Author Dorkette Posted January 15, 2005 Author Share Posted January 15, 2005 lol Have you told her how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Well years ago i did. But she has quite clearly stated on a few occasions that she only likes me as a friend. So even when she is all flirty, i cant do anything about it. I have to go by what she has told me several times before. Sometimes, you just miss that window of opportunity. And thats it. the guy she has now seems pretty good. She went away to mexico with him. And they've been going out for about 4 months now. I just dont want to deal with it anymore. And for me to say, 'you either go out with me, or im gone' wont really do much because she has a boyfriend right now anyways. I'd rather she wanted to go out with me because she is attracted to me, and not because i obligated her to 'or else'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 15, 2005 Author Share Posted January 15, 2005 I understand what you're saying. Plus I'm sure because of the friendship bond you two have formed it's even more difficult for you to just walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 I think its the right time to leave. I've grown enough that i can walk away and be ok, and so will she. Now wheres Mila Jovovich when i need her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by SuperFantastico I think its the right time to leave. I've grown enough that i can walk away and be ok, and so will she. Now wheres Mila Jovovich when i need her You don't mean that. LOL@Mila Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Ya i think i do. ......and mila would make it alot easier. So did your friend contact you today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 But can you? No I stayed away today. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Lol. are we the only two on this forum Can i ? well....i guess we will see about that. Longest i've stayed away was about 4 months. But this time, theres no anger involve, nothing was done to me or to her. I fell confident about this. I just hope she dosnt show up one day at my house wondering whats going on. But as far as phone calls go....i told my roomates to tell her im not home . Hopefully she'll get the message Well looks like its day 1 for you then. Join the club ....er i guess its day 15 for me. Love is like crack sometimes i think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 We might be. I was going to go out but then I thought NAAAAHHH. I'm sure she will try to contact you if you just up and disappear out of the the blue. Maybe that's what's needed in your case? I think my case is different (maybe not), actually I don't think I have a case at all. LOL I don't stay away for long because I'm always concerned about his well being, you know... If he's okay and all that good stuff. I have noticed that I'm a little calmer around him then I used to be. However, something must still be stirring in me if not I wouldn't care what his actions were. I know me. lol Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Oh your case is completely different for the simple fact that the both of you have chemistry. That was never really the case with us. I mean there are every once in a while where something seemed to be stirring. But i've become so confused over the years that unless she said 'hey i like you ' I couldnt tell it from her just being flirty. Those girl signals are lost on me. A flick of the hair, crossing of the legs in my direction. Im not a friggn mind reader!! Truth is i've never even got a kiss from her. But she still drives me crazy....quite literally Hey i think i hijacked your thread. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 That's okay, I know how you feel and if I can help, I'll be happy to so don't even worry about it. I think if I wouldn't of had those couple kisses I would of been okay. lol Ahhh signals, I've researched signals. When I don't understand something I turn to good 'ole Mr. Google he's great! I can find it for you and post it for you just so you can check her body language and stuff, if you see her again that is. Yeah we have a little too much chemistry. lol The kind that even other people notice no matter how much we try to hide it. Disgusting really (in a good way lol). I'm a hopeless romantic so I must ask... What is it about her that you love so much? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 hah. I'm getting my romance fix from buffy the vampire slayer right now the whole spike and buffy thing. Well i appreciate the help. I think a kiss for me would at least have given me some closure. It sucks because im the guy shes known the longest. All her other guys have come and gone but i remain. And her boyfriends even get jelouse of me!?!! But the fact is what i want they have. And thats her love, affection whatever. I suppose she loves me like a brother but that does squat for me. And i know shes 'comfortable' with me But as for her loving me like i did her, thats not gonna happen. or maybe in 20 years it will when we are all withered and about to die What i like about her. Well shes cute, has a twisted sense of humour like