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How do I get her back? I realise I have dug a huge hole


Connorjaay

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LifeGoesOnMan
Okay now I'm just confused... Doing nice things will make her think I'm okay with the break up? Isn't that what I want!?

 

It's our last year in high school and we'll be passing each other sometimes.. Like this concert. How do I act? I mean so far, I just don't look at her and try laughing with mates going past, but I can't avoid her at this concert?

I also am quite friendly with one of her friends... Could I use this to my disposal?

 

One more hidden weapon... One of her friends thinks I'm hot and well, this is basically the last senior party... Spark any ideas?

 

 

 

there is no confusion here dude, you're not getting what im saying.

 

 

the only way it appears you are "gone" (which AGAIN, is the only way she will feel *that way* again, and will want you back)

 

 

IS TO GIVE HER NO ATTENTION AT ALL, WHATSOEVER.

 

 

that's whats indifference is, NOT CARING, not caring at all.

 

 

YOU CARE MAN, you wanna give her watches and kiss in the rain still while drinking pina coladas

 

 

SHE DOES *NOT* FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU.

 

 

get it?

 

 

you doing nice things makes you look like a sap, an unattractive, desperate sap because she is giving you NOTHING in return.

 

 

and it will only set you back.

 

 

you f'n ignore her dude.

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Ok, you're in highschool. That makes more sense now. No trick, weapon, scheme will help you. Doing "nice things" as you put it, will let her know that she can treat you poorly, walk away from you, and you'll always be there. You can't want that. At the concert, have fun. If she comes up to talk to you, fine. (don't kiss her!) but don't go out of your way to go over to her...just be natural. i'm sure there are plenty of other ppl around you can talk to. And as far as the friend that thinks you're hot, well if you like her too, go for it.

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LifeGoesOnMan
Ok, you're in highschool. That makes more sense now. No trick, weapon, scheme will help you. Doing "nice things" as you put it, will let her know that she can treat you poorly, walk away from you, and you'll always be there. You can't want that. At the concert, have fun. If she comes up to talk to you, fine. (don't kiss her!) but don't go out of your way to go over to her...just be natural. i'm sure there are plenty of other ppl around you can talk to. And as far as the friend that thinks you're hot, well if you like her too, go for it.

 

 

 

its even better he's in high school because if he FOLLOWS the advice we are giving..

 

 

he will look like one bad motherf--k'in dude, walking away, acting like "eh bitch, your loss".

 

 

indifference, it drives them crazy man!

 

 

im 26 dude, ive been with more girls than I can count on two hands, had a few significant long term relationships too man.

 

 

there is a reason girls like bad boys, okay? because they don't care, they don't give a f--k, they know theyre bad and they know there are other girls out there that want him, because hes a bad motherf--ker.

 

 

feel me kiddo?

 

 

cmon man

 

 

BE THE MAN.

 

 

not the little desperate heartbroken high school sap.

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Okay okay I'm starting to wake up a little but here hahaha (finally?)

Just put me in place if I start talking crap again.. Because I am a nice guy and I know what she has lost. I was probably too easy to get for her as I didn't think she liked me back etc..

 

With the mutual friend... Perfect way to find out and necessary information? As in if the girl takes an interest in me again, the mutual friend will probably mention it.

 

As for the girl who thinks I'm hot well... If I made out with her in front of this girl, she was the one who told me she thought I was hot when we were together, so she'll know I'll be doing it to get at her? Won't she think I'm just trying to get at her? Will that make her think about what she lost?

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organizedchaos
Okay okay I'm starting to wake up a little but here hahaha (finally?)

Just put me in place if I start talking crap again.. Because I am a nice guy and I know what she has lost. I was probably too easy to get for her as I didn't think she liked me back etc..

 

With the mutual friend... Perfect way to find out and necessary information? As in if the girl takes an interest in me again, the mutual friend will probably mention it.

 

As for the girl who thinks I'm hot well... If I made out with her in front of this girl, she was the one who told me she thought I was hot when we were together, so she'll know I'll be doing it to get at her? Won't she think I'm just trying to get at her? Will that make her think about what she lost?

 

IT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN WHAT SHE THINKS ANYMORE.

 

Damn man, stop it. Just stop it.

 

You're in high school.

 

None of this matters.

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LifeGoesOnMan
Okay okay I'm starting to wake up a little but here hahaha (finally?)

Just put me in place if I start talking crap again.. Because I am a nice guy and I know what she has lost. I was probably too easy to get for her as I didn't think she liked me back etc..

 

With the mutual friend... Perfect way to find out and necessary information? As in if the girl takes an interest in me again, the mutual friend will probably mention it.

 

As for the girl who thinks I'm hot well... If I made out with her in front of this girl, she was the one who told me she thought I was hot when we were together, so she'll know I'll be doing it to get at her? Won't she think I'm just trying to get at her? Will that make her think about what she lost?

 

 

 

its cool man, I get it, seriously, all I did was argue with everyone's advice the first few months of my break up too.

 

 

I didn't follow all the info I am giving you and guess what?

 

 

it got me no where, it got the girl I was with for 6.5 years in bed with another man for a few months.

