InnocentMan Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 You think being a vegan is a political choice? I always thought it was about animal welfare/rights. I'm sure they're not all shaven headed activists. You can't judge every vegan on the few experiences that you've had with others. When you start pulling that crap, your dating pool will shrink very quickly. It's your choice, but the time you've wasted in this thread, you could have gave this wench a piece of your mind. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Less messy? If a woman rejects a guy in person and says " No thanks, not interested" How is it any less of a valid response?[/Quote] If a guy walks up to a girl on the street and asks her out? It can be rationalized in any number of ways. Online is pretty clear. I've seen what you'd consider your best pictures, I've read what you're about, I don't like you. Take care. You get what you give in this Life. I like to try and be polite and positive as there's no telling when a potential suitor online turns out to.be a co worker or boss.[/Quote] Erm. This kind of helps my point. Much less awkward to run into someone and say "oh you sent me a message? Ugh, I guess it got buried under all the others. I never read it," as opposed to "Oh hey! You're that guy I said I wasn't attracted to, funny seeing you here!" And contrary to your signature no one is type so it goes to show we've all dealt with rejection alot in our lives. [/Quote] My signature is for the lulz. I just dont see why it's so.hard to be polite? Yes I've rejected guys online who kept pestering me. If they don't get my very obvious rejection then they get blocked. Easy as that Don't take it from me. Take it from the women who have tried what you're suggesting. It's not uncommon for them to hear "lol you're not that good looking anyway," or some other bitter parting remark. Very few people can actually handle "sorry, I'm not into you physically and/or personality wise, take care!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlametheIrish Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 If a guy walks up to a girl on the street and asks her out? It can be rationalized in any number of ways. Online is pretty clear. I've seen what you'd consider your best pictures, I've read what you're about, I don't like you. Take care. ----- See how easy it was to express yourself to someone online that you have no.interest in talking to? You've seen my best pics, and you know what I'm about? Not even goi.g to try and decipher such an ignorant message. Don't know what I did to offend you, don't care either Erm. This kind of helps my point. Much less awkward to run into someone and say "oh you sent me a message? Ugh, I guess it got buried under all the others. I never read it," as opposed to "Oh hey! You're that guy I said I wasn't attracted to, funny seeing you here!" My signature is for the lulz. Don't take it from me. Take it from the women who have tried what you're suggesting. It's not uncommon for them to hear "lol you're not that good looking anyway," or some other bitter parting remark. Very few people can actually handle "sorry, I'm not into you physically and/or personality wise, take care!" I have gotten bitter responses which warrent a block on OLD. Easy as that, no blow to.my ego. I came to this website for the same reaspn many other people did. No reason to single me out like that. Me thinks you're not such the nice guy you try to portray yourself on LS as. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I have gotten bitter responses which warrent a block on OLD. Easy as that, no blow to.my ego.[/Quote] No blow to your ego, sure. But a blow to theirs. Which is why I ignore. It's a lesser blow to get no response at all and fill in the blanks yourself as opposed to having someone flat out tell you that no, I'm not into you. I came to this website for the same reaspn many other people did. No reason to single me out like that. Me thinks you're not such the nice guy you try to portray yourself on LS as. First of all, stop. Second of all, if I recall, you singled out my post first, so I responded. What we've got going on here? It's called a discussion. We disagree on the matter and so we're discussing why we feel what we do. I didn't "single you out," but rather, quoted and responded to the only person who quoted and responded to me. I have not attacked you personally in any way, so let's not start making unfounded claims about who I am or who I portray myself to be on this forum. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlametheIrish Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I'm sorry I misinterpreted your post. I was about to give myself serious foot in mouth.syndrome before I re read it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I'm sorry I misinterpreted your post. I was about to give myself serious foot in mouth.syndrome before I re read it. Don't sweat it. Happens to all of us. Link to post Share on other sites
InnocentMan Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Is it a full moon tonight? All the women on here seem to be going off the deep end. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Babolat, I lived with a Vegan, and am good friends with another. They are always preaching about how wrong it is to eat animals, or animal by-products. They refuse to go eat at places I enjoy going, though, I go do theirs. Everything I've learned about Vegans, I dislike. Vegetarians are fine, that's a dietary choice, Veganism is a political choice. I have never heard one word of preaching from the ones I know, In fact, I never even paid attention or noticed they were Vegans. I guess that is my point...maybe "your Vegan" had other issues, too. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 It's tough for girls to write messages. They're typically the ones being pursued so they're usually reluctant and unsure about how to play the opposite role. That's why they tend to preface messages with things like "I don't normally message guys, but..." or "I'm a little shy, but..." If they obviously didn't read your profile or couldn't take the time to write you an interesting sentence or two, I don't think there's any shame in ignoring them. However, if I ever get the sense that a girl is actually stepping out of her comfort zone, and my action/inaction is going to affect how she proceeds in the future, I'll reply with something like this (assuming I don't like her): "Hey (name), thanks so much for your message, that's sweet," then I disqualify them on something not related to the message or their profile "You seem nice but I see you live way out in Long Island and I'm trying to keep this to the city for simplicity's sake. Best of luck finding a more mobile guy!" Then they know that the message was read and appreciated and they don't feel uncomfortable about sending it. Maybe that's counterproductive, or perhaps setting a girl up for a guy who won't be so nice, but often times they reply back saying it was nice of me to respond. Just my two cents. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) No. If a conversation has started and fundamental differences pop up, maybe, but if not interested in the initial email, no, I don't respond. Do you KNOW how many emails a pretty girl gets? I'd have no time for work/study/social life/sleep... Edited January 31, 2014 by pickflicker 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I use to reply to most because I like to talk,I don't know what I'm looking for either. But now I don't care anymore ,I pick a few favourites,three of them, talk to them on text kik only,so no distractions.only way I can connect on some level. I don't feel bad about this,alot of boys are doing the rounds. Link to post Share on other sites
