working with someone that hates my guts...

[D-Lish]

There must be one in every department. I am dealing with a jealous old bag, too. She is past retirement age so I wish she would just go. Unfortunately she has seniority. Might be the incentive I need to find a better job though.

 

I think there is always "one" pretty much everywhere you go in life.

[TaraMaiden]

In that case - excuse me for saying so, but - your bosses are inept.

They need to haul HER into the office and advise her that she is garnering a reputation of being a 'vexatious litigant'. Any further incidents of completely unfounded complaint will be considered as her harassing others.

Thy need to make the meeting informal, and advise her it is a verbal warning.

She is causing disruption, unrest and tension, and it has not gone unnoticed that she seems to be focusing on one or two specific other staff members who have done nothing to merit such negative attention at all.

 

Any further unfounded complaints on her part will result in a written warning, and the procedure will continue to follow through until - if she persists - it arrives at the inevitable solution: She will be asked to leave.

 

I know this can happen, because it happened in my last workplace.

It happened before I arrived, so I wasn't party to the matter, but that's exactly how it went down - and that's how it should be handled by your bosses.

[D-Lish]

Borderlines are more stuck between 'i love you' 'i hate you', with an impossibility for a happy point in between.

There is absolutely no love in this woman.

 

What you describe sounds more like Narcissistic Personality Disorder [look up Histrionic too; Narcissistic tends to affect men more than women, while Histrionic is the opposite].

 

I think she fits the borderline stuff. Borderlines often manifest narcissistic qualities. She lacks many key qualities that would qualify her as a narcissist. The world definitely revolves around her- but as a victim, not a champion.

 

She's a weepy little woman that strikes out as a bully, then retreats into a weepy state when people turn their backs on her because she's been mean.

[Leigh 87]

Why on earth do your bosses keep her?

 

Do you work in the medical field, and does she have some vital knowledge that can save lives

 

Why is it so important to keep her there?

 

Sheesh. I got let go because I took a too long toilet break (I nearly fainted, as a went to work ill).

 

Really strange that they won't dismiss her. You have more than enough people who will attest to the fact she is unbearable to work with.

 

I feel so sorry for this woman. Sure, she makes your life a living hell, however; she will never experience true love or happiness. People like her never do:(

 

I wish they could just get all the annoying @ssholes together and recruit them to work for one big company. Far away:lmao:

 

 

I've never worked with someone that was that deranged and delusional as the woman you are describing, D - lish.

[D-Lish]

Why on earth do your bosses keep her?

 

Do you work in the medical field, and does she have some vital knowledge that can save lives

 

Why is it so important to keep her there?

 

Sheesh. I got let go because I took a too long toilet break (I nearly fainted, as a went to work ill).

 

Really strange that they won't dismiss her. You have more than enough people who will attest to the fact she is unbearable to work with.

 

I feel so sorry for this woman. Sure, she makes your life a living hell, however; she will never experience true love or happiness. People like her never do:(

 

I wish they could just get all the annoying @ssholes together and recruit them to work for one big company. Far away:lmao:

 

 

I've never worked with someone that was that deranged and delusional as the woman you are describing, D - lish.

 

Hey Leigh,

 

It would be extremely hard to get fired where I work- too much red tape. Once the 90 day probation period is over, you're in- and you'd have to do a whole lot more than be a major pain in everyone's butt to get let go.

 

I do feel a little sorry for her as well- but she's a very difficult person to like because she's so negative.

 

From everyone else's perspective- they/we would love to get along with her. There are 17 women and one man that work in my department. We function really well as a team. Everyone gets along, socializes outside of work- we care about each other and support one another- there are very few issues or drama that ever come up. You add one bad apple into the mix and it can have a really negative impact on everyone else.

 

She has burned all of her bridges with every single person in our department- and everyone avoids her like the plague. The sad thing is that all of her perceived issues with everyone are of her own making- especially her issues with me.

 

The amount of work that is required to keep our department functioning is pretty intense. There is no room for drama with the deadlines and standards we have to adhere to.

