notyouraveragebabe Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 (edited) I go to the gym everyday at the same time and mind my own business. One day a new face appeared and he caught my attention only because he kept walking by me. I focused on my workout and continued minding my own business. I was almost going to leave and saw him at the weight machine doing dead-lifts and I thought why not do some dead-lifts next to him. So I noticed him in the mirror checking me out. People would say I am a very attractive even at the gym. I continued my workout and normally I am very shy, but something made me talk to him. I took my earphones off and asked him "how much are you lifting?" The conversation began. He continued to talk to me and mentioning he was a member of a different gym and just switched gyms. He asked if I lived in the area. Turns out we're practically neighbors. yadi yadi yahh. We talked for a good 5 minutes. So I asked for his name and told him it was nice meeting him and continued with my workout. He worked out some more and left without saying anything. So I thought he wasn't interested or has a gf. 2 days later I see him again from across the gym and he sees me. He made eye contact and I did too. We locked eyes and he walked towards me locking eyes until I broke eye contact because I was nervous. I looked up he's in front of me and he smiles and waves hi. I'm a big dork, so I continued to walk away. (I should have taken my earphones off to talk- he had his off) So he left the gym which was the opposite way. So it was clear he made his way to come see me. I really want to know more about this guy and wanted to see what you guys think about asking him to "work out" together then exchanging numbers that way. Or Should I just wait for him to ask for my number? Edited February 2, 2014 by notyouraveragebabe
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Never wait for someone to make a move because he could be just as shy as you and you'll lose your opportunity. I also wouldn't beat around the bush because that would give him mixed signals. It'll also be a waste of time because you'll work out together a couple of times, you'll concentrate on a few work outs that might arouse him a little bit, and he'll try really hard not to get an erection. It makes for great foreplay, but that's after you get together. What you wanna do is be straight up with him: if you want to make sweet passionate love to this man, then just work out with him in a discreet area and ask him if he's interested in coming over sometime. Then you can ask him the big question. If you are interested in him romantically, then just say "would you like to go get a coffee sometime?" Keep it simple. 1
Secret Advisor Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Asking him to work out together is a confusing message. Try to talk to him a little bit more and if the conversation goes well, then suggest getting together for a coffee together some time.
DL2mer Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 Just ask him out the next time you see him. If things drag out it could possibly get a little weird and you'll miss your chance.
DL2mer Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 @OP.....read the comments in this thread Not sure that case completely applies here. Yes the op may have lost this one by dropping the ball and not pulling her earphones out and striking a conversation with this guy. The thing is I take it the op is a very attractive woman that is accustomed to men taking reigns and pursuing her, yet she really likes this guy and if she doesn't step up she will be dealing with what ifs for along time. The guy sounds like a meet me in the middle kinda person, so go get him! 1
preraph Posted February 2, 2014 Posted February 2, 2014 You froze and now he probably thinks you don't like him. I mean, he came toward you and you, like, ran off. All you can do, not knowing his situation at all, is slow down a little. Next time you see him, smile and go up and say hi to him and ask how's it going and then go work out and wait and see if he follows up. I mean, he could be taken, so until I found out more about him, I wouldn't ask him out. 1
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 3, 2014 Author Posted February 3, 2014 I don't know much about him and am afraid to get rejected if I do ask. He didn't mention anything about a gf when we talked. I will definitely say hi next time I see him and see what happens. I'll keep you posted. I can't wait to see him again. I could possibly say, "Have you made any special plans for your gf on v-day?" That will be subtle enough and at least I will get an answer from him. Thanks for all the feedback! 1
DL2mer Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I don't know much about him and am afraid to get rejected if I do ask. He didn't mention anything about a gf when we talked. I will definitely say hi next time I see him and see what happens. I'll keep you posted. I can't wait to see him again. I could possibly say, "Have you made any special plans for your gf on v-day?" That will be subtle enough and at least I will get an answer from him. Thanks for all the feedback! That sounds like a good approach. If he is available don't be to subtle, be genuine with him. Good luck
notthathard Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 "Have you made any special plans for your gf on v-day?" Perfect! Dropping hints like these is the best way to go. It's direct enough for him to click without being too direct.