me. Is very adventurous and has a free spirit. Shes always traveling and living in exotic locations. Shes quite intellegent. Witty. Silly. She has a strength about her, even though she seems all helpless and girly She likes watching fighting When im with her the world and its problems dissapears. We always get into some kinda wierd trouble on vacations. Its miserable at the time but makes great stories. I owe her for helping me grow and mature as a person. I guess in a wierd way she is my own personal hero. Sounds kinda stupid. Worst thing(well not really the worst) but once we went on vacation and we met this cool couple from Utah. And for about a day they thought we were married because of the way we acted around each other. And the exact opposite was true. Can get much more unmarried than us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 LOL@Buffy Well wow sounds like you're in love! No a kiss would NOT have given you closure because you would of wanted more, trust me. lol Well him and I are not that close of friends, he's kept a safe distance. I have tried to remain a friendship but I think he's more comfy with a safe distance. Sometimes we start talking, laughing, etc. and then he'll back away abruptly. I don't know what his issue is. I've been somewhat of a pain in the azz, I guess I tried to kind of force him to remain friendly and he seems torned with that. He wants something, I just don't have a clue what it is. I know what you mean about your "personal hero", I feel that way too, I've grown A LOT because of him. I went through a couple of years of feeling like a tornado, my entire life was transitioning (which was a good thing) to where it was meant to be, me the person I am supposed to be. I know I am and will be a better person because of it/him. These are the types of stories that if they were to work out it would be like something out of a chick flick, shame they usually don't pan out in real life. I have accepted a lot, more than I thought I ever could, So I know that has made me wiser and stronger. I can feel myself stronger. Here's the link: Body Language Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 OH THATS WHAT IM DOING WRONG!!! This was the body language i was studying. http://www.rabbit.org/behavior/body-language.html Strange thing was she did all these things?! j/k Ya well i know im still in part in love with her. Its infected every part of my being. Gonna be hard to get it out, and will never get it completely out. It sucks that out of all her boyfriends, im the only one shes never gotten physical with. For years i thought that i was ugly, or somehow unattractive. I tried to change my image. Worked out like a fiend. Bought her stuff, ect. ect. Nothing worked. Then i figured out that you either like someone or you dont. Theres no making someone like you. They either do or they dont. And i would rather die than have her go out with me and pretend shes attracted to me. But that being said, I still like her. And thats my problem. I cant turn it off. No matter what i do. And its horrible. And you are right. It would be perfect chick flick material if it worked out. But I think its gonna be a horror story if i dont end it. It will end up like the grudge... hmmmmm maybe i could haunt sarah michelle gellars house AcK. the freddy prince junior would kill my ghost blek. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 Originally posted by SuperFantastico OH THATS WHAT IM DOING WRONG!!! This was the body language i was studying. http://www.rabbit.org/behavior/body-language.html Strange thing was she did all these things?! j/k Bunny hop/dance: A sign of pure joy & happiness! LOL!!! Did you know that 50% of the time when people say they are kidding they actually mean what they say? LOL There's no "part in love", either you do or you don't, so shaddap with that. That sucks that you felt unattractive. I can't imagine the things that were going through your mind. If only we could have a switch on/off, heh if life was that easy boy. I still like him also, The intensity of it has worn down because we haven't had much interaction, but he's still the only one that tickles me inside. I've been contemplating on dating this guy that has liked me for a while, but I just can't do it. I want to in order to just move on, but when I think about it, it really saddens me to wipe out the other guy. Sometimes it makes me feel like if I would be cheating on him, it's the weirdest thing. Never had a problem with dismissing guys before. hmmmmm maybe i could haunt sarah michelle gellars house AcK. the freddy prince junior would kill my ghost blek. LOL! I told this guy once that I would haunt him when I died, move his mouse around and stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Heh. Haunting would be fun.....for a bit. I think loving her has just become a habit really. Not even love anymore. The biggest problem and the whole point of me not having any contact with her anymore is the fact that i hold myself back because the faintest little hope she might like me one day. Hope is a dangerous thing it can save a man or break him. And for me, its stopping me from moveing forward and getting on with my life. Lot more fish in the sea. But with her around its like i become mesmerised. There could be the most beautiful women in the world, and i wouldnt even glance. Perhaps thats part of the reason she dosnt like me. too easy. Gave someone else in a different post the exact same advice. But being aloof isnt gonna help me. Being non-existant to her will. You seem more upset than me about this. Hopeless romantic indeed Start watching buffy. A great show, with very good writing. Romance humour, action. Everything. Sorta like a love resperator. