davedub16 Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Hey Ive read alot of mails here and decided to write on this to see if anyone could give me some advice... I was with my girlfriend for 2 years andthe relationship was great , the last few months thought she became more selfish and went out with her friends more and spent less time with me, Im 27 and shes 22 so I suppose its just an age thing but we always were good when together, we bROKE UP IN October but continued to try and work on things and then 4 weeks ago we both decided to end things for good. I realised then that I wanted this and wanted to work on things, she said it wasnt best and when she came to get her stuff form my place she could not face me as she said it was too hard for her to see me so I had to leave her stuff out while I was away. She defriended me from facebook and blocked me on whatspp and she says she finds it too hard to see me on them.( You see im confused if she doesn't want this then why would she do all that) She text me for the week after the break up saying she missed me etc and I ignored them up until the second week where I tried to chat to her about us, she said she was happier without me and didn't think she loved me anymore which was hard to hear, I asked to meet her and she said it was too soon for her to see me.... I took that as final closure and said thats fine and I accept what your saying and started a 30 day no contact, it was going very well up until friday where I went for drinks with friends and when I walked into a bar she was there on a date with somebody else, it was hard to see but wasnt too bad, when her date went to the toilets I went over and said a brief hello and told her to enjoy her night, she said i looked well and was good to see me, she was very awkward thought proberly because she was there on a date.. the next day she sent me a message on facebook saying "out of all the nights to see you! You looked well and happy so hope your good", i didnt know whether to reply to this as Im doing a no contact and was a bit hurt by seeing her with someone else, I don't know how to take the text to be honest and don't know if there's still a chance there .... i mean she says she happier without me and doessnt know if she loves me but cant see me on Facebook or anything... part of me thinks she could be going through the grass is always greener syndrome? If anyone could give me some advice or comment id appreciate it thanks 1
lvroflife Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Hey buddy. Sounds like breadcrumbs to me. She didn't say the magic words of "I miss you and want to work this out". There us no need to respond she blocked you remember. But you ultimately decide what you want to do. If you decide to respond keep it short and light. Just assimple "thank you" is good. I got the breadcrumbs last night and just said "Ty". I'm mad because I shouldn't have said anything. 1
Author davedub16 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Yeh I know when she talked to me two weeks ago she says she misses me as a person but not the relationship... Im gonna have the upper hand and just say nothing leave her wondering...just dont know why she sent the message as there was no point to it
lvroflife Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Yea. Mine went on my FB last night and liked a pic I put up 4 days ago. Then 3 hours later text me and said "happy your in Vegas!!!! Enjoy". WTF!!
Author davedub16 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 its like shes trying to keep you on side? Mine liked a pic of me on instagram have no idea why
lvroflife Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I don't know. But we were NC FOR THE PAST 3weeks. I thought this was the girl I was going to marry. When I seen her number (not her name I deleted her) I got happy/angry/sad. Had to wait several minutes before I looked at the text
pepperpot2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Sorry to hear of your break up. She sounds like she was surprised to see you and felt that she had to say something to you. She moved on very quickly. From my experience I would not respond. Not to be nasty but not to get into a conversation. It's hard but just leave her guessing and have no contact. If she wants you she will find you. 1
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 dont get me wrong ive been on my fair share of dates and we werent getting on for a good bit at the end of the realationship im just missing her more now and suprised she didnt text saying she hoped i was ok cos it was hard to see... i jst am a bit confused as she told me after she broke up she didnt want anyone else but a week later she said she didnt think she loved me anymore... im continuing to go no contact as its best for me and keeps her wondering im not sure if she will come back anymore who knows though I just dont know why she sent me such a vague and crap message if im being honest 1
herself Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 You will go through a rollercoaster of emotions so stay strong, things will get better, you already faced everyones fear head on seeing her out with someone else. Bravo, but she saw you out having fun moving on. Let her date a few jerks. Your much better off.
bubblesbursted Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 dont get me wrong ive been on my fair share of dates and we werent getting on for a good bit at the end of the realationship im just missing her more now and suprised she didnt text saying she hoped i was ok cos it was hard to see... i jst am a bit confused as she told me after she broke up she didnt want anyone else but a week later she said she didnt think she loved me anymore... im continuing to go no contact as its best for me and keeps her wondering im not sure if she will come back anymore who knows though I just dont know why she sent me such a vague and crap message if im being honest Hey dave I can very well say we are facing the same thing. My ex of 3 years left me last month saying the same thing , "I dont love you anymore and I want to be single" , a week later he was with someone else. No matter what is happening on in their mind/hearts , just remember its over. Dont keep any hope Dave , I know it may sound harsh but she isnt coming back and about the other night when she saw you , I am pretty sure she was surprised to see you out and just threw a breadcrumb. Let her date who the hell she wants. Just remember you are free now. Go NC , thats what I am doing, thats what we all do. If possible, dont reply to her text. I am here if you want to talk. I hope you feel okay soon. This shall pass as well.
David87 Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 She just sent you a breadcrumb, next time ignore it. Remember that you're doing NC only for you and during this time improve yourself, your looks your confidence and always remember that this won't last forever.
