Author winny Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 For your point in the highlighted part - No I have not In fact, this is my first time with dating. Earlier boyfriends were my long time friends... so it just progressed that way... I don't have any problem with he n me having sex. But I cannot go from kiss on mouth to sex the next time, all within a span of 9 days!!! If the 3 dates happened over 3-4 weeks, then it would have been bit different I guess. It was actually 7 days. Our third date was within the first 7 days itself... I cannot sleep so soon with someone...
TXGuy Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) If the 3 dates happened over 3-4 weeks, then it would have been bit different I guess. I would agree with this part. Three dates in seven days is a pretty fast pace. But the three date rule would still apply. Note that it did not necessarily have to be sex, but a progression of physicality. It sounds like this guy didn't even get under your shirt at the end of date three. Definitely eject. A reminder: if either one of you are under 30, the above does not necessarily apply. Under 30 has an entirely different set of guidelines. Edited January 31, 2014 by TXGuy Nine to seven
Author winny Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I would agree with this part. Three dates in seven days is a pretty fast pace. But the three date rule would still apply. Note that it did not necessarily have to be sex, but a progression of physicality. It sounds like this guy didn't even get under your shirt at the end of date three. Definitely eject. A reminder: if either one of you are under 30, the above does not necessarily apply. Under 30 has an entirely different set of guidelines. I think we have progressed physically. First date was brief kissing on mouth and hugging. Second date - More kissing on mouth and holding hands. Third date - Frankly I wasn't stopping him. I was just being alert n seeing where all he will go and what all he will try. Once his hands moved towards my crotch I just slightly guided it back. He himself limited it to kissing on my mouth and neck and feeling my breasts over my shirt. He didn't try anything more with my body. He said... am being turned on so much by you... and moved away... and so I just kept my head on his chest n we continued watching movie. Then he suggested that hand job thing and I said... Not today... I just need some more time... he said... yeah I know u do... it's okay... very softly n sweetly... not like he was offended or anything... so we went back to watching movie...
1zacksteele Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 @Winny If I like a girl, Im gonna want to take her on a date. If the Date goes Well, I'm gonna want to See Her Again. When I see her Again, I will be more attracted to Her. When I'm more Attracted to Her, I'm gonna want to escalate things with her. When that doesn't happen because the girl is becoming distant when we are in the moment… How does that make me feel
Author winny Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 @Winny If I like a girl, Im gonna want to take her on a date. If the Date goes Well, I'm gonna want to See Her Again. When I see her Again, I will be more attracted to Her. When I'm more Attracted to Her, I'm gonna want to escalate things with her. When that doesn't happen because the girl is becoming distant when we are in the moment… How does that make me feel Ok we are now discussing things, which wasn't even my initial concern. I think I have been perfectly fine with my boundaries and how much close I can be with a new guy within 7 days. It's not only about his needs or attraction. It's about my comfort level also. Because he is horny, am not going to give him access to my body or give in to his demands. Frankly there wasn't any demand also. He made a suggestion which I gracefully turned down. He kissed me or touched as much as he wanted. Whatever he did was within my boundary so I didn't have to interfere. It's not like we are going around for a month and he hasn't even kissed me!
pickflicker Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 I think I had made my intention clear before going there... in an indirect way. He said... Don't worry you will be fine, I just want to spend some time with you. And since he offered to pick n drop me... I said... all right... There's your problem. Indirect. Guys like him take "indirect" as yes. As I said, unless you intend to sleep with him, don't go to his house.
pickflicker Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Update I texted him some time back. Me - Hey howz your Friday progressing? Just wanted to confirm our plan to meet tomorrow. Please let me know He - It's been very busy. I need more days in a month. Tomorrow looks good. Oh my God, now you're chasing him after his sh*tty behaviour. Stop! 2
Fondue Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 Agree with the other two. Stop initiating contact. And next time, if you don't intend to sleep with him, don't go to his house. It makes your position crystal clear. This exactly. You probably gave him the impression you were down to do the dirty by accepting his invitation to his home. You only come over (for the first time) if you intend to do one thing. Otherwise there are plenty of other venues to hang out at. 1
Phantom888 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 See if he still wants to see you again after you tell him you are not ready for sex yet tomorrow. If he is truly interested in YOU, he will stick around. If he just wants to have sex and then run, then you will not likely hear from him again or as frequently.
Minnie09 Posted January 31, 2014 Posted January 31, 2014 This exactly. You probably gave him the impression you were down to do the dirty by accepting his invitation to his home. You only come over (for the first time) if you intend to do one thing. Otherwise there are plenty of other venues to hang out at. Apparently not when you're dating that guy: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/458227-he-not-physically-attracted Can we trade?
Author winny Posted February 4, 2014 Author Posted February 4, 2014 Just wanted to update all on what happened till now. On Friday I got a text few hours later from him - He - I cannot make it tomorrow. I am driving (to near by state) to give company to my Dad. He has a doc appointment. Me - Oh I hope all is good. Btw, do u want us to continue seeing each other when you are back? He - Yeah!!! My Dad was told he has cancer. Me - Ok am sorry.. when did you get to know. He - We have known around a month but tomorrow he is going in to the doctor and I want to be there. Me - Yeah you should. Let me know how it goes. And, I have really enjoyed knowing you and meeting you and would like to continue. That's it. No other updates from him yet. I have left it there now. But am feeling kind of low that... dating is not going good for me. Guess I have to take a break This sucks...
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