[D-Lish]

In that case - excuse me for saying so, but - your bosses are inept.

They need to haul HER into the office and advise her that she is garnering a reputation of being a 'vexatious litigant'. Any further incidents of completely unfounded complaint will be considered as her harassing others.

Thy need to make the meeting informal, and advise her it is a verbal warning.

She is causing disruption, unrest and tension, and it has not gone unnoticed that she seems to be focusing on one or two specific other staff members who have done nothing to merit such negative attention at all.

 

Any further unfounded complaints on her part will result in a written warning, and the procedure will continue to follow through until - if she persists - it arrives at the inevitable solution: She will be asked to leave.

 

I know this can happen, because it happened in my last workplace.

It happened before I arrived, so I wasn't party to the matter, but that's exactly how it went down - and that's how it should be handled by your bosses.

 

Hi Tara,

 

I agree with you that a person like this should be dealt with and fired. Unfortunately, there is a lot of red tape that protects people like this in terms of labour laws, etc. Firing someone would be a pretty heavy process where I work. It's about avoiding lawsuits unfortunately. We live in a society where a large company needs to be very careful about how they handle bad employees.

 

This woman is running to management about being treated badly by her co-workers. This is a potential harassment claim that has to be treated with kid gloves. It's quite silly because she's actually the one doing the harassing by making unwarranted complaints- but it would be quite the process to prove that and follow through with warnings and an eventual firing.

 

Management knows she is a trouble maker- and as a person that comes from a heavily laden management background- I understand why they are handling things the way they are. She's protected by company policy. I could make an issue of it if I was inclined to do so- but I'm not inclined to do so because I understand that she is emotionally unbalanced and I don't have the time to embrace a battle with her.

[Eau Claire]

Most difficult people are difficult with everyone. She is a known entity.

 

Always be civil and retain your own standards. Don't react to her shortcomings. You are a better person than she is.

 

In contrast, when we respect an individual and they have an issue, we immediately pay attention.

[FitChick]

Find her another job!

[D-Lish]

Most difficult people are difficult with everyone. She is a known entity.

 

Always be civil and retain your own standards. Don't react to her shortcomings. You are a better person than she is.

 

In contrast, when we respect an individual and they have an issue, we immediately pay attention.

 

I am always professional with her when I have to deal with her- and I keep it civil and short.

 

Find her another job!

 

LOL. I am pretty sure she is going to go off on a stress leave pretty soon. People barely talk to her. I'm sure she will cite it as being my fault when she goes.

[whichwayisup]

They know she is a problem- but they have to handle her with kid gloves

.

 

Yup I worked with someone similar to this, and they are not easy to get rid of, if at all. Fact is, if she has a mental illness, whether she's bi polar or DID, that's not reason to fire her. Your only hope is, they make a specific job for her, something to keep her busy and happier.

 

Everybody knows about her so don't ever worry, management has your back.

 

Sooner or later they will have to deal with her behaviour at work since it does affect so many.

[No Limit]

Posts like these make me afraid of studying health administration someday. Good luck with that troublemaker.

[Cabinet]

D-Lish,

 

I'm not sure if your post was just to vent? It seems like people are offering up suggestions to you and you are countering everything with why you can't do it or why it won't work. Plus, you then take every opportunity to pile on even more as to how horrible this woman is and how much everyone else at the company is 100% on your side.

 

Maybe this will be a controversial post that will anger you but I'm going to say something as a very experienced HR Director:

 

Work conflicts like this are rarely this one-sided.

 

If you truly want a management position with this company then I would say "refusing to participate in further meetings" with her, HR, the mgr etc. is probably not the wisest approach. It certainly doesn't scream "Management Material!" to me.

