mortensorchid Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 I have posted on this before and really need some help on it. I have an annoying friend, for more information, read here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/451674-annoying-friend He really bothered me today, as he is following me on Facebook unlike anything. To review, if we are in the same room together he will follow me around the room. I get up to go to the bathroom, he follows me into the next room. No really. The first time it happened I opened the door and saw him there, I asked if he was waiting for the bathroom. He said he wasn't. He has done it several times since, and I have said nothing about it, I just ignore him. When I go to my car, he walks me to my car when I don't want him to. I have said "You really don't have to do this." He just says "I know but I want to." Every night he sends me a request to chat. I have said sometimes no ("I am busy", "I am out", "I am with someone", etc.), lately I have started just ignoring him. I do a check in on Facebook and he asks if I want company. I post an update on Facebook and he immediately responds. Once, I posted "I'm being followed" which was a lyric from a song I was listening to, and he texts me immediately thinking I was. How many millions of others out there read one's update on a social network and do/say nothing about it? I texted back "I am fine it's a song I was listening to". I have made it clear to him that I am not interested in him. I have for all intensive purposes, treated him like he is a girlfriend, updating him on my ups and downs with other boyfriends who have since come and gone since meeting him, he won't get the message. I don't know what to do about this. I was with my friend M on Saturday night, he observed it as well and he said this is odd and needy of him to do so. I asked him what to do, he said to say "(Name), stay here I'm going to the bathroom" or the like. Will he get it if I do that? This has never happened to me before, what can I do about this?
Author mortensorchid Posted January 7, 2014 Author Posted January 7, 2014 I got another text, as usual, for "Chat tonight?". Tonight I was more vicious than usual, I texted back "NO". I hope he gets the message a bit more. I don't want to cut him out completely, I just want him to back off.
MissBee Posted January 7, 2014 Posted January 7, 2014 You say you've made it clear you're not interested but not really. When he follows you and does all the annoying stuff you ignore it most times, clearly in his mind, silence means consent. You also talk to him as a gf in your mind, but in his mind it may be read as you being interested in him. You have to actually be frank and not give him "hints" as obviously the hints aren't working. I've known people like that and I'm also the type to be gentler about my disinterest, but it doesn't always work and he is really annoying so I think you have to be frank with him, not rude, but tell him you are uncomfortable with some of what he does and if he could pull back with those behaviors.
Author mortensorchid Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 Thanks to MissBee for nailing it home. Ignoring someone did not make it go away. Instead I gave him a talking to, he said he didn't realize it was a problem and will straiten up. Since then I have seen him once or twice and he doesn't do the behaviors (following me around, walking me to the car, etc.) It did help very much that the last time I saw him I brought a guy friend with me who I decided to act a big on the lovey dovey side with.
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