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 hey dave 87 and bubblebursted thanks for your advice and words i appreciate them.... i did ignore that text as i didnt want to talk to her anymore i was just annoyed she said nothing about how sorry she was or maybe how hard it was to see me.... i dont understand what you mean by breadcrumbs? i just dont understand why she bothered to text me proberly to ease her conscience... it is getting easier day by day ive had my difficult days but will keep going with no contact and take your advice...i defo thought we might have got back after time and maybe her seeing me while on her date might have meant something but it obviously didnt she is as heartless as i thought im happy for her and i hope she will to when i decide to date someone else... your words have really helped thabk you 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 hey dave 87 and bubblebursted thanks for your advice and words i appreciate them.... i did ignore that text as i didnt want to talk to her anymore i was just annoyed she said nothing about how sorry she was or maybe how hard it was to see me.... i dont understand what you mean by breadcrumbs? i just dont understand why she bothered to text me proberly to ease her conscience... it is getting easier day by day ive had my difficult days but will keep going with no contact and take your advice...i defo thought we might have got back after time and maybe her seeing me while on her date might have meant something but it obviously didnt she is as heartless as i thought im happy for her and i hope she will to when i decide to date someone else... your words have really helped thabk you Breadcrumbs , Its something your ex does. When your ex (who is also the dumper) contacts you in a vague way, asking how you are doing. Saying everything other than those magical words "I want you back" . This is usually done to boost their ego and see if you are still stuck up on them. You can read more about NC here - > http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion And Dave, let go of the hope. To be honest, (I cant believe I am actually saying this ) I was at your place once, though it has been a month only , I have let go of the hope. Let her go have fun, get her heart broken , its none of your business anymore. Go out, have fun try and distract yourself. She would never text you what you want to hear. Too much dumper's pride I am guessing. Keeping holding on!
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 bublesbursted thank you so much for your kind words it defo seems like she gave me breadcrumbs and i wont be doing anything about it now if i did it would be me giving away the power i hope its made an affect on her me not replying but i wont hold my breath... its bothered me how shes moved on and was a bit cold to me at her date but i didnt expect anything less...if that was me i would have been worried i have hurt her but i never got any acknowledgement from her regarding it i want to block her on facebook to show her im not botherd and dont want her to email me on it but i dont think its a good idea for me 1
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 by the way what happened with you 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 bublesbursted thank you so much for your kind words it defo seems like she gave me breadcrumbs and i wont be doing anything about it now if i did it would be me giving away the power i hope its made an affect on her me not replying but i wont hold my breath... its bothered me how shes moved on and was a bit cold to me at her date but i didnt expect anything less...if that was me i would have been worried i have hurt her but i never got any acknowledgement from her regarding it i want to block her on facebook to show her im not botherd and dont want her to email me on it but i dont think its a good idea for me Yes! You are doing the right thing by not replying. Ignore the message. And I understand what you mean. I am so sorry but trust me keep NC strong and you will feel better soon! You might start thinking straight soon enough. You can block her on facebook infact thats what you should be doing. You dont want to "Accidentally" see something which would trigger much more memories and cause you pain , do you? Block her on facebook and her email if possible. Cut all the ties. by the way what happened with you Me. Well, my ex of 3 years (almost) broke up with me last month since suddenly he didnt "love" me and didnt want a relationship. A week later he is dating the girl I always hated , she liked him and all. Anyway, in the one week I kept contact he was cold and emotionless. So I get where you are coming from. But now it doesnt feel that bad. I am doing so much better Thanks for asking 1
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Sorry to hear that I think your ex will have to come back and regret his decision there is no way he cant thats just crazy but he seems a silly guy as thats something i have done in the past and regretted it so much but your doing great wello done... Im going to go ahead and block just to not have any interaction with her, what gets me is she seems to have moved on but defriended me and blocked me on facebook which confused me but shes a confused girl who had depression for a while near the end so it all contributed to our break up... shes not the same and when I tried to meet up with her a bit after the break up she said it was too soon and she couldnt see me as she wasnt ready, she will only be ready when she moves on i imagine shes selfish that way 1
bubblesbursted Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Sorry to hear that I think your ex will have to come back and regret his decision there is no way he cant thats just crazy but he seems a silly guy as thats something i have done in the past and regretted it so much but your doing great wello done... Im going to go ahead and block just to not have any interaction with her, what gets me is she seems to have moved on but defriended me and blocked me on facebook which confused me but shes a confused girl who had depression for a while near the end so it all contributed to our break up... shes not the same and when I tried to meet up with her a bit after the break up she said it was too soon and she couldnt see me as she wasnt ready, she will only be ready when she moves on i imagine shes selfish that way Its fine even if he does come back , I dont think I would be taking him back. I am so much better without him Secondly, If she has already defriended you then you dont have to do anything anymore. Dont add her back or block her , let her be. She doesnt deserve your attention after putting you through so much. Just chin up and smile on! 1
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 She text me again tonight... "I still think about you everyday and night and I know you probably think I've moved on but I haven't. I miss talking to you and knowing how you are. I really do hope you're keeping well " I just dont know what shes doing again i just cant bring myself to replying to her anymore
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Im right to keep the NC going amnt I
shinealight Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 You are she sounds like she has moved on. Good luck
Author davedub16 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 how does she sound like shes moved on?
Author davedub16 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 i feel shes going mad now cos shes losing control and i aint replying maybe im wrong 1
Trep Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Yep, stay no contact. She's just fishing for responses to keep you on the back burner and give herself an ego boost. 1
Author davedub16 Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 yeh part of me thought is she reaching out letting me know she isnt moving on but your prob right its most possibly and ego boost im going to stay strong and ignore her and will again wreck her head
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