Neville107 Posted February 7, 2014 Posted February 7, 2014 WOW - is all I can say. nyaBabe - have you actually read your post? Should I ask him to workout or wait for him to ask for my number? - Really??? Are you delusional? The guy came over to you and you walked right past him without saying or acknowledging him at all. You unwittingly sent him the message: Don't talk to me and Leave me alone. If you really like this guy, YOU are going to have to mend the fences. This guy's interest in you is gone. If he's any kind of self respecting guy, he's not going to acknowledge you in any way, shape, or form. No smile, no eye contact, no hello - you're dead to him. So before you put the cart before the horse, if you want to pursue something with him - you're going to have to say hello first and feel him out. The good news is that guys are easy and given some time he may come around. You blew this guy off big time and speaking on behalf of most of the guys that go to the gym and have had this happen to them - you killed any potential that was there. Gym guys know they have other options so why should we put up with some chick that blows us off like that - we don't. The ball is in your court. Why were you nervous when you saw him the second time? You had already spoken to him and got his name. It wasn't as though he was cold approaching you. If you think he's worth it - go for it and good luck!! Also, to the ladies reading this - this is what you don't do when someone shows interest in you. By walking away and not saying anything you are sending the message that you're not interested and to leave you alone. On the other hand, if you want someone's attention in the gym: smile, make eye contact, and say hello (Also take off your headphones so the guy knows you want to make contact). 1
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 I did smile and say hi. He waved at me and I think he might of said something, but I had my earphones on and kept walking. It happened so fast. Then he left the gym, maybe he felt rejected? He came out of his way to come and say hi The exit was the other side of the gym. I been going back to the gym at the same time 1pm and haven't seen him since I'm thinking he was there at that time of day by chance because he was off and probably comes later in the day after work. Who knows? If it's meant to be it'll be. I will definitely approach him the next time and take my earphones off. I can't stop wondering about this guy who just appeared all of a sudden at the gym. He mentioned he just bought a membership and lives in the area, so its his local gym. I been single for 1.5 years since my break-up and have not met/seen anyone who has caught my attention like he has.
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 WOW - is all I can say. nyaBabe - have you actually read your post? Should I ask him to workout or wait for him to ask for my number? - Really??? Are you delusional? The guy came over to you and you walked right past him without saying or acknowledging him at all. You unwittingly sent him the message: Don't talk to me and Leave me alone. If you really like this guy, YOU are going to have to mend the fences. This guy's interest in you is gone. If he's any kind of self respecting guy, he's not going to acknowledge you in any way, shape, or form. No smile, no eye contact, no hello - you're dead to him. So before you put the cart before the horse, if you want to pursue something with him - you're going to have to say hello first and feel him out. The good news is that guys are easy and given some time he may come around. You blew this guy off big time and speaking on behalf of most of the guys that go to the gym and have had this happen to them - you killed any potential that was there. Gym guys know they have other options so why should we put up with some chick that blows us off like that - we don't. The ball is in your court. Why were you nervous when you saw him the second time? You had already spoken to him and got his name. It wasn't as though he was cold approaching you. If you think he's worth it - go for it and good luck!! Also, to the ladies reading this - this is what you don't do when someone shows interest in you. By walking away and not saying anything you are sending the message that you're not interested and to leave you alone. On the other hand, if you want someone's attention in the gym: smile, make eye contact, and say hello (Also take off your headphones so the guy knows you want to make contact). I did smile and say hi and he waved hi and might have said something, but it happened so fast. I kept walking and I still had my earphones on, so I couldn't hear. He made eye contact while walking to me too.
travelbug1996 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 find another guy. he's seems passive and they are the worst. never ask a guy out. just smie and let him take the lead. real men enjoy taking the lead.
mexcity Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) Babe. Out of curiosity, what was so attractive about this guy that made you take the lead? Women hardly make the first approach when they are attracted to a guy. Kudos for taking the initiative. Edited February 11, 2014 by mexcity
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 11, 2014 Author Posted February 11, 2014 Babe. Out of curiosity, what was so attractive about this guy that made you take the lead? Women hardly make the first approach when they are attracted to a guy. Kudos for taking the initiative. It was never my attention to hit on him or even say anything to him at all. I have never approached anyone before. He just happened to be doing the same exercise right next to me. As far as attraction goes, it was the way he carried himself and dressed. He wasn't too muscular, wasn't wearing tight shirts, or those tanks that muscular guys wear. He was an average guy working out. He wasn't trying too hard. He did walk pass me a few times and I thought he was kind of cute, but I didn't really care, now that I think about it, he must have noticed me first and walked by me to get my attention. Do you think he thought I was flirting by asking him how much he was lifting?
