gettingstronger Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Not really sure how or why , but the past few weeks we are really turned the corner and for the first time in 14 months have far more good days than bad ones. It could be all those firsts are behind us... First anniversary , first Christmas, and all that. If you asked me even three months ago if I thought I'd feel this much better now I would have laughed. Guess I just wanted to share for all of you fighting through that first year that yes, it does get better. Anyone else in a good place that wants to share or anyone in a not so good place need a pick me up ? 5
road Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Not really sure how or why , but the past few weeks we are really turned the corner and for the first time in 14 months have far more good days than bad ones. It could be all those firsts are behind us... First anniversary , first Christmas, and all that. If you asked me even three months ago if I thought I'd feel this much better now I would have laughed. Guess I just wanted to share for all of you fighting through that first year that yes, it does get better. Anyone else in a good place that wants to share or anyone in a not so good place need a pick me up ? Another reason to stay on the original thread. No past story. Do not know where you have been, are, or going. Thus an update post to your original thread would make getting your past easy. Thus appreciate where you are. Where ever that is. 2
Author gettingstronger Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 Not sure if I agree Road-does it really matter so much where I have been or where I am headed- all of our stories are similar and unique at the same time- but today, I feel good about me and my marriage-I could not say that even a few months ago-I think its a good thing for people that are just starting their journey to know that it does get better-time does heal-does not matter where you are headed-reconciliation or divorce-it does and will get better and you will not always feel like someone punched you right in the stomach every morning when you wake up Hope you are well- 1
burnside.rose Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 i happen to agree with road. doesn't really mean much (to me at least) without context. good for you for feeling better though.
Author gettingstronger Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 Hope you are well burnside. Enjoy your day!
Waverly Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I've really appreciated your support of me over on the OW/OM board. I'm so glad you're in a good space right now. I don't know your full story, but I know you've worked hard to get there. Here's to progress, no matter which side of this mess one is on! 1
FoolishOW Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Another reason to stay on the original thread. No past story. Do not know where you have been, are, or going. Thus an update post to your original thread would make getting your past easy. Thus appreciate where you are. Where ever that is. How exactly would one "stay on the original thread" when it most likely has a completely irrelevant title (at this point), and gives no indication or idea to the readers what the updated post will reflect? Wouldn't that just make for threads becoming a mile long with subtopics hidden and interspersed through out? "Gettingstronger" is right... the point of her thread doesn't require a back story, but if you can't find usefulness in what she's posted without reading through her entire story again (Why is that?), then spend a nano second of your own time and follow the steps below... 1) click on 'gettingstronger' 2) browse her previous threads 3) choose a relevantly titled thread, and... VOILA... back story. 5
compulsivedancer Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Things are going very well for us. The affair is not as present as it used to be. Btw, it helps not to spend too much time on LS, because what happens is it makes me think about the A, then he reads what I write and it's all a big trigger. And we end up giving the A a lot more time, without necessarily achieving any extra healing. 4
i am gutted Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 to not wake up feeling so sick in the mornings with the hurt and anxiety like it was straight after dday. We too seem to be having more days than bad but it is definitely a rough journey. Pleased that you are feeling so much better. 2
Author gettingstronger Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Gutted I remember those mornings as well. I have no idea how I survived them. I was not suicidal but I sure did not look forward to facing the day or my life. It was the worst time in my life and to know it was inflicted upon me by the man I love and married really really hurt. I glad you are doing better. How far out from dday are you? 2
Author gettingstronger Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 CD good way of putting it, not at present. I agree when it slips down the list of thoughts and interactions it makes life so much better. Cheers to you.
i am gutted Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Gutted I remember those mornings as well. I have no idea how I survived them. I was not suicidal but I sure did not look forward to facing the day or my life. It was the worst time in my life and to know it was inflicted upon me by the man I love and married really really hurt. I glad you are doing better. How far out from dday are you? I would wake at 4am and not be able to sleep and just wanna throw up! took a long long time! 3
frogss29 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 We are only four months past DD but are both working SO hard on working through things. I still wake up feeling stressed. I still have bad days/hours/moments. But we are really working things out.....as much as possible. We have taken time off work. We are talking/sharing/communicating.We are no longer two separate people on separate paths. One thing I truly know is we love each other.I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 3
BeholdtheMan Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) How exactly would one "stay on the original thread" when it most likely has a completely irrelevant title (at this point), and gives no indication or idea to the readers what the updated post will reflect? Wouldn't that just make for threads becoming a mile long with subtopics hidden and interspersed through out? "Gettingstronger" is right... the point of her thread doesn't require a back story A link to the original thread in the OP of this thread would've been helpful. As it is, his/her post boils down to "times were tough, things got better, I feel great today". LOL...okay, that's nice to hear. Do you want a cookie? Edited March 6, 2014 by BeholdtheMan
Author gettingstronger Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Do you want a cookie? I love cookies- thats so kind of you! Hope you are well- enjoy your day!