 

One of the best things you can do is to hit the situation head on and go to your boss. Pre-empt her by asking for a meeting with her, your boss (they will probably ask for HR) and basically call out the elephant in the room. I would just frame it as you "feel that somehow your working relationship got off on the wrong foot" and "things seem to not be getting better" and "you sincerely want to find a way to talk about it and make it better because tensions on teams affect everyone around them" things like this... Give her a chance to speak and see what she says. She might surprise you with some grievance you don't even know about. Listen and take her as seriously as you can. Everyone can improve somewhere.

 

It isn't that she will change - she won't. (she might, but probably not) The point is that you appear the more mature and professional person by a least trying to proactively address the problem.

 

Good Luck!

[Tayla]

D-Lish,

 

I'm not sure if your post was just to vent? It seems like people are offering up suggestions to you and you are countering everything with why you can't do it or why it won't work. Plus, you then take every opportunity to pile on even more as to how horrible this woman is and how much everyone else at the company is 100% on your side.

 

Maybe this will be a controversial post that will anger you but I'm going to say something as a very experienced HR Director:

 

Work conflicts like this are rarely this one-sided.

 

If you truly want a management position with this company then I would say "refusing to participate in further meetings" with her, HR, the mgr etc. is probably not the wisest approach. It certainly doesn't scream "Management Material!" to me.

 

One of the best things you can do is to hit the situation head on and go to your boss. Pre-empt her by asking for a meeting with her, your boss (they will probably ask for HR) and basically call out the elephant in the room. I would just frame it as you "feel that somehow your working relationship got off on the wrong foot" and "things seem to not be getting better" and "you sincerely want to find a way to talk about it and make it better because tensions on teams affect everyone around them" things like this... Give her a chance to speak and see what she says. She might surprise you with some grievance you don't even know about. Listen and take her as seriously as you can. Everyone can improve somewhere.

 

It isn't that she will change - she won't. (she might, but probably not) The point is that you appear the more mature and professional person by a least trying to proactively address the problem.

 

Good Luck!

 

On a side note, it can be one sided and in this circumstance it is. The OP is creating a realistic affirmation that this matter is not in the best interest as she knows her counter parts antics. Somethings are futile before venturing into a Kum-bye-ya meeting of sorts. I've walked in D-Lish's shoes and can attest that any HR personnel that insists both are guilty are setting the stage for a negative outcome.

 

I didn't sense D-Lish to be un-receptive to comments here. She is realistic.

[D-Lish]

.

 

Yup I worked with someone similar to this, and they are not easy to get rid of, if at all. Fact is, if she has a mental illness, whether she's bi polar or DID, that's not reason to fire her. Your only hope is, they make a specific job for her, something to keep her busy and happier.

 

Everybody knows about her so don't ever worry, management has your back.

 

Sooner or later they will have to deal with her behaviour at work since it does affect so many.

 

Hi WWIU:love:

 

It's been working out for me to avoid. I am so busy every day, there is little time to deal with drama!

 

On a side note, it can be one sided and in this circumstance it is. The OP is creating a realistic affirmation that this matter is not in the best interest as she knows her counter parts antics. Somethings are futile before venturing into a Kum-bye-ya meeting of sorts. I've walked in D-Lish's shoes and can attest that any HR personnel that insists both are guilty are setting the stage for a negative outcome.

 

I didn't sense D-Lish to be un-receptive to comments here. She is realistic.

 

Hi Tayla,

 

It is one sided, I'd be the first to say so if it wasn't. I don't like this woman for obvious reasons, but I am able to go to work every day and maintain a professional attitude with her - she really seems to be focused on her dislike for me and it's a little disturbing. I have a no-nonsense approach when it comes to work, and I simply have no desire to engage in drama I want no part of.

 

There is a very valid reason I told my boss that I wouldn't participate in any future meetings with this woman. I am open to addressing her complaints with my boss alone- but I won't engage her in any future "sit downs". My bosses agreed with me on that call.

 

This is a woman that runs to HR 2-3 times a week with various complaints about numerous people- it's drama.

 

This thread is a vent for sure.

[Got it]

D-Lish,

 

I'm not sure if your post was just to vent? It seems like people are offering up suggestions to you and you are countering everything with why you can't do it or why it won't work. Plus, you then take every opportunity to pile on even more as to how horrible this woman is and how much everyone else at the company is 100% on your side.