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 I hate it when he gets aloof! It just makes me ignore him, I see it as him trying to play with my head, I can tell he does it on purpose. I really really dislike games, sometimes I'm forced to play them though. I don't know what his mission is or if he even has one but he likes to play mind games sometimes. I don't give in to those, anymore. Been a while actually. When he acts like that now I just ignore him and then talk to him another day when he's being himself. I can be really cold if I feel it's needed. Never been one to put up with 'men stuff', I value myself. He has gotten away with too much already. I'm beginning to get real busy these days with stuff, so that will help. I have already met a handful of people that are very interesting. I was tired of my friends already, the places they go and the things they do. I did shed a few tears while reading some of your stuff. I've seen a couple of episodes of the old Buffy. Haven't seen the new ones though. Is it really good? I heard it wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Well dont shed tears for me. I've gotten past the pain and come out on the other side, muchstronger. You have to watch buffy from the start or at least a full season to get into it. I use to not really care about it either. Sometimes just getting the upper hand is all a person wants. Thats where the mind games come in. Maybe he just wants to know he has you where he wants you. But nothing more. Its been along time as you have said. Perhaps it only happens randomly because everyonce in a while he wants to see if he still has it. Kind of an ego trip. Or maybe hes just in a bad mood and wants to hurt you just because. either way, its better you distance till you both have buisier lives with possibly signifigant others. then its ok, because the two of you as a couple wont really be an issue. so you can work from there. And maybe get a stronger healthier relationship out of it. And lucky you, you've got lots of stuff to do. In my line of work, this is the worst time/best(get to sleep in) because weather makes it so i only work a bit if at all. I got lots of time on my hands and not much to do with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 Or maybe hes just in a bad mood and wants to hurt you just because. ... I hurt him? Can't blame him really. Originally posted by SuperFantastico either way, its better you distance till you both have buisier lives with possibly signifigant others. then its ok, because the two of you as a couple wont really be an issue. so you can work from there. And maybe get a stronger healthier relationship out of it. Like double date? Me beginning to get busy is work related but I have met a lot of interesting people, no one I would like to date though. I'm not really looking. Things are slowly falling in my lap and I'm just taking them in stride, opposed to before that I used to go head-on and crash and burn. I think I like the stride better. I've had a lot of free time too, gets quite boring. I also had some sorting in my mind to do so I'm glad I sacrificed and did that. Your New Years resolution was to not talk to her anymore? (I noticed you said 15 days) Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Heh, very perceptive. Ya it sorta all happened round then. She went on vacation with the guy on christmas day. And her dating this guy didnt really bother me, till i heard she was going on vacation with him. Then i knew it was more serious. And on top of that she didnt even email me or anything. It made me very jelouse which caught me completely off guard. So this is sorta when i came to this conclusion. Even after all this time, i still am as weak against her as i have always been. And then i talked to her new years eve and it was kinda tense and wierd. So thats basically when i decided not to talk to her anymore. Double dating would be ok if you both had been going out with these people for a few months. But on the first few dates your feelings for each other would probably just mess stuff up Anyways honey. im tired. its 1:20 am here heh. Been talking to you for like 3 hours. I think your a fine gal, and its this guys loss if he wants to mess with you instead of date you. Good night.......er till tommorow Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dorkette Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 Nice talking to you too, you helped me sort out the loose ends. Thank you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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