Author gettingstronger Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Froggs- You are pretty new on the path and I am sorry you are still in the waking up stressed phase- that was kind of my point (which apparently without the gory details is lost on some) no matter how we arrived here we are all walking a similar path- we all seem to have similar reactions to our very different stories- we are all human and we all suffer and hurt- I am happy for those that are finding peace, I am hopeful for those that are still in the throws of it and I am incredibly sad for those that instead of answering or ignoring decide they need to tell me how to write a post, it shows they are far from finding peace- Froggs-you will have more good mornings than bad eventually, it takes time- what struck me is you saying acting as one and I have found that as well- we are more united than before- wish it was for a different reason but we are here now- 3
FoolishOW Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 A link to the original thread in the OP of this thread would've been helpful. As it is, his/her post boils down to "times were tough, things got better, I feel great today". LOL...okay, that's nice to hear. Do you want a cookie? I think I found your problem, BeholdtheMan... you missed the really, really hard part of my post. This will help you... Spend a nano second of your own time and follow the steps below... 1) click on 'gettingstronger' 2) browse her previous threads 3) choose a relevantly titled thread, and... VOILA... back story. 2
i am gutted Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Gutted I remember those mornings as well. I have no idea how I survived them. I was not suicidal but I sure did not look forward to facing the day or my life. It was the worst time in my life and to know it was inflicted upon me by the man I love and married really really hurt. I glad you are doing better. How far out from dday are you? I survived those mornings in a bad way by staying in bed ...from July to October most of my days were in bed, medicated and under the covers. I have had depression and bad anxiety for many years, I was just starting to see the light and come right and then this ****e kicked me in the ar$e. back to square one......... hey I don't know if we are allowed or not but can we connect on facebook?? I cant message you on here? would be cool if we can....have a good day. 1
compulsivedancer Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I am gutted, I think you have to have a month and 50 or so posts under your belt to PM. I don't know because I passed the number long before I passed the time. If you go hang out in the "Water Cooler" area for a little while, you can easily pass that number. Don't post personal info on here for everyone to see. 2
Author gettingstronger Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 Yes my friend gutted, I would love to connect once we have both reached that milestone. Always nice to have someone to bounce stuff off of . 1
i am gutted Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I seem to have done a U turn lately.............over thinking and looking back has been making my days unpleasant to say the least. how you going
Author gettingstronger Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Gutting- no, no, no uturns my friend, please don't do that! I found a great center in yoga and it helps so much- is there something in particular you have done just for you since this whole thing started- something that keeps you grounded and centered-something about you and only you? If not, you need to- Also how far out are you from dday? I am 13 months and JUST started to feel good on a regular basis-
i am gutted Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I don't do much during the day, I never have..........I did go to the Buddhist centre here and did a meditation session and I did feel much better that night but I didn't go back last week...tonight at 530 is the next one so I think I will go back again. I have never had any goals really........I am a basic, stay at home type person, not into socialising much at all, don't really drink so don't go out pubbing or parties. I have always just focused on home, kids, husband and work. H wants me to get a hobby but I just don't know what I want to do. So yea this last week has been a bit poo. am waiting for my new psych doc to start as my other one ended up returning home to sth Africa which is a bummer cos he was awesome. about 8 months since Dday. the usual story - feel insecure and all that but every day is different....I did have a good few days the other week. I just want to get over this bull.
Author gettingstronger Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 How about yoga or running. Both are solitary but good for the soul. Went from a size 8 to a size 2, sometimes a 0 doing yoga. You are still pretty new to this path. Cut yourself a break. I also got way into cooking with my husband. Found good recipes that require lots of prep work. We have a glass or two of good wine , chat and whip up some amazing meals Be good to you and let me know how you are please.
i am gutted Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 well I not sure what sizing you use, I am overweight. started smoking again after having quit for 11 months. I know its not at all good but it the only vice I have. I am a size 18-20.............depending on make of clothes....ha. might try the cooking together thing, we don't really have a hobby we can both do together. where are you from anyway? I am in new Zealand. OMG running!! hahahahahahah you would feel the shakes alright. lmao 1
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