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You Can't Change Someone


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As they say or I have been told, "You can't change someone" they won't change etc etc etc.

 

But I have always had to date guys who DID NOT drink, smoke, or do drugs. All of my ex-boyfriends did do these things but stopped cold turkey when dating me. Some managed to never do this stuff ever again, while 1 did it behind my back without me ever knowing until he admitted it.

 

So they sorta changed by not doing these things anymore after meeting me and for me.

 

But do you think this sort of change or other changes is a good thing or bad thing?

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todreaminblue

i would call that you being a positive influence on someones life...ultimately the choice to change is all them.......if someone really wants to change ...and does change a positive influence may be the reason the desire to change became possible and obtainable........but....that change is still in them to begin with......i think its good.......thats my perspective......deb

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My ex-girlfriend partially broke up with me because she felt "caged." She couldn't really be herself around me because, I'll admit, I was a pretty damn controlling ex-boyfriend. My ex-girlfriend was a social drinker, and I despised alcohol for any occasion. I wouldn't tell me ex-girlfriend that she couldn't drink or force her to do anything, but I'd manipulate her to feeling guilty about it. In a way, I hope that I would convince her to change, but she never budged. The reason why my ex-girlfriend didn't social drink as much as she could've is because she didn't want to upset me. So...in order to make me happy, the only thing she could really do is accomodate me. However, she never felt the need to change because she felt that there was nothing wrong with social drinking. Eventually, it caught up with her until she decided to be herself again. People don't change for other people; they either change for themselves, or they're just accommodating someone by not being themselves.

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