Neville107 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 Babe - he was hoping to get your attention by hovering. When you started to talk to him - he was game and thought you were too. The second time he saw you, he clearly wanted to speak with you and wanted to get a feel of how you perceive all of this. By being dismissive, he got the message that you're not interested - because if you were you would have stopped and chatted. Why were you in such a hurry? It seems that you had some interest in him and just threw this away. The reason you haven't seen him lately is this - he's landed in no man's land. He thought you were interested and then got blown off. If he goes at the same time he may run into you and then what? Will it be awkward, will she make eye contact, do I just ignore her? He doesn't know what to do at this time and so he's taking some time to plan where to go from here. As far as him being passive - he's not. He spoke with you, you got his name, and the next time he saw you HE came over and wanted to make contact. That's not passive. You say next time you see him you'll go and speak with him - be prepared for him to not be that receptive. He made his move and you rejected him. If you go and speak with him, he may feel that your just seeking attention since if you had any other interest in him you wouldn't have blown him off. That's his thinking. I hope I'm wrong - go for it and good luck
mexcity Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Dude's loss. It was handed to him in a silver platter and he could not close the deal. Lesson learned is "if there is mutual attraction, which obviously was present here, there has to be an exchange of phone #s" You never know if you will see each other again. The dude was supposed to ask since you had talked to him first.
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 It's been two weeks and I haven't seen him. I'll keep going and if it's meant to be it'll be. I'm sure I will see him again. Maybe he's been slacking at the gym. 1
Teraskas Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 find another guy. he's seems passive and they are the worst. never ask a guy out. just smie and let him take the lead. real men enjoy taking the lead. Lol, judging a guy's personality on a brief initial encounter. No wonder society has become so narrow minded and shallow these days. This qualifies as passive ? Since when do men ALWAYS have to be deadlocked in the gender determined role to initiate contact ? Sure, he didn't initiate but came around the 2nd time he saw her, yet she runs away when he tries to initiate a conversation. Thus giving him the general idea that she's not interested. If anything, I have respect for women who initiate. It shows confidence and usually comes across as an indicator of interest. 1
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 So anyways I'm kind of doing a happy dance right now. I went to the gym in AM and didn't see him. Then I had the urge to go again at night. Never have I gym-ed twice in one day, but the minute I walk in whooolaaaaaaaaaaa Alex is right there working out with a friend. I see him he sees me. I go and do some squats and I see him possibly staring at me. I walk by to get water and he turn around as i walked by and said "hi, long time no see". Then he asked how am I. I asked if he comes at this time and he says depends on his work schedule and that he works retail hours. Then he ask what time I normally come and I said it varies too. Then he introduced me to his friend Matt. I told him ok, I'll let you guys work out and he said "it was nice seeing you". I see him staring at me I think. So I work on another exercise and he walks by and says "nice" then he drinks water and walks by again with no earphones on. And gosh i got up to get my towel so he missed me. Then he was walking out and walks by and said "bye" That he had to leave. Then I said 'bye". Then I said "hey" as he is walking away and he turns around and I said "nevermind". Then he says "its Alex" (Like I don't already know). I said "I dont know when I'll see you again, but want to work out together?" he replied, (and looked shocked) "I normally go to the other location right next to my apt I was telling you about, but if you want to work out here, I can come tomorrow night". Then I said " Want to exchange numbers?" He looked confused again. I said, "you dont have to." Then he walks up towards me and says "yeah". He reaches for my phone and I gave it to him. He added himself and called himself. He asked when I come, where I worked, where i'm from, what school i went to. What nationality we were. We have a lot in common actually. Except he is FIVE years younger. He's 23. I'm 28. When I graduated from the college he just started and we went to the same university, but at different time. Moved down here from the same city up North. Both of mix races, but he's 23!!!! AND I think he might GAY. He acted fem fem, IDK maybe that's just him. He asked for my last name too and I told him I'll text it to him and I did. Then he responded, by saying he's going to work out tomorrow night. I told him I couldn't because of work and haven't heard from him. Well its been 30 minutes and he looked like he had to go somewhere.
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