Minnie09 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 OMG dating is such a chore. 2nd date with an ok guy. We're both 40+, he's 2 yrs older. Invited me to his house to "watch a movie", which to me sounded like I'll get some .... you know. He's been consistent for a month with initiating contact / calling...and at the same time never reacted poorly if I had to reschedule etc. perfect! And we BOTH said we are NOT looking for a committed R ATM. So I go to his house, bring wine, anticipating some "fun"......and there he was - cooking, so we had to have dinner, of course, we ended up kissing and he gave me a long back rub (seriously).......which developed into an extended full body massage with me laying on the floor......clothes on......nothing. OMG how frustrating. It's not that we're in college anymore with a 3-date-rule. Jeez. Maybe he decided he didn't like my body after rubbing it. I have no clue if he got a hard-on or not. But seriously....I left 3 hours later and went to bed. Wondering. He's called and texted since then, so he's either being polite or else I don't know. Casual dating? If I say that I mean it. I don't want to be seriously involved. FWB would be sufficient. And it's not that I stated that aggressively, but I did say once or twice that a relationship is "too time consuming" at this point. And he agreed! Has that happened to anybody? I kinda feel rejected.
Phantom888 Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 1) He is not interested. 2) Something about you turned him off during the evening. 3) He doesn't want to be FWB. 4) He is not a sexual person. 5) He likes you as a friend, with no benefits. 6) Touching you doesn't feel right. 7) He's really shy. 8) He's gay. 9) You resemble his mom. 10) He's seeing someone else, and realizes he would rather be with her. Could be any or all of these. I just know that if I invite a lady home, then I will get her in bed. There were 2 times when I changed my mind. One time was a really attractive older woman, and her body scent didn't smell good to me. After we got naked and kissed, I decided I couldn't have sex with her because her scent was too unpleasant for me. I went to the bathroom and came out with an excuse (I don't feel well...must have been dinner bugs). The 2nd time was with a woman I hardly knew, and when she got topless, her boobs were horrible. I just couldn't go through with it, so I told her I wanted to "wait" and get to know her better before sex.
Author Minnie09 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 No. Clearly he wouldn't go for obese at all. I'm 5-4 / and weigh 115. I'm not very muscular / toned though ATM. But I wasn't even naked yet!!!
mammasita Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Why didn't you roll over during the massage and make a move?
soccerrprp Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Why weren't you CLEAR? Why didn't you reach for his crotch to show you wanted more when given the massage. It sounds like you wanted to have sex with him. I think perhaps he was unsure, didn't want to mess up by going for you and then being rejected. One thing for certain, while giving you a massage, I certainly would have rubbed against you to let you know if I was aroused or not. But he didn't even do that. He was playing it safe? Next time, turn over, guide his hand(s). Just tell him.
Zahara Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 He probably didn't get a good vibe from you just laying there. I agree that you should have turned around and playfully touched him, somewhere -- slowly reach up and maybe unbutton his shirt, take his hand and guide him to a hot spot, rub his thigh...something that would have shown him that you were receptive. Laying like a cold fish isn't giving him a sign. He was probably also shy and trying to take cues from you.
BradJacobs Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Some guys just don't know how to capitalize on things. He might be inexperienced? Not making excuses for the poor sod but I'm laughing at all of the things that might have been floating around in his head while giving you the rub down. How many do you think talked him out of making a move as opposed to the few that told him to make one?
MidwestUSA Posted January 30, 2014 Posted January 30, 2014 Next time he does the cooking, you do the rubbing. I think you'll find what you're looking for really quickly. Take matters into your own hands (literally)!
Author Minnie09 Posted January 30, 2014 Author Posted January 30, 2014 I really don't know. Other than not exactly turning around and grabbing him and pulling him down on me, I did encourage him by letting him know I enjoyed it. Moaning, telling him how good it felt, moving my hips etc. that's enough encouragement, no? All he had to do was just grabbing harder and getting started. And as I said.....we did kiss and it did feel good. Not a bad kisser at all.
Author Minnie09 Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 I don't know why the moderator(s) deleted the question about me being obese. I think it's a legitimate question, and I answered it. Now my answer is still there but not the question....anyhow...thanks for everybody's input so far. Keep it coming. Oh and he still texts. For whatever reason.....
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