 

Maybe this will be a controversial post that will anger you but I'm going to say something as a very experienced HR Director:

 

Work conflicts like this are rarely this one-sided.

 

If you truly want a management position with this company then I would say "refusing to participate in further meetings" with her, HR, the mgr etc. is probably not the wisest approach. It certainly doesn't scream "Management Material!" to me.

 

One of the best things you can do is to hit the situation head on and go to your boss. Pre-empt her by asking for a meeting with her, your boss (they will probably ask for HR) and basically call out the elephant in the room. I would just frame it as you "feel that somehow your working relationship got off on the wrong foot" and "things seem to not be getting better" and "you sincerely want to find a way to talk about it and make it better because tensions on teams affect everyone around them" things like this... Give her a chance to speak and see what she says. She might surprise you with some grievance you don't even know about. Listen and take her as seriously as you can. Everyone can improve somewhere.

 

It isn't that she will change - she won't. (she might, but probably not) The point is that you appear the more mature and professional person by a least trying to proactively address the problem.

 

Good Luck!

 

I agree with this to an extent. This is true for someone that is not dealing with a mental health issue. Since the OP said that she has been out on stress leave you are dealing with FMLA/ADA (country equivalent) concerns so there are other factors at play that may not make it more than a one sided issue. I have dealt with employees like this and it is really about them and not a two way street. A good HR team will investigate to make sure but it doesn't mean it is always both people.

 

I do agree that the more reasonable YOU look, the more apt to try and come to a happy medium, etc. makes you look better. You know that management and HR are dealing with her and are aware of her idiosyncrasies. They are doing their job by hearing her out and looking into things. But that doesn't mean they aren't building their case around her in the mean time but yes any medical issues would put an extra wrinkle into things.

 

Keep doing your job, document any issues/interactions/etc that you have with her so if a complaint is filed you have documentation of your account of it, and push forward. As odd as it is, this is obviously not about your personally with her.

 

You can use this to further exhibit your skill sets and people skills. Play the game by trying to come to a happy medium with her but still have your boundaries in place.

[D-Lish]

I agree with this to an extent. This is true for someone that is not dealing with a mental health issue. Since the OP said that she has been out on stress leave you are dealing with FMLA/ADA (country equivalent) concerns so there are other factors at play that may not make it more than a one sided issue. I have dealt with employees like this and it is really about them and not a two way street. A good HR team will investigate to make sure but it doesn't mean it is always both people.

 

I do agree that the more reasonable YOU look, the more apt to try and come to a happy medium, etc. makes you look better. You know that management and HR are dealing with her and are aware of her idiosyncrasies. They are doing their job by hearing her out and looking into things. But that doesn't mean they aren't building their case around her in the mean time but yes any medical issues would put an extra wrinkle into things.

 

Keep doing your job, document any issues/interactions/etc that you have with her so if a complaint is filed you have documentation of your account of it, and push forward. As odd as it is, this is obviously not about your personally with her.

 

You can use this to further exhibit your skill sets and people skills. Play the game by trying to come to a happy medium with her but still have your boundaries in place.

 

Hey Got it,

 

I agree about documenting things, I haven't been thus far because I just find the whole thing ridiculous and unnecessary. I don't know what else I can do to make things better. If I ignore her, she complains about me, if I engage her in the slightest, she finds a reason to take offense and complain about me. I can't win.

 

The reason I refused any future meeting with this person is because I believe acknowledging her complaints would be validating that there is a problem between "the two of us". The participation in this problem is one-sided, and I refuse to engage her delusions. I have three bosses above me that support me on this. They are on my side and they know she is the problem.

 

This is a woman that is constantly running to the office to report people, when she is not reporting people, she is in the bathroom crying about something, she calls in sick on average 2-3 times a month and often leaves mid-shift complaining about a headache.

 

I showed up for work today to find out she has left on stress leave again.