sraposo5 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 (edited) Hi! So, I was with my ex for a year and a few months. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago, and I have not talked to him except for when I picked up my stuff from his apartment. He broke up with me over the phone (which really pisses me off and I would love to know why he did it over the phone), and he broke up with me two days before New Years. Although I do miss certain things about our relationship and I admit, I do still have feelings for him, I really know it's not a good idea to get back together and I genuinely don't want to. However, I just got back to school from winter break, and we both are studying the same major. We are going to have to see each other every single day which REALLY sucks. I saw him for the first time yesterday and I just smiled and said hi and he looked pretty pissed off but said hi. All of these feelings of sadness and anger came rushing back. I just have a lot of unanswered questions about why we broke up and how he broke up with me. So, to make a long story short, I called him about a half hour after we saw each other to see if we could get together and just talk about what happened. He didn't answer so I sent a text explaining why I wanted to talk and that I really didn't want to get back together, but that I really need some closure so that every time I see him I my mind doesn't get bombarded with all these feelings and questions. I really just want to have a good productive semester at school without being distracted every freaking day by seeing him everywhere. I really think closure will help me with that. However, he still hasn't responded! I've called him a total of three times, but I stopped because I really don't want to be that girl that bombards him with unwanted texts and calls. I guess my question is, is it reasonable to ask him to provide me with some closure? That's seriously all I want. I'm really not looking to get back together. My second question is why the hell do you think he's ignoring me?! I could understand if I had been badgering him for weeks, but I let it go and just tried my best to move on... Jeeze you'd think I was the one that wronged him. I seriously don't know what I did to deserve being ignored. Edited January 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs, please use them
pickflicker Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 He's ignoring you because he's done. His silence is your closure.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 You want closure? That's cool then get it. Closure comes from within. No one can give you that but yourself.
Author sraposo5 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 I get that he's done... but why ignore me? Maybe I'm just naive but I don't get what the problem is with sitting down and just getting some answers? I feel like if he were completely over it (done) then there would be no problem with having a little chat with me. I can understand ignoring if we ended on really bad terms (like cheating or a really bad argument) but we didn't end on bad terms. I could also understand ignoring if I were blowing up his phone every day, but again, I'm not doing that. This is my first time contacting him in weeks.
Author sraposo5 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 Also, it's easy to ignore calls/texts when you never have to see him. We have to see him every day! It's like, why make things more awkward by ignoring me? All he had to say is, "I really don't want to talk to you". I guess I'm too much of a straight forward person. I don't like the ignoring game. I like to told even if it hurts.
pickflicker Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 That's not how it works. Ignoring means you're done. It's the simplest method for moving on. 1
Haydn Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 OP, you have to sit tight. IGNORE. Very early days. Sorry OP to go off thread. Pick can you pm me?
hopti Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Sorry OP to go off thread. Pick can you pm me? darn it! I was just about to write something similar. Pickflicker: I really like your opinions on this forum and was wondering if you could take a look at my thread and share your views: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/451828-do-people-suddenly-change As for OP, don't ask him anything. Chances are high that you'll just walk out with lots of new questions and I am sure he wont be able to provide you any closure. 1
pickflicker Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 OP, you have to sit tight. IGNORE. Very early days. Sorry OP to go off thread. Pick can you pm me? Sorry mate, no PM message capabilities yet...
pickflicker Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 darn it! I was just about to write something similar. Pickflicker: I really like your opinions on this forum and was wondering if you could take a look at my thread and share your views: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/451828-do-people-suddenly-change As for OP, don't ask him anything. Chances are high that you'll just walk out with lots of new questions and I am sure he wont be able to provide you any closure. Sure no problem.
Haydn Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I`ll sit tight Pick until you do. General patter. TC Sorry mate, no PM message capabilities yet... 1
notthathard Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Truth hurt sometimes to the person who is receiving the truth or even hard for the person giving the truth to tell. In some cases there are so many reasons so its hard to go through them all, in other cases the reasons are hard to explain. Give it time, if you still really want to find out the reason in the distant future it will be easier for the dumper to express them later.
saltyfishhead666 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Hi! So, I was with my ex for a year and a few months. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago, and I have not talked to him except for when I picked up my stuff from his apartment. He broke up with me over the phone (which really pisses me off and I would love to know why he did it over the phone), and he broke up with me two days before New Years. Although I do miss certain things about our relationship and I admit, I do still have feelings for him, I really know it's not a good idea to get back together and I genuinely don't want to. However, I just got back to school from winter break, and we both are studying the same major. We are going to have to see each other every single day which REALLY sucks. I saw him for the first time yesterday and I just smiled and said hi and he looked pretty pissed off but said hi. All of these feelings of saddness and anger came rushing back. I just have a lot of unanswered questions about why we broke up and how he broke up with me. So, to make a long story short, I called him about a half hour after we saw each other to see if we could get together and just talk about what happened. He didn't answer so I sent a text explaining why I wanted to talk and that I really didn't want to get back together, but that I really need some closure so that every time I see him I my mind doesn't get bombarded with all these feelings and questions. I really just want to have a good productive semester at school without being distracted every freaking day by seeing him everywhere. I really think closure will help me with that. However, he still hasn't responded! I've called him a total of three times, but I stopped because I really don't want to be that girl that bombards him with unwanted texts and calls. I guess my question is, is it reasonable to ask him to provide me with some closure? That's seriously all I want. I'm really not looking to get back together. My second question is why the hell do you think he's ignoring me?! I could understand if I had been badgering him for weeks, but I let it go and just tried my best to move on... Jeeze you'd think I was the one that wronged him. I seriously don't know what I did to deserve being ignored. When people break up they often need closure. They often have many unanswered questions they need to ask so they can in effect understand and move on. My examples were why? How could you do this to someone you love? Why would you choose X person over me? Me and my ex split (after his silent treatment of 6 weeks) this was almost 7 months ago. I still have these questions, I always will. I will forever wonder how someone can say I love you but walk away like you are poo on their shoe. 9 times out of 10 you will never find out. They don't want or need to explain themselves they've made the decision and that is it. Oneday you will become comfortable and accept the fact that you don't know those answers and quite frankly you'd have probably felt worse knowing them. Try and keep busy, find new hobbies the gym I recommend highly. Be so busy that you don't think about it. Eventually you won't care x
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