Graduate Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 If they obviously didn't read your profile or couldn't take the time to write you an interesting sentence or two, I don't think there's any shame in ignoring them. However, if I ever get the sense that a girl is actually stepping out of her comfort zone, and my action/inaction is going to affect how she proceeds in the future, I'll reply with something like this (assuming I don't like her): "Hey (name), thanks so much for your message, that's sweet," then I disqualify them on something not related to the message or their profile "You seem nice but I see you live way out in Long Island and I'm trying to keep this to the city for simplicity's sake. Best of luck finding a more mobile guy!" Then they know that the message was read and appreciated and they don't feel uncomfortable about sending it. Maybe that's counterproductive, or perhaps setting a girl up for a guy who won't be so nice, but often times they reply back saying it was nice of me to respond. Just my two cents. I do the same with nice messages from guys! If I am not interested but they crafted a really nice message that obviously took them some time and effort I feel bad about ignoring their message. So I reply thanking them for their message and tell them we would not be a good match based on something unrelated to them personally. I get that many guys would prefer to receive no reply instead of a polite rejection, but I don't have the heart to totally ignore a message and I feel it might be not so bad if they know the reason I am not interested has nothing to do with their message, but the distance between us, the age-gap, the fact that one of us wants kids while the other doesn't, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You know it's funny that on forums everyone claims they would always reply to a well-crafted message. Yet in the real world hardly anyone does. Y'all are either lying, or not a typical cross-section of the community. We all know that as a guy you have to send out a lot of messages to get a reply, maybe 10-20. Do I really want my inbox filled with 19 "thanks but no thanks" messages? No. I just want 1 positive response. I want my inbox to be a list of women who are interested in me, not a list of those who aren't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Write her back but just be very formal and non-sexual. Bore her to tears. Let her be the one to stop responding. Unless you secretly want the ego boost of having someone write you something like that and not even bother to reply. Or you could always be honest and see if it gets you anywhere. Baby you're gorgeous but holistic healing just doesn't compute for me. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I honestly spend 95% of my time in social situations trying to get rid of one person or another so I know what I'm talking about. Being boring and formal = for the win. Especially with women. And you don't feel guilty because you didn't really reject them. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Well, it's kind of moot now, becuase I'm seeing countless women end their dating profile with, "If I don't reply, it means I wasn't interested, so please don't send me another email a week later". Or something like that. Tons of women are doing this. I don't respond to everyone that sends me an email on OLD. (As a guy it's not like I'm bombarded with them anyway.) Most are from women I'm not attracted to, and are merely one line sentences that leave me nothing to respond to anyway. Nothing to pique my interest or give me a reason to respond. On occasion, like this morning, I get one that makes me feel as if I "should" respond even though there is nothing of interest to me in her. I received a nice email from an attractive looking woman who doesn't live too far from me who is the polar opposite of who I am from what I can see in her profile. Shes mostly vegan, I am most assuredly not, she's liberal, I am not. She's a "holistic practitioner", nothing against them, but the even the term makes me laugh. She grows her own food, I have a very small garden. These type of things. It's obvious she read mine, because she made some comments about things in it, but I can't understand why she'd write me when we are so clearly opposites. I mean, if I see a beautiful woman on OLD, and I see plenty, I still don't write if I don't think we are a match. I know what I want and looks are only part of the package. Anyway, it was a decently long email, well written, and asked a couple of questions. I have no interest in dating this woman, but feel as if I should write back at least to acknowledge the attempt. I know I hate it when I write something nice and it just disappears into the ether. At the same time, I know there's no interest on my part so I hate to write back only to end up saying, thanks but no thanks. Anyone else feel like this. I'm really torn on if I want to respond or not. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You know it's funny that on forums everyone claims they would always reply to a well-crafted message. Yet in the real world hardly anyone does. Agreed, 110%!! On message boards it seems the women claim they always respond to the well, thought out emails, but they hardly ever do. BUT, I DO get a woman, VERY occasionally that's SO impressed with my initial email, that they DO respond...and I get date....but that' like once a year that ever happens. It seems they can't get over, upon comparison with the other morons that had been emailing her, that I actually took the time to craft an email for specifically HER. LOL They say something like "Wow, you actually READ My profile!" As if they were impressed with me. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 There's this one woman on OK Cupid as I recall, claimed to be one of those strong, independent types that "don't need a man". She actually had a paragraph long explanation similar to this very message board TOPIC. She goes, "Yeah, I could reply to the messages of the men that I'm not interested with a 'thanks but no thanks'" But then she envisioned herself getting a response from a guy with, "Why not, with our common interests, beliefs, and hobbies, I believe we'd make a good match". She envisioned how TIRING it would be for her to explain or get caught up in a telemarketer's salespitch of him trying to sell himself to her, but her explaining WHY she isn't interested. She didn't want to have to get caught up in a volley of back and forth emails with a guy that's TRYING to talk her into meeting her for drinks or lunch or whatever. lol Link to post Share on other sites
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