blue963 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 She had said she is not having lunch with him. Please give her some type of kudos for doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
rumbleseat Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 It is possible for a M to reconcile even if the former Ap's have t work together, but it takes complete openness, honesty and communication. There is no room for any sort of hidden agenda, even if it is an innocent one. The Op ended up not meeting her former om for lunch, which is good, but it would seem that it wasn't really her choice to call it off, and that is troubling. The fact that the issues, whatever they may have been, were able to be resolved with a phone cal,would indicate that the lunch meeting was never really necessary at all, so why did the OP wish to have one? Op, it sounds like you would do well to really get tough with yourself right now. Really question everything when it comes to how you handle interactions with him, at least until you feel that you have completely moved on, and perhaps even after that. Ask your bs how much he wants to know about your interaction with him, even if it's 100% professional. Don't try and hide anything to protect his feelings, as that will backfire. one more thing. Stop worrying about your ex om. his life is his to live, and any backlash or fallout from his A is his to deal with, and you can't help him. If you have any positive feelings for him at all, then respect his wishes and leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 It is possible for a M to reconcile even if the former Ap's have t work together, but it takes complete openness, honesty and communication. There is no room for any sort of hidden agenda, even if it is an innocent one. The Op ended up not meeting her former om for lunch, which is good, but it would seem that it wasn't really her choice to call it off, and that is troubling. The fact that the issues, whatever they may have been, were able to be resolved with a phone cal,would indicate that the lunch meeting was never really necessary at all, so why did the OP wish to have one? Op, it sounds like you would do well to really get tough with yourself right now. Really question everything when it comes to how you handle interactions with him, at least until you feel that you have completely moved on, and perhaps even after that. Ask your bs how much he wants to know about your interaction with him, even if it's 100% professional. Don't try and hide anything to protect his feelings, as that will backfire. one more thing. Stop worrying about your ex om. his life is his to live, and any backlash or fallout from his A is his to deal with, and you can't help him. If you have any positive feelings for him at all, then respect his wishes and leave him alone. There never was a need to have lunch with the OM. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 She had said she is not having lunch with him. Please give her some type of kudos for doing that. It was her plan to meet him - but I got the idea he (OM) is the one who made that decision not to meet in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rumbleseat Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 There never was a need to have lunch with the OM. I agree, and the fact that the "problem"was solved via a phone call proves that. Link to post Share on other sites
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