what to do when there are 4 involved

[Pantuuf]

I am well over 30 and have gotten tremendous advise from Grinning Maniac. What he has is good common sense and a very smart way of conveying this sense in advice to us. I have been around these boards for a while and please Grinning Maniac, do not stop posting your advice. Sometimes, the truth hurts but it always heals.

[Grinning Maniac]

Originally posted by KissMyTiara

GM - This is why although your "advice" and "comments" might be the same at times as, say, Immoralist, or Owl (gasp!), I am sorry to say this, but I will put more value in their opinion because THEY HAVE lived long enough, and THEY HAVE been through it all. You just haven't.

 

Yes, certainly people can and do learn through observation. But you can't rely SOLELY on observation as your wealth of knowledge. Scientists actually perform experiments to learn, they don't just read books and watch things explode. Baseball players get on the field and get up to bat, they don't just watch ESPN. Lawyers have to get out an argue before the court, not just watch Court TV. We here in this forum throw ourselves out there, we love, we get hurt, and we learn...we don't JUST WATCH Dr. Phil. If you, GM, are not getting hurt, if you're not experiencing the pain and joy that these experiences that we are having generate, then what you say doesn't really matter TO ME, it doesn't have that much weight, even if what you ultimately say is "right."

 

Like Leaf said, there is a HUGE difference between 32 and 22. The journey in "growing up" never ends. I can see how much I have grown just in the past 5 years, not even 10. So, just trust me. So what if you're ever wise and knowledgeable now? When you're 30 you're going to have a completely different view of the world and relationships - trust me on that. Right now you're just WAY too idealistic. THIS HERE is reality, not a psych textbook.

 

Ok then. I can respect that. It just makes you ignorant, in my opinion. That's all I'm saying.

 

You're basically saying that you would take what seems like bad advice from someone 70 years old, over what may be good advice from someone 17. Good job. Again...just because a person is older, it doesn't mean that they know what they're talking about. You referenced George Bush earlier. I assume you would take his advice on life then? He's a pretty old guy. He must be wise beyond belief...oh wait. Never mind.

 

Granted, there ARE some things for which age and experience are a prerequisite. I really can't give you any advice on doing your income taxes or how to properly fly a helicopter. But that's not the case for everything in life. For some things you really do just need common sense. To claim I'm too idealistic doesn't make a lot of sense. Shouldn't you want the advice of someone who's a little more unclouded by bitterness and regret? You could get some 50 year old broad here telling you that serially sleeping with married guys without protection is the best choice you could ever make. Her age and "experience" would mean that she's right? I'm sorry if your life is so miserable that "reality" for you can't exist without feeling obligated to roll around in as much chaos as possible. I'd like to stay clear of that, thanks. The older I become, the less I'd want to screw up, because the stakes are a lot higher. Wouldn't you say?

 

I have no doubt that my views on relationships will change some when I'm older. They change a little every day, and guess what, I know about pain. But you seem to be implying that when everyone "grows up" they'll all become lying, cheating pricks just like your married pal. Give me a break. You chose a complete loser as a bed buddy, ok? Guess who's fault that is? Yours. If you're deciding it's the best you can do, that's peachy keen. But don't try to convince the rest of us that the *entire world* is juuust like him. I mean really, does that subconciously give you some reason to stay or something? Everyone in the world is a cock, so there's no use in looking for people who'll treat you right? I'm real sorry that this guy f*cked up your head, babydoll. But don't confuse age, wisdom, and maturity... with arrogance, apathy, and a lack of self-control.

 

Sometimes idealism is a good thing. It keeps you from accepting bullsh*t...

 

 

PS: I actually hate Dr. Phil... and I'm not a "pup". Are you a "bitch"?

 

PPS: Thanks a lot to the people who enjoy my posts here. I blushed when I read all that stuff.

[izzybelle]

grinning,

 

i also enjoy reading your posts. i may not agree all the time, but then again, i have yet to meet anyone that i agree with all the time! and no, age isn't the only factor, but as we age our perspective on situations change. and perhaps age isn't the best term to use, it's more or a maturity thing. and some people old or young are insightful enough to give good advice, others could be ancient and still be fools. perhaps it's more of the "street smarts" that comes into play.

 

i know you said earlier in this thread that you learn by observation and in many cases that's how most of us learn about many things in life. but, also in many cases, having been through something does give you a different perspective. and sometimes, not always, talking to someone who has been through something similar is helpful. even if it's just a validation of feelings. when i first started posting here, i thought there was something very wrong with me. how could i feel so hurt by someone? just knowing that there were others going through the same rollercoaster of emotions was helpful. and knowing that some find their way out was invluable. does that just have to do with age? absolutely not. but just by the amount of time spent on the this planet, we're more likely to have other life experiences to draw upon. i don't believe that makes your advice less helpful, but you and i are at very different points in our lives. and i don't mean that where i am in my life is better or makes me more qualified, it just means that our take on a given situation may be very different. expectations, needs, responsibilities and all those other things change as we get older. and sometimes hearing a different perspective is helpful....and ultimately for all of us, it's up to us what we choose to listen to and what we don't.