 

 

until I started seeing another girl for a couple months and guess what?

 

 

she broke things off with the dude and we got back together, (until I broke things off with her but that's a totally different story and does not apply here)

 

 

as far as the mutual friend , now listen carefully here..

 

 

YOU DO NOT WANT ANY KIND OF INFO , YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW, WHY?

 

 

BECAUSE YOU DONT CARE MAN!!!!!!!!

 

 

and you wanna know what she will think when she sees you with another girl?

 

 

she will think OH F--K, and those feelings she says she doesn't feel? they will come rushing back and in a big way.

 

 

the problem here is you don't want to break someone else's heart or play with their emotions.

 

 

best thing to do is disappear as best as possible for awhile, but if you can hook up with this girl and have your ex know about it?

 

 

it will strike up something fierce, and that's a promise dude.

 

not saying you will get back together but it will have her thinking...and thinking HARD.

 

 

but you don't care, remember?

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Just an update on things guys.. This is pretty ****ed up so be warned.

 

She was telling the truth when she said that it was I thing I did.

 

The whole time, I was being used to get her ex bf back... The ex that she really liked and all he wanted was sex. She found out and became unresponsive and he walked away after 2 weeks.

 

Anyway... The first party we were at together.. We kissed a lot and spent the night in each other's arms. Her ex was there.

 

Everything.

 

Missing me after a day, drunk dialling me all the time, falling asleep on me, telling me a was different...

 

Everything.

 

All to get this jerk back.

 

I mean at the party I actually ill owed the advice and I started believing myself. Although I haven't moved on, I actually didn't care - nothing I could do or say would change anything.

 

Obviously I want revenge. But I don't see why I should even bother.

 

If honestly didn't think one person could be so cruel...

 

Giving me false hope when we were breaking up.. Telling me I was good enough and more than good enough etc etc. saying it could be just because of her "anxiety"...

 

****... I feel so used and helpless.. Just how!? How can someone go to that extent!?

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Simon Phoenix

Because she's selfish and because she doesn't respect you. She saw you as a wuss that she could use to get what she wanted and she was right. You were a wuss.

 

Now you can't control how she treats and uses other people. That's on her and she'll get burned someday. What you can control is how you act. Being a "nice guy" isn't some code for being a pushover wallflower.

 

Women don't necessarily like a*holes, but what they do like are men. Guys who know what they want, who are confident, who aren't afraid to be themselves, who aren't going to turn into a gooey, emotive mess when a girl shows interest. Because many a*holes show these traits, and because many young women don't really know how to tell the difference between a confident, charming, cool guy and a douchebag player, that's why guys like that tend to clean up while guys like you tend to get "used". The way you act is not attractive and just sets yourself up as an easy mark. I mean, I was cringing at almost every one of your posts ITT. Life is not a romantic comedy -- acting like a love-torn sap doesn't get the girl -- it drives her away.

 

Don't try to get revenge on her. It's not worth it and, quite honestly, you'll probably mess it up and fall further into the abyss. Just learn from this and move on. Work on being confident in yourself. If you are confident in yourself, you'll project a strength that women will be drawn to.

 

I'm sorry you went through this, but if you learn from it, it can be beneficial for you.

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Lesson learned I say.

 

It's hard, yeah. Someone who was organising the future with you and ugh.

 

I don't have a need to seek out revenge. The guy she used me for only wanted sex off her. She's a virgin and well if you want to be used for your first time then okay hahahaa

 

The guy is below me in terms of a person. He (tries to) looks down on everyone and well... She can have him hahaha

 

I learned a lot from my experience and from you guys on this site an I mean it when I say thank you :D

 

I don't know if I'll have a further need to use this site but I'm off to chase my dreams and I'll just see where the wind takes me

 

*cheesy inspirational speech over* hahahaha

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Okay, so you put on an act of indifference and succeed in getting her back...what then? Spend the rest of your relationship pretending not to care?

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Just an update on things guys.. This is pretty ****ed up so be warned.

 

She was telling the truth when she said that it was I thing I did.

 

The whole time, I was being used to get her ex bf back... The ex that she really liked and all he wanted was sex. She found out and became unresponsive and he walked away after 2 weeks.

 

Anyway... The first party we were at together.. We kissed a lot and spent the night in each other's arms. Her ex was there.

 

Everything.

 

Missing me after a day, drunk dialling me all the time, falling asleep on me, telling me a was different...

 

Everything.

 

All to get this jerk back.

 

I mean at the party I actually ill owed the advice and I started believing myself. Although I haven't moved on, I actually didn't care - nothing I could do or say would change anything.

 

Obviously I want revenge. But I don't see why I should even bother.

 

If honestly didn't think one person could be so cruel...

 

Giving me false hope when we were breaking up.. Telling me I was good enough and more than good enough etc etc. saying it could be just because of her "anxiety"...

 

****... I feel so used and helpless.. Just how!? How can someone go to that extent!?

 

Do you mean she used you and gave you false hope like you were thinking of using and leading on another girl to make HER jealous? Cruel, eh?

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