ThursdayChild Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Hi everyone May I have your opinion on this please? My sister in law blocked me on Facebook a few weeks after I added her. I know this because she still has my husband and brother on. I don't know her THAT well- she is nice enough when I see her albeit a little standoffish. Should I say something to her or ask her why? Or just chalk it up to "it's just Facebook" and let it go? Thanks very much
GoreSP Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 My cousin's father in law did the same with me. I just assumed I was posting stuff on FB he didn't like. Or maybe he was going to post stuff he thought I wouldn't like... If she is civil with you in general, I wouldn't read too much into it. 2
isisisweeping Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 I might ask her. I once blocked someone on accident. I hide people if I don't like their posts.... If I block or unfriend I have a problem with them personally and seldom do that.
90s kid Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 It's not worth bringing up. It'll only make you sound petty. Blocking you doesn't necessarily mean she has a problem with you. I've blocked a ton of people on facebook, not because I have a personal problem with them but because I post things that I don't necessarily want them to see. I blocked a bunch of my co-workers because I want them to see me professionally and I don't want them to know too much about my personal life.
TigerLilly78 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Ive blocked family before but on my end it was cause we were distant in real life for like ever so I saw no point to pretend to be all "happy family" on a internet blog site all of a sudden. In all honesty I have very few fb friends by choice I value quality over quantity. Guess the moral of the story here is there can be any number of reasons she did it. Maybe shes like me and reserves that kinda stuff for only close friends and family.. I also do a block once I remove anyone on any social media to avoid the awkward questions and nasty comments that could come afterwards...
Author ThursdayChild Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 Ive blocked family before but on my end it was cause we were distant in real life for like ever so I saw no point to pretend to be all "happy family" on a internet blog site all of a sudden. That's kind of what I'd been thinking. She is nice enough when I see her, but she is rather standoffish and definitely keeps a distance.
Pompom Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Blocking is a sign that goes way beyond hiding or unfriending: Hide friend: this friend's updates will no longer show in your news feed but you can see what they post by accessing their timeline. You'd do this when you like someone, but they post too much stuff you don't like. Like Debbie Downer, or the radical vegan with all those pictures of dead animals. Unfriend: You decided you are no longer friends, because you've grown apart, aren't in touch, or you don't feel you like that person much anymore. Block: you make it mutually impossible to see or interact with the person at all. That is very radical and speaks volumes of how you feel about this person. It means you would prefer to have nothing to do with them. You don't want them to be able to write you, to invite you anywhere, to like your stuff, anything. Within Facebook, you no longer exist to one-another. My cousin once blocked me. We didn't fight, I did however post a status once of how I "loved" a certain uncle - his father - stealing my share of our grandmother's heirloom. You can usually trace back why someone blocked you, unless they had a hidden grudge. But it usually isn't a good sign for your real life relationship either because obviously, blocking is like a virtual restraining order and says: I don't want to interact with you, I don't want your updates, I don't want you to see what I'm up to. So when someone blocks you and stays friendly in real life, they have a problem with you and think they're nice by hiding it. Or they're too uneducated on Facebook use to limit what they see from you without such radical steps...
Author ThursdayChild Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 So when someone blocks you and stays friendly in real life, they have a problem with you and think they're nice by hiding it. Or they're too uneducated on Facebook use to limit what they see from you without such radical steps... Exactly why I wanted to know if I should approach it. She is not rude to me at all and is polite like I said but certainly doesn't act like my BFF or anything lol
AnneT1985 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) I personally would not address it and this is why. You may have completely different ideas about what it means to reach out and have a relationship with someone. She may actually be trying to maintain as best a relationship as possible with you by putting up such boundaries. She is quite possibly completely unsure about your relationship status and is trying to be mature in the process and not make a big deal about things and that's why she appears standoffish, especially if you don't know her that well. I would not take it as a hateful or passive aggressive gesture, and I might contact her asking what's new with her and her life, and reach out that way. Finally, it really is just Facebook. People sometimes take it way too seriously. Unless she is cruel to you, blocked your phone number/email, refuses to speak to you, returns your mail or has a restraining order on you, I'd definitely let it go. I truly hope this helps:) Edited March 8, 2014 by AnneT1985
AnneT1985 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 It's not worth bringing up. It'll only make you sound petty. I agree with this
Pompom Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Thing is, at this day and age you can filter out precisely who sees what of the stuff you post without so much as unfriending anyone. Meaning that you can give a different image to your coworkers than you do to your family, to John or to Jill. Every post allows you to say: make visible to Public, friends only, friends except some of your custom groups, only your custom groups, or even "friends except this and that individual". The only option where you cannot exclude anyone from viewing a post, is Public. Can't say "Public but not...". You can add your boss and post statuses about what a pig he is and he'd be none the wiser. The only reason I block people whom I don't have a problem with, is that they don't know me and I don't want them to. As an introvert I sometimes feel smothered by as little as a "Hi" from a stranger and block them, but when I know and want to know people in real life, blocking them on Facebook makes no sense as they have other means of contacting me, and also creates a feeling of "WTF did I offend you??". I have this friend who is often included in activities of mutual friends, so we do hang out, and on my initiative she even hung out with only me a couple times, and was involved in my surprise birthday party. But no matter what account (I had 2), I found she blocked me after some time, for no apparent reason. The first time, since she had several accounts too, I thought she'd just deactivated the one I was friends with, but then I checked using an account that isn't under my name. There she was. While I know there are things about me that offend or intimidate her, she's always so cheerful and "OMG that's so amazing" in my face, so when I found she blocked me, I was like, "Well, you don't have to pretend to like me if you don't". Exactly why I wanted to know if I should approach it. She is not rude to me at all and is polite like I said but certainly doesn't act like my BFF or anything lol Mh... since you said she's already standoffish and stuff... asking directly would make her defensive. Is there any way you can casually bring up the fascinating new social environment Facebook creates, and the general concept of blocking? Like asking at a family dinner why someone would block you or find themselves blocked, or bring up how important it is to you that people tell you when you've done something to offend them? I mean, let's put it that way. Unless she's really "Facebook-illiterate" and didn't know how else to limit the number of posts she saw from you, she probably already has a problem with you. Addressing it won't CREATE a problem, it'll just unveil an existing one. Perhaps make it more awkward, sure. But the problem exists, whether you ignore it or not. If you ask nicely, maybe it turns out you really just post too many downers or she was mad at you once and childishly blocked you, whatever.
AnneT1985 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Mh... since you said she's already standoffish and stuff... asking directly would make her defensive. Is there any way you can casually bring up the fascinating new social environment Facebook creates, and the general concept of blocking? Like asking at a family dinner why someone would block you or find themselves blocked, or bring up how important it is to you that people tell you when you've done something to offend them? I find that passive aggressive and akward. At the end of the day does it really matter? What happened before Facebook? Also wow! All those steps to hide this from this person and that sounds like a lot of work lol;) Also I definitely wouldn't bring it up after reading your other post about advising people on technology and parenting. It shouldn't be a problem then to be blocked no? xx
Author ThursdayChild Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 (edited) Thanks for everyone's opinions so far:) I posted a question on a somewhat similar issue in the friendship discussion if anyone has any thoughts on that. I appreciate the varied opinions. Edited March 9, 2014 by ThursdayChild
Scott0310 Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Is is possible she just removed you by accident, or as previously asked, accidentally blocked you? I recently removed my wife from my facebook friends list (we're separated and she wants a divorce so I'm trying to give her space and by doing so removing myself and her from me). And neither one of us shows up on the others account, nor on "Friends you might know" I dont think she has any idea I took her off...just as perhaps your sister-in-law might not.
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