[Viewpoints on] infidelity in different cultures

[snappytomcat]

ive always thought about this,but a lot more since dday.

iam half Mexican,all my family lives a 3 drive away in mexico,I go and visit a lot,my heart is there I love it.

growing up,i always knew that the men all cheated on their wives,even at a young age I knew this,i mean it was obvious,they would all go to the next town,where they had a lot of whore houses,and sometimes there shirts would be inside out,or not buttoned right etc etc.

well I always got so angry that the women,would act like it was no big deal,or I really think they are in denial.

one of my cousins husband has another wife,and family in another town,as long as he takes care of his first family,she doesn't care.

no one talks about all this cheating,but it really used to tick me off.

growing up I only dated Mexican men,and I had a lot of boyfriends,i love Mexican men,but growing up,and my experiences I had it in my head they were all cheaters,so the only Caucasian man I ever went out with I married,and well turns out hes the one who cheated,the irony is he would also get angry when we went to mexico,cause he didn't like the men cheating(wtf???)did he say this because he was feeling guilty?i do believe in my husbands case,it was a huge mistake,he let things get to far,and I do know in my heart he would never do it again.

seems in mexico they are serial cheaters,years ago when I was about 19,we went for a big party,and I invited a good friend to go with me,well one of my cousins husbands kept flirting with her,in front of his wife,and later after lots of drinking,he cornered my friend,and tried kissing her,and she told him no,your married,and he said my wife knows her place.

well that was over 20 years ago,and I used to be really close to her husband,i thought he was great,but its still ackward when I see him till this day,i think what a pig(no offense to real pigs)

even I have been tempted to cheat once,when in mexico they are such passionate,welcoming people,and like I said I love Mexican men,but I can admire from afar,my husband knows I find Mexican men sexy,he doesn't care as long as I never act on it,and I never will its not in me,im not saying all people who cheat are bad,i think they are human and,and did a ****ed up thing

Edited February 14, 2014 by snappytomcat
missed something

[proseandpassion]

I would say some cultures are more accepting of infidelity. Mexican being one of them. I also had a Mexican boyfriend for a while who openly told me if we were to be together more long term, he'd cheat on me (but, he insisted, he'd "remain true to [me]" - my xMM was from Italy, and I also think Mediterranean cultures are also more embracing of that double standard.

[peruano99]

Jaja well I'm Peruvian and in my country having affairs is a really big deal. Once someone cheats, it's over. I don't know about Mexican men, but generally Hispanic men and women are very passionate.

[Sub]

I don't think it's necessarily accepted, at least in the newer generations of Latinos. A majority of the friends my W and I have are Latin. There are cases of older generations in each of their families having second families, being unfaithful, etc. Not so much with them now, especially Latinos living in the States. Part of the issue in some places is/was that Divorce isn't legal, so they just take up with someone else, or they go to another country and get a second wife/family. Ironically, though.....

 

My WW is Latin(Chilean), and her AP was Latin(Argentinian). I'm caucasian. We got into a conversation the other day about this, actually. She always said that she could never be in a relationship with a Latin man, because of the stereotypes (possessiveness, the machismo, the playing around). She used a Latin song as an example: the singer was talking about being concerned with the here-and-now, not worrying about tomorrow, getting caught up in the moment. It was very passionate, and there's a certain allure to it for women, IN THE MOMENT. But the flipside is how such impulsiveness isn't necessarily a good thing for a stable relationship. She's told me flat-out that even during the A, she knew it probably wasn't going to work because he was such an a**hole. I also know of a chat they had where he said he doesn't really think of the future, or what it will hold. I do think he's the exception, though.

[JDPT]

I'm Spanish and there is this ubiquitous fallacy, or at least from what I can perceive that women should "tolerate" I can only speculate, to a certain degree infidelity.

I grew up knowing or hearing about so and so cheating. And perhaps at a young age managed to internalize the concept that, hey shiet happens you know?

 

As far as I'm aware, I've never been cheated on my entire life. I was never subject to experience infidelity first hand and I can only imagine how painful it must feel. For that I'm thankful that my BU, and to my knowledge didn't revolve around infidelity.

[Eggplant]

he said my wife knows her place.

The core of it: women and men have very different social status.

[Radu]

I also met this double standard.

 

Technically my country is the easternmost country with a latin language.

But it's actually a mix between the mediteranean belief system, the eastern belief system and the local one in regards to stuff like this.

 

There is a tendency for misogeny in the rural areas, a strong belief that 'men will act this way, nothing that can be done', and many who believe this are also women.

I suspect women cheat quite a lot too, but in such a society, they hide it very well.