to the races. But beware. If she takes your initial advance the wrong way shes going to be angry and you might not be able to talk to her for a long time.
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